


Lou

by fortheloveofsushisandboys



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Bottom Louis, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MALEPREGNANCY, Mpreg, Mpreg Louis, Top Harry, larrystylinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-02-06 14:03:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 63,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1860732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheloveofsushisandboys/pseuds/fortheloveofsushisandboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"who are you?"</p><p>"I don't remember"</p><p>"What are you?"</p><p>"I don't know"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> warning : mpreg

_A pair of eyes stared at him with such lust. Roamed his small petite body as he stood uncomfortably at the corner of his room. No matter how many times it had happen before, he’ll never get used to it. He’ll never get used to them watching his every move, touching every part of his body and using him. Using him like he was a lab rat because that was what he was to them._

_The man in white took a step closer he took a step back. It was until he hit the wall that he knew he had to do something fast._

_“Come on, Lou, it’ll be like other times,” the man said holding up a syringe filled with tuff he knew would knock him out good._

_It was easier for them that way. Easier for them to do whatever they pleased to him when he was unconscious. He’d put up a really good fight if he was awake and that’ll bring trouble. Trouble to the man obeying the orders from above._

_He knew their every move. They get orders. They come to his room. They knock him off. Do whatever shit they want to do to him and they leave. Leave for him to wake and feel all sore all over. it took years for him to plan his move._

_And he was going to move now._

_The man went for his arm but he was quicker. He moved to the side and grabbed the outstretched arm and he bit. He bit on the flesh tasting blood and (oh god It felt so good) the man screamed, the grip on his the needle fell. He took it. He took and he gave the man a taste of his own medicine, jabbing the needle into the man’s neck._

_The man fell, unconscious, and he grabbed the key card from the man’s pocket._

_He needed to move fast. Alarms were ringing, more men in white are coming and if the people from above knew he was trying to escape, they’d give him no mercy. He could hear people screaming, people ordering other people to find him because he was precious, he was needed, he was their experiment._

_He crawled, he hid and he ran. He had to knock a few more people unconscious with the fire extinguisher; he had to stab a couple more with the broken piece of glass. He didn’t care. He suffered enough to care and all he wanted was to run from all of this. He had enough._

_Before he knew it, there he was._

_Free._


	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry found Lou.

_  
Get out of here. Get out of here. Just fucking get out of here._

 

_“Harry!!”_

 

_Plug the key, turn the ignition – the engine runs._

 

_“Harry Styles, listen to me – your mother - this instant!”_

 

_Warming up, melting ice on the hood. Change the gear and slams the acceleration._

 

_“Harold-!”_

 

_Get the fuck out of here._

 

 

He was fuming. He couldn’t stay there any longer. It was suffocating, it was constricting, it was definitely the last straw.

 

Harry Styles thought it might work – his father would at least understand he didn’t want this, he didn’t want any of this at all – but he was  _wrong_. His father was nowhere near negotiating his options because to him, Harry Styles was his son, his protégé and that was all he ever will be. It didn’t matter that Harry had different dreams, it didn’t matter that Harry wanted a different direction for his life – no – it didn’t matter. All he sees in his son was the smart boy who would take over his empire.

 

But Harry didn’t want that.

 

He wanted to be free, to travel, to make music, to do what he was passionate about. Not stay in school for five to six or even ten years just so he could end up like his father. All cooped up in his office or laboratory, head stuck between layers of books and books, now, Harry didn’t mind books – in fact he loved reading but it wasn’t anything like the books his father was so immersed in. He loves poems; he loves literature while his father loves books written in technical words, numbers and science.

 

He did tolerate it for a while. He was an obedient child, going to an excellent private school with grades that soared the sky. But in college, after he had discovered the music club, after he met his friends, after he had performed in loads and loads of street performances or even so stage performances whenever needed – Harry realised that his dreams and his father’s dreams were different. It was two ends of a different coloured string, tied up together but never will they match. And it was no way it could work out for him anymore.

 

So he gathered up all his nerves to face his father – drove all the way out to his family home – to at least negotiate something about this whole  _heir to the fucking company_  situation and it all end up in rejection. All his proposals for his father to give up the company to his sister at least when he wanted to retire was shut completely down and thrown out of the window. Not once his father even bothered asking for his say in this and he completely tuned Harry out.

 

The reason why he had pushed his mother aside to escape the damn place. The reason why he stormed out, racing his car out of their home compound despite his mother crying by the front door.

 

Now Harry had set the car in a steady pace after slightly calming down but hands was still gripping the steering wheel tightly, knuckles turning white as he did so. It wasn’t safe to drive in such horrid icy weather with the speed that goes beyond the limit but it was hard for Harry, whenever he thought of the argument he had earlier in his father’s home office, he’d find himself stepping on the accelerator harder that he had to remind himself not to.

 

It was quiet in the car; he had settled Ed Sheeran’s cd in the player, letting it play lightly in the background. Oh how wonderful it was to be born as Ed Sheeran, Harry thought, no responsibilities such as his, no worries such as his with his father’s company – his life must’ve been wonderful. Just travelling around playing music or in the studio creating music and that was all Harry wanted. He couldn’t help but feel such envy in those people who are free to make their own decisions, paint a picture of their own journey when he was trapped in his fabricated life.

 

His thoughts were cut short when he heard a sound in a far distance, like a siren blasting through the air. It was like a prison siren, like whenever a convict had escape – not that Harry had ever experienced it in real life, it was the ones in movies, that is. That’s funny; Harry thought to himself, he didn’t remember a prison nearby the roads. The only thing he knew that was beyond the trees that lined the roads was his father’s company's laboratory. Harry only had been there once or twice and that was when he was younger. It was an all white building with electric fences surrounding it and security was tight as hell. Harry didn’t like it one bit because being in there was like being in the hospital and he hated hospitals. Nothing good every came out of it except probably a temporary escape for death.

 

There were loads of men in white, some were like hospital attendants and some were wearing lab coats, Harry recalled, they must’ve been his father’s colleagues, fellow scientists slash doctors slash nut jobs that help run his father’s pharmaceutical company. There were also loads of corridors, if he wasn’t mistaken, mind you he hadn’t been there for quiet sometime but he remembered one room with a lot of animals in cages – he hated the sight. Probably the reason why he hated that place. It wasn’t only the place where he will have his dreams crushed but it was also a place of torture for such innocent, helpless animals.

 

Yes, his father had received letters of complaint from the animal rights association but he managed to escape summon or prison when he claimed he stopped those tests ran on living animals. Harry thought it was a lie. He was pretty sure his father had them locked out somewhere in the basement or something of the damn building so no one would notice.

 

Well, whatever was going on the in that place was not his problem and the siren – well fuck it, he didn’t care.

 

His phone buzzed and Harry mentally groaned when he had accidentally press the answer button to his father. He could hear his father’s voice on the other line but instead of cancelling the call, he pressed the phone to his ear while his other hand firm on the steering wheel.

 

“Father,” he greeted into the receiver calmly but his insides, it could explode.

 

“if you think I’d still fund you after you ran off like that, you’re wrong,” he heard the older man spoke, voice threatening but yet, relatively as calm as he was, “you want to pursue that hopeless dream of yours, go ahead. But it’ll be out of your own pocket. I give till the Monday to decide before I cancel your bank accounts.”

 

And just as the line went dead, Harry didn’t have time to even bother what had been said to him because his attention had almost instantaneously been brought to a small figure in the middle of the road. He slammed his brakes with both of his feet and he could hear the tires screeching on the cold ground, the car finding it hard to stop after such speed but it managed, just mere inches from the figure’s body.

 

“Fucking shit,” Harry cursed, seeing that the boy didn’t even flinch from the near collision. He clumsily unbuckled his seat belt and threw the door open, not caring the cold air that hit his face because he was fuming, yelling, “Are you fucking mental!?

 

His anger dissipated when he saw the stunning person standing before him. As if the beauty itself radiating off the small human had just blew away all the fumes he had. Blue eyes stared at him with such suspicion – Harry couldn’t help but to find the fear in those eyes  _beautiful_. It was almost inhuman, how the blue of his eyes stood out more than anything else that’s covered in snow or it was Harry who was simply bewitched by the strange boy? He didn’t know for sure.

 

Because everything went too fast, he didn’t had the time to admire the boy when he was suddenly pushed down to the ground, the sharp edge of a broken piece of glass pressed close to his throat – ready to slice his jugular apart.

 

Harry feared this might be the end for him. He certainly didn’t see his life ending in the hands of such a mesmerizing male.  

 


	3. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry tried to bring Lou home.

It happened too quick, one moment he was hovering over the small skinny figure and the next he was pinned down to the ground, the boy straddled his torso and there was the sharp edge of the glass pressed to his neck, if the boy was to apply just a little bit more pressure, Harry’s jugular would be torn open.

 

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, putting his hands up in a surrender position. He completely ignored the pain in his back after suddenly being pushed harshly down to the tarred ground because there was this boy sitting on his chest almost slicing his throat open with a large piece of broken glass. Clearly, he has his priorities straight although his father told him otherwise.

 

“Who-whoa j-just hold on for a minute-“

 

The boy growled, literally, growled though it sounded more of a puppy rather than a wolf but Harry had no intentions on demeaning a boy who was minutes away from killing him. The boy was gripping the glass with his bare hands, making he, himself bleed form the torsion, blood oozing out for the creases of his fingers that were pressed to the sharp edge.

 

“Look, I just wanted to see if you’re okay, alright. Are you hit? I’m sorry for yelling.”

 

The smaller boy’s eyes softened and Harry swore, yes, his eyes weren’t natural. They were glowing blue, breathtaking nonetheless but there was something unnatural about it, like he was wearing lenses. Harry tried to look for the outline of those, if he was wearing lenses, but he couldn’t find it – his eyes were naturally that bright blue. It wasn’t those ones belonging to his friend, Niall, and Niall had such clear blue pools, no, this boy was… different. The correct term, yes, different.

 

Harry’s green eyes can’t seem to look away from those belonging to this boy with a makeshift-knife to his throat simply because the boy was just beautiful in every way, even when he’s minutes from taking Harry’s life.

 

Dogs barking in a distance caught blue eyes’ attention and also Harry’s.

 

“Search for him!” they heard along with the frightening sounds of probably German shepherds together with a couple whistle blows. 

 

The boy frantically got to his feet, fear returning in his eyes as he scrambled off Harry, wanting to get away because obviously, whoever those people with the ferocious sounding dogs were looking for – Harry found him. Harry coughed as the weight on his chest on throat were finally lifted off him, enabling him to breathe normally once more. He propped up his body with his elbows, eyes wondering to where the boy who was.

 

The sound of dogs barking was drawing near and the boy grew panicky. He was ready to run for it and Harry expected him to just disappear into the woods as fast as he appeared out of nowhere, but he didn’t. He suddenly crumpled to the ground and groaned in pain, arms now clutching the stomach, the piece of glass he used against Harry moments ago dropped to the tarred ground with a clank.

 

Harry should’ve just run or get into the car and speed off, leave the boy to whoever was responsible for him because he tried to slice Harry’s throat open but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t leave the boy with those pretty blue eyes alone. Maybe it was him trying to rebel everything in the world because his father wouldn’t let him be independent or maybe it was the sudden urge to protect the boy because all so sudden, he looked so damn fragile and innocent, like a child lost in a sea of people, regardless of his violent ways. Either way, Harry couldn’t just leave him.

 

The boy probably had a reason as to why he was running, just how Harry was running away from his life.

 

So Harry got up and tried to lift the boy up from under his knees and arms. The boy struggled, trashing his arms and legs trying to free himself from Harry but whatever pain he was in was making him weaker from he was earlier. Easily, Harry carried him and brought him to the back seat of his car – laying the boy gently down on the seat, ignoring how the boy scurried away from him with frightened eyes. Satisfied, Harry rushed over to the driver’s, got in and sped off, the tires creating smoke as it screeched on the road.

 

He contemplated of either bringing the boy to the hospital or back to his apartment. Neither was a good option. The hospital would surely patch him up, but bringing a possible underage boy with injuries such as this, authorities would start to question and Harry doubted the boy had any legal documents with him. That leaves his apartment, the thing was, he didn’t live alone. His roommate will go berserk finding Harry had brought a strange boy home. Zayn was already complaining about Harry picking up stray cats as pets and now, a stray human? Harry’s going to have a hard time explaining. 

 

A chocked sob coming from the back seat made Harry look trough the rear view mirror and his eyes widened when he saw that the boy was staring at his own bloodied hands in shock. Harry swerved the car to the side, off road, and stopped so he could check up on what was happening in his back seat – was the boy bleeding?

 

“Shit-“ Harry cursed seeing that the white almost hospital-like gown the boy was wearing, was soaked in fresh blood at the area below his crotch excluding the already dried blood and dirt scattered everywhere else. Harry could also see the boy’s thighs and there were blood there too, coming down from underneath the gown. Pulling out the tissues from the box he kept inside his car, Harry got out so he could go over to the back seat but as soon as he opened the door and leaned in, the boy backed away, pressing himself to the door, curling himself away from Harry’s hands.

 

“Look, I need to see that. I want to see how badly you’re bleeding-“Harry tried, voice as calm and gentle as possible.

 

The boy shook his head, backing away.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you-“Harry’s hand grabbed Th boy’s shoulder and the sound of skin slapping skin was heard.

 

The sting crept up from his cheek to the side of his head, the shock sent a sudden ringing to his ears and Harry couldn’t believe the boy had slapped him. Wow, that hurt, Harry thought bringing his hand up to the point of contact and hissed. He licked his lips and he swore he tasted blood. The boy didn’t have any sign of remorse at all on his face, just continued to stare at Harry with those eyes, daring Harry to make another move towards him because he wasn’t afraid to hurt the curly haired lad. He looked like he’d smash the car windows just so he could make himself another weapon out of the broken pieces. Of course, Harry would try to avoid that as much as possible.

 

“L-let me g-go,” a small voice spoke suddenly and Harry snapped his head towards the boy he had captive in his car, surprised that he could actually talk perfect sentences.

 

Funny, though Harry had never heard him talk before, he found the voice fitting perfectly to blue eyes.

 

“Where would you go?”Harry questioned and the boy just lowered his head, hiding his face behind his knees that he had brought up to his chest.

 

After a few minutes, the boy showed no sign of answering and Harry sighed, running his fingers through his hair, “I can’t just leave you. You’re bleeding and hurt – it just doesn’t feel right or me to leave you like that.”

 

When harry was facing the boy again, he was surprised that the boy had lifted his head once more, staring at Harry with what he believed to be confusion. Thin eyebrows furrowed to the centre, blue eyes staring right at him and yes, it didn’t look normal. The boy’s eyes didn’t look human, it was as if glowing – like something made out of glow in the dark material only it was glowing all the time in the boy’s eyes. But what bothered Harry most was why was he looking at Harry like that? He couldn’t decipher.

 

“Why?” the boy asked, catching Harry off guard.

 

“Why? Because – it’s – I don’t know. I just can’t. When I see someone hurt and needed help, I just couldn’t leave them. It didn’t feel right.”

 

“Why?” the boy tilted his head slightly and Harry couldn’t help but think – fuck – darn cute.

 

“It just doesn’t.”

 

“Why?”

 

It was Harry’s turn to look at the boy in confusion. Why what now?

 

“Why won’t you hurt me?”

 

Harry opened his mouth to answer but then, realization hit him that where ever the boy was before – he was being hurt. And it must’ve been quite awhile because he believed that everyone was on to him- to hurt him and Harry’s fists tightened as anger boiled within him. Was there such a place that tortured helpless boys till it was embedded in their heads that there wasn’t any good person in the world? 

 

There was no use to be angry now. There was nothing he could do about it. What he should focus on now was the boy in his car – getting him help.

 

“I won’t hurt you, I promise you that. Let’s make a deal, alright?”

 

The boy nodded slowly, eyes still warily watching Harry.

 

“You’ll follow me back, and I’ll check your wounds, see if you’re hurt anywhere else and patch you up, yeah? When I’m done, I’ll let you go.”

 

Harry stuck out his hand for a shake and the boy watched it, still, in suspicion. His narrowed eyes went from the hand to Harry’s face and back to Harry’s hand once more.

 

“You won’t hurt me?” the timid voice spoke again and Harry could cry from how fragile it sounded. Eyes glistening as he looked at the curly haired lad with a glint of hope, maybe, yes - hope.

 

Harry smiled, shaking his head, “I won’t. I promise.”

 

And the boy took Harry’s hand. There were dried blood and cuts on the skin and if it way any normal day Harry would be slightly freaked out but Harry didn’t mind it, not this time because he was too focused on how perfectly the small tiny hands belonging to the boy he was yet to know his name, fit in his own hands.


	4. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn isn't too keen with Harry bringing Lou home.

  
“What the actual  _fuck_.”

 

“I can explain.”

 

“You better.”

 

Zayn Malik of Bradford returned home that night from his shift at the local café, expected his night to be less eventful. He got home, took a long shower, made himself dinner – spaghetti and meatballs, not forgetting to make extra just in case his housemate returns without eating – ate, and settled his arse on the sofa watching some crappy show about dogs and it’s owners. It was a pretty chill night, until Harry returned with a boy probably no older than eighteen covered in blood and dirt.

 

If Harry had returned with a stray animal then it’ll be easier making Harry throw them out but not with a human being – Zayn wasn’t that heartless. Harry led the boy with really pretty eyes (like really pretty eyes) to the bathroom; Zayn went into the kitchen and took out the first aid kit box from one of the cabinets thinking they might need it.

 

“I need to see where you’re hurt-“he heard Harry from the bathroom before actually seeing him.

 

The boy was curled up in the empty bathtub shaking his head as Harry extended his hand to touch him. He had on Harry’s large coat covering what seemed to be a hospital gown he was wearing underneath and Zayn had to ask whether Harry had abducted him from one of those places. He needed to rule out Harry being a fucking criminal for kidnapping someone else’s kid.

 

“You are fucking crazy, of course not!” Harry defended himself.

 

“Just checking! Who knows, you probably finally gone awol from all that shit you’ve been getting from your father.”

 

Harry shook his head, pushing Zayn lightly back as the other man with olive skin and black quiffed hair chuckled. He would deal with his housemate later, he needed to find out if the boy had any active bleeding before he bled to death and Harry’s head would be on the line.

 

“What’s his name?” Zayn asked a few moments later, eyeing the boy curled up in the bathtub.

 

Harry shrugged, answering his friend since five years ago with a simple, “I don’t know.”

 

“You picked him up and you didn’t ask, idiot?”

 

“I didn’t have time to ask! We were being chased and he bled and-“

 

“Chased!? Harry Styles he better not be some convict you pick up-“

 

“He’s a child godammit, Zayn!”

 

The two older men there would continue their little argument if it wasn’t from the whimpering coming from the neglected boy in the tub. Harry inched closer to touch his shoulder only ended up with him getting thrown back onto the floor with a thud. Once again, it was a familiar position, the boy was on top of him ready for hit and the boy’s eyes were glowing now as his fist reached up, preparing to knock Harry out.

 

“Don’t  _touch_  me! I won’t let anyone touch me! Not anymore!” the boy warned towards the man he had pinned underneath his small body, voice cracking.

 

“Hey, hey- look, my friend just wanted to see if you’re okay!” Zayn intervened before the boy could throw a punch at Harry’s face.

 

“Don’t touch me!” the boy repeated, eyeing Zayn, now suspiciously, “I don’t-! I don’t like to be touched-“the boy’s voice suddenly return to its fragile and broken state while his eyes dimmed, but his hand was still at the ready – not afraid and he will attack at anyone who would come at him.

 

“We won’t, we  _won’t_. Ain't that right, Harry?”

 

Harry nodded his hands still up by his sides. Both men could see the tears pooling in the boy’s eyes and the way he was trembling. He looked smaller than he wanted to be. The poor boy was terrified; he didn’t mean to hurt anyone as he only did it in order of self defense. Harry’s heart twisted in a weird manner – a suddenly urge to protect this unknown stranger before him.

 

“I’m Zayn. I’m not sure if Harry had introduced himself yet but he’s Harry,” Zayn tried a different approach, his arms open wide, “what’s your name?”

 

The boy blinked as if Zayn had hit something within him and his eyebrows suddenly scrunched to the middle. It was a simple question but the boy looked like he was finding it hard to answer.

 

“I don’t- I don’t remember.”

 

A tear escaped from one of the boy’s eyes when he blinked again and the tear- it wasn’t clear water like a normal human would produce; it was blue, glowing crystal blue, just like how his eyes were. It trailed down his cheek leaving a non-coloured wet trail just like any tear would despite of its abnormal colour. This boy was certainly something else. Something special. Something…  _different_  that it sparked curiosity within the two men.

 

“What are you?” Harry had to ask, seeing something out of the ordinary unfold before his eyes.

 

The boy shook his head, face crumpling up as more tears began to shed which he quickly covered up with his tiny hands, “I don’t kn-know.”

 

Zayn knelt before the boy who was sitting on Harry’s torso and he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a hug and for once since Harry met him, the boy didn’t push away or struggled instead, he completely broke down crying within Zayn’s arms. A sudden pang of jealousy hit his chest and he clenched his teeth, Harry was the one that found the boy – rescued him – and he was warming up more towards Zayn that he was towards his savior! This wasn’t fair, Zayn only complained ever since Harry brought him home, why the fuck does he get to give him a hug!?

 

“Um, guys if you can just get off me, that’d be nice, thanks” Harry called catching the attention of the two and Zayn lifted the boy up like he was a feather – so darn light.

 

Zayn placed the boy gently on the toilet. Unlike how he was earlier, the boy seemed pliant. Probably it was all the running he had done from the ones that were aftering him and all the emotional stress of being brought home by a stranger, meeting another stranger in the bathroom. It must’ve drained the boy off his energy.

 

“I’ll go fix some hot tea, Harry, you help him clean up alright,” Zayn said, getting up and leaving the room to the other two. Harry was glad he left, he couldn’t take all of these jealousy that he didn’t know why was happening.

 

Harry scooted closer once more towards the boy and knelt infront of him. Showing his large hands, Harry asked permission on whether he could touch him now and the boy nodded, allowing Harry to patch him up.

 

Harry started by taking the coat Harry gave him off, revealing the dirty while material underneath. Harry then went on asking the boy whether he could take the gown off and he nodded so Harry helped him with it.  Harry expected the boy wearing his boxers or briefs but he wasn’t – he had a stark naked boy with him in the bathroom and Harry couldn’t help but blush. The boy however seemed unfazed, he was staring at the wall directly behind Harry with blank eyes that he didn’t notice how Harry was looking at him. Well, before he could notice, Harry was looking away, coughing awkwardly.

 

The boy was gorgeous, he wasn’t all bones just how Harry would imagine people from the hospital or some sort would look like. He had a bit of meat around his waist and a slight tummy and when he stood up to get into the tub, Harry noticed how perfectly engineered his arse was – but Harry wasn’t gay, no way, right? He has a love interest – yes, love interest, not girlfriend – so he couldn’t possibly be attracted to men now, right? Right?

 

Harry slapped himself mentally for staring to long. He was glad that the boy didn’t notice. He took note of the trail of dried blood running down the boy’s thighs before he began checking whether there were any big wounds on the boy’s body. He has cuts on his palms from holding the sharp material he used as a weapon earlier. He also had scratch marks over his left forearm and Harry noticed that there were multiple puncture wounds, probably made by needles, at the junction between his forearm and arm. It was bluish bruised and some were even dark in colour, indicating it had been there for a long time.

 

Harry gently grabbed the boy’s other arm to see if there were anything similar, and yes, there was. Was the boy sick? Were the people trying to inject medicine in him? Then Harry noticed something he hadn’t earlier hanging around the boy’s right wrist – a tag. Almost like a hospital tag but it was written just a simple name on it with a black marker pen –  _Lou –_ and nothing else.

 

“Lou,” Harry whispered to himself before moving his eyes to meet the boy’s, “Lou. Is that your name?”

 

The boy’s eyebrows furrowed to the middle as if the name itself sounded familiar to him.

 

“Yes. They called me that.”

 

“They? Lou, who are-“

 

Harry was cut off when Louis suddenly gasped in pain, his hands rubbing irritatingly at his stomach. It was happening again, like it did earlier before Harry had brought him into the car. This time though Harry went into the tub and caught him before he hits the ground. Harry lay back onto the tub, Lou on top of him. he held the boy close, he didn’t know why – he started planting kisses on the side of Lou’s face, thinking it’d ease the pain and calm the boy down but it didn’t so Harry started to panic.

 

“Lou!? Lou, what’s the matter!?” he asked, worried and half shouting.

 

The boy or Lou just grunted in pain, eyes squeezed shut and the dried up tears were forming again, escaping between his closed lids.

 

“Ha-Harry, it hurts- _agh_ -!”  
  


Harry looked down in between Lou’s spread legs and could see blood coming out of him, staining the whitish marble of the tub. The blood wasn’t from any open wounds, no, not from any wounds anywhere on him but from  _within_  him. Within the boy’s small’s body, like he was bleeding from inside itself. Harry’s eyes grew wide when he saw something like a blob of blood clot being expulsed out, along with a lot more blood. Once the blob came completely out of him, Lou let out one loud chocked sob before going lax, all the muscles in his body paralysed as he fell completely limp, unconscious, on top of the curly haired man and all Harry could do next was scream for Zayn. 


	5. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Zayn debated on what to do next

It was starting to rain out. The sky darkened and the temperature dropped severely with the growling of thunder. Within minutes, water began to drop and everyone who wasn’t in shelter ran to find cover. Inside their little apartment, Zayn ignored brewing storm outside because all he could hear was the sound of his fellow flat mate gagging and throwing up his previous meal into the toilet bowl. Harry had always been the easily queasy type; the reason why he couldn’t stand medical school. A dead body prepared for him to dissect with his group mates and the curly haired boy would be the first one to faint.

 

So it was no wonder when the boy he had picked up – rescued, more precisely – from  the street had expelled blood and thick blood clots, it was Zayn who had to clean up after because as soon as Harry handed the limp boy to Zayn, he headed straight for the toilet bowl. Considered himself lucky Harry didn’t pass out on him or Zayn would have to deal with two unconscious people.

 

Now, Zayn wasn’t too keen in the idea of cleaning up something of that sort but what else could they do? Call the cleaning lady with a big mole on her face? No way. A nosy woman she is, plus she couldn’t shut her trap if it meant saving the world. Zayn was sure the whole block would hear a story of the two young lads down stairs who had period blood in their tub –  _if_  it was period blood but that’s ridiculous because Lou was a boy. There was no way he had fucking menstrual cramps and  _fainted_  and left all his blood in the tub, right?

 

The boy with thick lashes and big brown eyes thought very little of it, of the possibility that Lou could be a transverstite – he set his mind on cleaning Lou and cleaning the blood up. And after he did, he clothed Lou in Harry’s shirt and boxers (which were too big for him and it made him look like a child) (no, Zayn didn’t find him cute – no – okay maybe a little bit adorable but whatever). He then laid the boy in bed and pulled the covers over him, not once the boy woke, just heavy-sounded breathing as he slept.

 

The door of the bathroom creaked open and out came Harry with face pale as a ghost, hair unruly, curls sticking out everywhere and he just looked overall sick as hell. He staggered over to where Zayn was, sitting on the bedside that wasn’t occupied by Lou and sat gently down as to not make any movements that could wake the boy up.

 

“Harry,” Zayn spoke, catching Harry’s attention. All the while he had been staring at the sleeping boy admiring everything that was small and pretty about him, Zayn had to call him twice, “Harry, we need the police.”

 

Harry widened his eyes like Zayn had given him the most ridiculous suggestion ever, “What-  _no_ -“

 

“He’s got a barcode tattoo on the back of his neck, Harry, what child has that? Unless he’s part of a sex trade or some shit and he was bleeding because of the abuse! The police can help him!”

 

“A sex trade?” Harry quirked a brow, “A sex trade with a  _hospital_  gown and a tag too?”

 

“I don’t know maybe the clients are into some kinky shit with those things the hell would I know! Okay, let’s say your theory was that he was from some hospital, and why can’t we tell the police even if that’s the reason? They can still help!”

 

“Zayn, you honestly think that Lou is a normal human being?”

 

Zayn shook his head and looked at Harry in disbelief, “Wait-  _Lou_?”

 

“His name on the tag-“

 

Before Harry could continue, Zayn held both of his shoulders and gave him a stern look, “ _Harry_. You don’t learn their names! When you do, You’ll get…  _attached_. The sooner we get him to the police, the less chances you might develope feelings for him.”

 

“I’m not handing him over to the police,” Harry pressed, “Lou isn’t like you and me, you saw his eyes, you saw his tears – and you saw- you saw what came out of him- they might hand him over to the government and you know what they’ll do! He’ll become some sort of a national experiment or something.“

 

“It was a blood clot, Harry! He was abused!”

 

“Well I think otherwise!”

 

Zayn sighed in defeat, dropping his hands and sat at the edge of the bed. Harry on the other hand wasn’t about to give up from getting his point across.

 

“Zayn, you remember the story I told you – well,  _Niall_  told you – about me when we were posted in the obstetrics’ clinics last year? About that lady who had a miscarriage right infront of my eyes?”

 

A laugh erupted form the boy with olive skin. Oh he remembered the comic coming out of Niall’s face when he reenacted the fainting episode their tall lanky friend with curly hair had when he saw all the blood. Upon fainting he even hit his head hard on the ground causing a bruise that stayed for weeks there, Harry becoming the laughing stock of his class – how can Zayn forget? It’ll be the story he’ll tell his grandchildren!

 

“How can I forget, you little wimp!”

 

“Shut up, tosser,” Harry smacked Zayn’s head, “anyway before I fainted I saw what came out of her-“

 

“Of course you did, you wouldn’t have lost it if you didn’t.”

 

Another smack to the head and this time Zayn replied with a hit to Harry’s knee - the taller lad nearly tumbling down to the ground but maintained his posture by flailing his arms and scowled.

 

“Will you fucking shut up and let me finish!? So – oh, before that, fuck  _you,_  that hurt– as I recalled, she was approximately four weeks pregnant and what came out of her because she was wearing a skirt was exactly, like what came out of Lou!”

 

Although the idea seemed more ridiculous than the earlier theory Harry had came up that Louis was an alien, Zayn didn’t laugh like he did before. Instead he stared at Harry with eyebrows to the middle and mouth slightly open, definitely looking at Harry like he had absolutely lost it because yeah, he sounded like that.

 

He crossed his arms, and scoffed, “well Haz, I may not be in medical school since I’m not smart enough but um, as I can recall  in my secondary years that you need to have a uterus to get pregnant and um- let me see, you find uterus in  _females_  and I remembered shagging a few girls before and they definitely didn’t have a penis and such - does  _he -_ , “Zayn pointed towards Lou, “- look like a fucking girl to you!?” because yeah Harry and Zayn definitely saw Lou’s manhood alright despite his pretty girly features, the boy was, well, a  _boy_.

 

Zayn even finished the sentence with a loud, “You’re fucking mental, Harry,” and before the other lad could reply, a small groan was heard from the sleeping body on the bed. They were too caught up in their heated argument slash debating on what Lou was and how to deal with him that they didn’t realise their voices were slowly increasing in intensity as time went by thus, waking the sleeping boy up.

 

Harry clambered to Lou’s side, kneeling right next so that his head was almost (almost because he was just so damn tall) at the same level where Lou was lying down. Zayn just turned his body, scooting closer so he could see the boy with mysterious eyes – he did not want the boy to be here but it didn’t stop him from thinking the boy was beautiful and that he just wanted to stare at him all day.

 

“Hey, Lou,” Harry spoke, voice as small and gentle as he could, not wanting to scare Lou. He had one hand over Lou’s head just caressing the soft almost feather –like hair, “how are you feeling?”  
  


 

The boy opened his eyes and yes, Harry and Zayn could see it, the slight glow in them as his eyelids separated and he was looking at his surrounding with caution. His body tensed but when he felt how soft the mattress was, how gentle Harry was touching him and how he had concerned eyes on him instead of those filled with lust, desire and hatred he felt watching all the time when he was in that place – Lou relaxed, letting himself fall back on to the comforts of Harry’s bed.

 

“Better,” he replied simply. His lips twitched and there it was – a smile.

 

It felt foreign for Lou himself as he didn’t remember the last time he smiled but to both Harry and Zayn, it was the sweetest, prettiest smile they had ever seen on such a boy with destruction and pain carved on his body.

 

Harry and Zayn returned the smile, now, Zayn’s hand finding its way to the boy’s hair to gently caress it. Somehow, regardless of what he said just now, his fondness towards Lou – a boy he just met hours ago – was visible. It was probably the fact of how small and frail Lou was it just made the two older lads wanting to snuggle and hug him to death.

 

Moments of silence went on until Harry decided to speak up, “Um, Zayn thought of bringing you to the doctors and have you checked up a little bit and then to the police so we can help you find your way back – wherever you wanted to go-“

 

The mention of the word  _doctors_  sent the calm boy trembling once more that he didn’t hear anything else after that because doctors only meant painful injections and cruel examinations on him for years that he was terrified, it was embedded in his head that when a so-called doctor would come to visit him in his little cell, it’ll end up with him getting hurt and crying himself to sleep. Even now, when he was away from that building he called hell, those memories were able to cause a mini panic attack in him.

 

“No!” he screamed out, jolting up from his lying position, “No, No, please,  _no_ , they’ll hurt me, they’ll hurt me and they’ll take me back, please, I don’t want to go back-“

 

Harry pulled the boy to his embrace, holding him close to his chest as the boy cried and begged them not to bring him to the doctors. While he soothed Lou with comforting words promising him that they won’t just so he would calm down, Harry gave a look to Zayn that was as if telling him that there was no way Harry was going to hand Lou over to the authorities – he was going to get to the bottom of this  _himself_.

 

 


	6. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou tells Harry what he was.

 

Harry couldn’t sleep that night. He and Zayn had stayed by Lou’s side until he was asleep once more and it wasn’t that long waiting for the younger boy’s breathing to even, his eyes closed, his face returned to its serene composure like before he was rudely awaken by the two lad’s argument. It’s such wonder looking at Lou’s face – how dark circles and bruises by his lips made him appear much older – Harry couldn’t help but wonder when was the last time he had a good night’s sleep? Or when was the last time he actually felt safe? Where did he come from? How- or what is he?

 

Zayn gave up for the night, not bothered bringing up the argument again or trying to answer Harry’s questions because he honestly didn’t know. So he excused himself and retreated to his bedroom for the night. Harry on the other hand lay awake on the sofa and sometimes, his gaze would fall by the opened door of his room just to make sure Lou was still asleep. And indeed he was every time. That should put Harry’s mind to ease right? That Lou was sleeping.  _Wrong_. His thoughts swam in possibilities- good or bad – and at one point it ached because he was thinking too much.

 

He was actually contemplating of sending Lou to the hospital just to check whether the boy needed any stitches anywhere or whether he was bleeding internally but if he did, Lou didn’t have any papers with him and in the end, the police would be involved. Harry didn’t want that because they’d take Lou away and Harry’s main concern was that Lou would fall in the wrong hands (including some people in the government). Lou might not get the best treatment if he was handed over to a bunch of people that has a great disregard for Lou’s best interest.

 

Another thing that was keeping him awake all night was him and his sudden burst affection towards Lou. He had never cared deeply for someone he just met, moreover someone he picked up from the streets but when he looks at Lou all he saw was a child, broken and scared and alone – Harry just wanted to help him. That’s right, his intentions were good, it was only to help Lou. There was nothing more to it because Harry wasn’t attracted to the boy, physically, heck he was straight (so he thought).

 

Harry tried to sleep with his face in the pillows, didn’t work. He tried covering his whole body with his blanket, failed too. Then he tried to sleep on the floor, well, it was too hard, his back was hurting like fuck so he ended up on the sofa again. Harry groaned, scratching his head irritatingly – obviously annoyed by his brain that didn’t want rest. He went and made tea for himself, instead of sleeping, he needed to pee after. It was nearly four am when he finally fell asleep, only to be woken up just a few hours later when Zayn was leaving for his part-time.

 

He groaned, rolling off the sofa, falling with a thud. Zayn just shook his head leaving Harry groaning and moaning about how he couldn’t sleep last night because he was over thinking. Well, Zayn thought he could deal with Harry later but now he was late for work.

 

With the sun shining from outside in through the window of their living room directly hitting his face, Harry gave up on trying to continue his slumber. It was a Saturday after all and Saturdays meant late nights and naps. Maybe, since he was awake early he could make a nice breakfast for himself, go for a little jog around the neighbourhood (it was nice and chilly) then he’d study for a bit. But then he remembered he need not worry about studying anymore since he decided to quit med school –  _oh shit_  – he just recalled that his father gave him till Monday to decide on whether to continue or have his funds cut off. Harry ended up hitting his head over and over to the floor making loud thudding noises that echoed through their small apartment, since he was like a little puddle that had solidified due time and was stuck to the ground unless removed his heavy duty stain remover.

 

After about twenty minutes of making a mess of his own thoughts – rolling around and pulling at his hair – Harry decided he needed to calm down. Make breakfast and tea, and just fucking calm down. As he walked to the kitchen, he saw his bedroom door was still open and a small body was still lying there, asleep. Harry actually went to check on whether Lou was still breathing, and he was, Harry let out a sigh of relief. He was worried if Lou had really passed out from some sort of shock and he needed to bring him to the hospital, but he wasn’t so Harry proceeded to kitchen once more.

 

The smell of bacon and eggs soon filled the air. Harry was toasting bread and boiling the water for tea when he heard small footsteps coming nearer to where he was. Lou was awake. All cute and cuddly – sleepy eyes that could barely open, messy bed hair and wearing Harry’s massive clothes – Harry wanted to hug him all day. Yeah, it was hard to believe that this small being tried to kill Harry twice and probably had killed someone before Harry found him yesterday.

 

“Good morning, Lou,” Harry greeted him, loving the way Lou’s name roll on his tongue, “slept well?”

 

 

Lou nodded, rubbing his eyes and yawned. He really looked like a small child probably fifteen or seventeen tops. A little grumble was heard coming from Lou’s stomach and the boy widened his eyes, a blush creeping his cheeks as he covered his tummy with his hands.

 

Harry chuckled, “hungry, babe?”

 

Lou looked away and nodded. Why was he so shy about it, Harry couldn’t tell – he just found it so adorable?

 

Harry left the bacon on the pan to finish the final crisp and walked over to the smaller body standing awkwardly next to the kitchen island. He placed both of his hands on Lou’s shoulder, noticing how the boy visibly jump and winced at the contact. Despite ensuring Lou how he was in safe hands, the boy was still slightly edgy around both Harry and Zayn, but there was progression – he wasn’t trying to kill Harry this time, and Harry was glad for that.

 

“How about you sit,” Harry helped him over the bar stool, helping him up to place his bum on the seat. Harry had to lift him up a little bit because he was just so small (harry wanted to squeeze him as he was so goddamned small everywhere). Lou looked at Harry once he was comfortably seated with doe eyes that Harry could stare at all day.

 

“I’ll make you some tea and we’ll have breakfast, okay?”

 

Lou tilted his head to the side and he was making the cutest confused expression ever, “tea?”

 

Harry’s jaw dropped. Was there really a person that hasn’t tasted or know what tea was?

 

“Yeah, tea. Do you know what it is?” Lou shook his head, his hair falling to one side, revealing how beautifully unreal his blue eyes were.

 

“It’s a drink, a really nice drink. Here I’ll make it for you.”

 

Harry turned his back to Lou so he could make the Yorkshire Tea Zayn had gotten from his sister. He made it just nice with two teaspoons of sugar, tasting it before handing one mug to the boy waiting with curious eyes on him.

 

“Drink slowly now, it’s hot,” Harry warned, carefully placing it in between Lou’s small hands (such small hands dammit).

 

Lou blew the steam and started sipping on the drink. His eyes widened and he licked his lips before taking another sip. Then stopping abruptly, putting the glass down.

 

“Ow,” he exclaimed, poking out his tongue and flapping his hands at it.

 

“I told you it’s hot, silly!” Harry said, grabbing a glass of cool water and giving it to Lou, the boy immediately and gulping all of it down in attempt to cool his mouth, tongue and throat down.

 

“Sorry,” Lou muttered out quietly, “it was good. Thank you.”

 

Harry smiled, happy on seeing Lou liking his tea, “You’re welcome. Now, let’s have breakfast. “

 

Harry wasn’t actually surprised on seeing how Lou was gobbling up the food he served like he had never eaten anything before. Lou wasn’t skinny as Harry had noticed first – but the way he was eating Harry’s cooking, widening his eyes now and then and going ‘mmmh, yummy’ from time to time – Harry was starting to wonder what he had been eating all these years. He was English, Harry could tell by the accent, but how was it that he never had tea? He was sure hospitals served tea if Lou really was from there and he was sure hospital food aren’t that bad, they’re healthy.

 

He waited till Lou had finished his food, pushing his empty plate slightly away from his and covered his mouth as a little burp escaped. Harry laughed lightly at the adorable expression and how red Lou became after realising he just released gas. He saw Harry laughing and he started to giggle and fuck at that moment Harry realised that was the cutest thing he had ever heard. The way Lou’s eyes just turned like little rainbows because his smile was just too wide, as a straight guy even (keep telling himself that), Harry thought Lou was extremely gorgeous.

 

After breakfast Lou helped Harry with the clean up. Harry wanted to leave the kitchen a mess and make Zayn clean it up later but Lou insisted on cleaning, not wanting to cause any trouble. Of course, he couldn’t just make Lou clean up all by himself, he wasn’t even sure if Lou was fully well. So in the end, he did the dishes while Lou dried them off and place them back into their respective cabinets.

 

Once they were done, Harry tugged on Lou’s wrist gently, helping him settle on the sofa while he turned the telly on. The boy seemed lost, he looked uncomfortable and he was fidgeting when he sat. He kept looking around the room, probably plotting another way to kill Harry or Zayn, Harry thought, but shook it away, like seriously what the hell is wrong with him? can’t he have normal thoughts now?

 

“They only let me watch telly once a week,” Lou suddenly muttered, eyes locking with Harry and Zayn’s shared twenty nine inch.

 

There it was again. The itch. The itch Harry had just begging Harry to ask Lou on who he was,  _what_  he was. But he knew he couldn’t pressure the boy much, he didn’t want Lou to get upset because he was obviously running from someone, someone who had hurt him before he escaped. He didn’t want Lou to go all sad and crying again just to satisfy his curiosity. But he had to ask. He needed to know if he wanted to help Lou.

 

“Um, Lou,” Lou tore his eyes away from the telly to look at Harry, “who are  _they_?”

 

Harry could see the way Lou’s eyes just lost its twinkle, it fade darker as the smile he had on earlier disappeared. There was silence for a moment as Lou just stared blankly into Harry’s face, not actually looking at him, like he was lost in his own thoughts, like he was remembering something that haunted him. It was then he blinked, Harry could see the way his hands were shaking as he spoke.

 

“The men in white,” Lou said, voice as small as a whisper, “they follow orders from the doctors.”

 

“What-what did they do to you, Lou?”Harry pushed slowly, a hand on Lou’s thigh in attempt to comfort him.

 

Lou blinked again. He pulled his lower lip with his teeth, biting on it until it bleeds then he stopped and a tear escaped. Harry leaned in, thumbing the tear away and watch as Lou just looked so confused as to why Harry was being so nice. Lou was just not used to it.

 

“They put something in me,” Lou’s hand went to his lower stomach and he squeezed his fingers so that the nails were digging into the clothes he was wearing, “right here.” Harry’s eyes darted to where Lou’s hand were - his lower abdomen.

 

“I am their experiment, Harry.”

 


	7. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou meets Niall and Harry discovers strange butterflies in his stomach around Lou.

arry sighed as he placed the mug of tea down on the kitchen counter. He was sitting on the barstool at the counter dividing the kitchen and the living room, from where he was sitting, he could see little Lou sitting on the floor, eyes trained on the telly as he concentrated at the yellow sponge going around making a fool out of himself and his starfish friend. It’s been almost two hours Louis had been sitting like that. Eyes wide with a blank expression, his legs to the sides and his arms placed infront of him – like a little child (because he is like Harry concluded) - watching the daytime series.  
  


 

Pain erupted from the left side of his head and Harry went over to one of the drawers, taking out his migraine pills, dunking two down his throat, dry. As relief began to conquer once more, enabling him to see, Harry padded back to his seat and sat on it, covering his face with his hands. His mind couldn’t stop going over and over again, replaying Lou’s face and Lou’s voice as he told Harry of where he came from.  
  


 

It all didn’t make sense to him, and it was starting to hurt his head like fucking hell. The fact is, it wasn't just mind boggling but it was in fact –  _hair rising_. He tried to make sense of it but in the end he got scared. How many are they that are like Lou? Experiments? How many have died during trial? How many children-  
  


 

Harry had to stop or he would cry again. He nearly cried seeing how Lou fell apart in front of him. Fluorescent almost radioactive kind of blue tears spilling from his abnormally blue eyes. Harry deduced Lou wasn’t an alien or any extraterrestrial being for that matter – he was human. It must’ve been all those experiments, tests  _et cetera_  that had been run on him that made him almost inhumanly  _gorgeous_.  As the boy trembled in his arms, crying upon recalling terrifying moments he was held at this place – this place even Lou didn’t know the name of – Harry told him that he was safe, he was nowhere near those men in white and those doctors, and if they ever decided to come near Lou again, Zayn and him would be the shit out of them, anything at all just so the boy would stop crying. Eventually he did and Harry changed to the cartoon channel for Lou to watch and since then, Lou hadn’t move. It was sort of a good thing, at least he wasn’t crying.  
  


 

Now Harry was left in his own dilemma. How was he to protect Lou? How was he to get out of this?  
  


 

His thoughts were interrupted as the doorbell rang. Lou scrambled off from where he was sitting to where Harry ways, hiding behind the taller, older lad when he stood up to open the door. A sense of warmness filled his heart when Lou did this, he was somewhat  _proud_  that Lou was looking at him for security, making his protective side shine.  
  


 

“Don’t worry, Lou, it’s just the door,” Harry tried to calm the boy down seeing that he was watching Harry’s movements with wide eyes. Lou responded by gripping the shirt Harry had on tightly, cowering his small body behind him and Harry just gently ruffled the boy’s hair, ensuring him it was alright. He lead Lou back to the sofa, in front of the telly, and made sure that he sat comfortably before Harry was to answer the door but Harry could see at the corner of his eyes, Lou poking his head out of curiosity from the sofa seat.  
  


 

Harry went to unlatch the door and opening, all he could hear next was - “I’ve got pizza!”  
  


 

Before Harry even had enough time to digest what was happening, he was being pushed aside and a blonde head entered carrying two boxes of pizzas (pepperoni, Harry guessed from the smell).  
  


 

“You could’ve called first, Nialler,” Harry said closing the door behind him and watching as the lad who was at the same age as him with bright blue eyes placed the food on the kitchen counter.  
  


 

“What’s the fun in that?” Nialler or Niall laughed, “Where’s Zaynie?”  
  


 

“Have you forgotten? He works on a Saturday.”  
  


 

“Oh yeah,” the other boy shrugged, his mouth into an ‘O’, “oh, well more pizzas for me! Come on,pop a movie in and- OH!”

 

 

It seems like Niall had noticed the head that was coming from behind the sofa staring at them curiously. Immediately the head ducked, disappearing behind the sofa seat. Niall was always excited to meet someone new, he was excited when he met Harry in medical school, he couldn’t stop messing with Harry’s curls – because he was Niall and Niall was hyper and happy like his colours – and he was fucking excited when he saw Lou. Before Harry could warn him of Lou’s social anxiety that resulted from his past abuse (Harry concluded), the Irishman skipped over happily to the hiding one – scaring him,  _alerting_ him.  
  


 

Lou slapped Niall across the face before he could touch him or say anything causing the unsuspecting boy to fall to the ground. He then reached over for the vase that was on the side table (Harry’s mother insisted decorating her son’s apartment), he raised it up above his and Niall’s head, and just before he could crack Niall’s skull with it, Harry intervened, coming right in front of Lou, stopping him from his further intentions.  
  


 

“Lou! No! No, Niall’s a friend! Niall’s a friend!”  
  


 

The boy with abnormally mesmerizing blue eyes was breathing hard through his nose; Harry could see he was clenching his teeth – ready to hurt anyone daring to touch him.  
  


 

“Lou, baby,” Harry tried once more, bringing his hand forward, “Niall won’t hurt you. You trust me, don’t you?”  
  


 

Lou nodded shakily, tears were beginning to pool in his eyes but he still had the vase up.  
  


 

“Come on, babe; put the vase down, right? Niall won’t hurt you, I promise. Come on, babe, there’s no need to cry. Everything’s fine. Everything is fine, no one is angry at you-”  
  


 

Harry had to dive to catch the vase, stopping it from crashing onto the ground breaking the glass as Lou just simply let it go, just like that. He placed the vase back to its original position and walked over to Lou once more, engulfing him in a hug. The boy didn’t cry, the tears were already dried and he was eyeing Niall suspiciously, still, as the latter was getting up, rubbing his sore cheek.  
  


 

“What the fuck, Haz?” Niall finally spoke, utterly confused on what just happened moments ago. He was happily bringing pizza for lunch and suddenly he was being slapped across the face then nearly having his skull spilt open.  
  


 

“Nialler, this is Lou and  _Lou_ , this is Niall,” Harry tried to lighten the mood up by introducing them casually but Lou just wouldn’t take Niall’s extended hand to shake, instead he just moved up behind Harry, only part of his face visible as he eyed Niall suspiciously.  
  


 

“Uh, Haz,  _where_  did you find this guy?” Niall meant it as a joke; he certainly didn’t expect to hear Harry explaining how he found Lou was by the roadside being chased by a couple of guard looking people with their ferocious canines. And he certainly wasn’t ready to hear about how Lou almost killed Harry too when they first met and how he was practically oozing out blood  _and_  how he just told Harry he was an experiment. He really couldn’t hide anything from Niall, the blonde might look like someone daft, but he was observant. He would soon notice how Lou’s eyes were abnormally blue and how sometimes his tears were fluorescent blue plus his face and body covered in bruises – Harry was bound to explain it later so might as well let it be now. And yes, he trusted the lad because even if he didn’t look so, Niall was  _trustworthy_.  
  


 

Harry expected the lad to react how Zayn would – by freaking out – but what Niall did was just stared unbelievably at the two (Lou and Harry) for a moment before going, “ _Oh_ ,” and that was it.  His face brightened up again. He suddenly turned and walked towards the kitchen counter. He grabbed a box of pizza, opening it, releasing the alluring smell of pepperoni, cheese, tomato sauce and well, dough – baked to perfection. He walked back over to where Lou and Harry were - still smiling - he took a slice and offered to the boy hiding behind Harry’s tall stature.  
  


 

“Have you had pizza before, Lou?” Niall said softly, trying to lure Lou with the aroma of the Italian cuisine.  
  


 

Lou was tempted, Niall could see from his face but he was still suspicious – that, Niall could tell too. Lou look up at Harry with wide eyes, silently asking harry whether it was okay or more accurately whether it was  _safe_  and Harry nodded, gesturing him forward to take it.    
  


 

Timidly, Lou emerged from his hiding spot and stepped forward, bringing out a trembling hand to take the pizza and Niall gladly handed it over. Lou inspected it for a bit, looking at it from top to bottom then sniffing it, making Harry chuckle at how adorable the boy was being. He then brought it to his mouth and took a small bite – his eyes widened abruptly from the revelation. Soon, he was gobbling up the whole slice, Harry and Niall watched as the boy ate – it appeared that Lou never had pizza before – he ate the slice like how he ate Harry’s breakfast, like it was the most delicious thing he ever tasted. When he was done, he sucked on his fingers, blushed furiously after noticing that there were two older lads watching him eat.  
  


 

Lou bit his lips and looked up at Harry, gesturing for the taller lad to bend down. Harry did and quickly whispered words into his ears. Harry chuckled after he had finished and said, “Why don’t you ask him yourself, Lou?”  
  


 

Lou fidgeted for a moment before facing to turn to Niall once more, all shy and cute looking. He bit his lip nervously before finally opening his mouth to speak – voice small and timid, “C-Can I please have another pi-pizza?”  
  


 

“‘Course!”Niall smiled at Lou fondly, he couldn’t stop thinking how cute he was, how could he resist such pretty eyes and face? He took another slice from the box and handed over to Lou, who took it gratefully, muttering thank you before the slice was in his mouth.  
  


 

“There’s plenty more, don’t be shy to ask,” Niall said, messing the boy’s hair and this time, the boy didn’t try to kill him. He smiled brightly at Harry, like he had accomplished something (hey, Lou didn’t try to kill him this time, it was an achievement!).  
  


 

“Alright, let’s get some movie playing,” Harry announced at last and they all huddled infront of the telly. Niall had ‘Tron’ playing and settled himself on the armchair while Harry had Lou by his side, no they weren’t cuddling but they were quiet close to each other. Though Harry was the cuddling type, he was sure Lou wasn’t ready to get as comfy as  _that_  with him.  
  


 

Overall, having Niall over was a nice change, especially with having Lou too. The only thing that bothered Harry was the way his heart fluttered, his stomach jumping from its initial position when he saw Lou smiling for the very first time.


	8. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry digs around and wished he didn't.

 

Harry don’t usually wake up early on Sundays, but this time he needed to and the fact that he was finding it hard to sleep made it much easier to get up from the bed. He decided that while Zayn was available at home to babysit Lou, he oughta go do some Sherlock Holmes work about the little boy asleep on his bed.

 

He prepared everything, breakfast and tea for Zayn and Lou, so that there won’t be any hassle between them while he was out but to be honest, it was more of worrying whether Lou would eat or not and if Harry cooks, Lou would surely eat. After finishing most of the pizza yesterday with Niall, the blue eyed boy could even wallop up another set of dinner Harry had prepared for them. Niall left soon after and Zayn returned a little too late with only evidence there was pizza were the crumbs, so Harry had to cook – more like he wanted to cook – for the two.

 

“I still think we should go to the police,” Zayn said over the cup of tea, glancing over to Harry’s room where the door was open and a small body slept soundly under the covers.

 

Harry sighed, “Spend on day with him and you tell me whether we should really hand him to the police.”

 

“You’re crazy.”

 

“I’m doing the right thing.”

 

“Harry, he’s not a kitten or a puppy you can just take out from the streets!” the other lad dejected, letting out an exasperated sigh, “pretty soon he’s bound to need the hospital at some point and bloody papers, Harry! He doesn’t have any papers with him; we can’t keep him here in hiding forever!”

 

“Look, I’ll sort it out, kay? I just need to go do this for a moment, you stay here and  _well_ , take care of him, make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”

 

Zayn quirked a brow at Harry’s little statement, obviously still skeptical about the whole ‘sorting this shit out’. Harry was a smart one, yes, though a little squeamish around blood and gore, he was in the makings of a good doctor because he was sensible, logical, rational, but  _this_ , Zayn didn’t see any rationale about keeping a kid with no valid identification papers, weird features (beautiful but still out of this world) and seem to know nothing normal(just yesterday he was asking Zayn what was football about).And one thing was for sure, if Harry is determined at something, he’d go and accomplish it. There was no stopping him if he had his mind set on something so Zayn had to admit defeat in this.

 

“Alright, better solve it, Styles, before  _you_  get too attached.”

 

“Pfft, what do you mean  _me_?”

 

Zayn shrugged getting up from his seat to grab the toast that just popped out of the toaster to go with the bacon Harry had fried earlier for him, “Because you get attached to things, animals, anything at all easily.”

 

“No, I don’t,” Harry retorted back, putting on the white converse he got last year.

 

“Right. Remember Smittens, hmm? That little kitten you found, kept for two weeks then her real owner showed up, took her away and you cried for three days-“

 

“- Alright, alright! I get it, shut it! Get rid of Lou before I develop any feelings for him yada-yada-yada, I got it!” Harry flailed his arms once he was done putting on his shoes and walked to the door opening it, “I’ll see you both in an hour or so.”

 

“Alright, lover boy,”Zayn snickered and laughed to himself but his remark earned him a shoe to his head. Just as he was to get off the barstool to chase Harry, the lad was off – leaving him alone at home with a boy he was afraid he might grow fond of, himself.  

 

 

.-.-.-.

 

 

Harry parked his car on the roadside, on the somewhat exact location where he had found Lou. He couldn’t actually tell that he was at the correct place he had stumbled open the little broken boy because the trees and the snow made everything look similar. Approximately, he was sure he was at the right place.

 

It was still blistering cold, though the ice falling from the sky had ceased it’s dropping, which made him wonder how did Lou even managed to survive in such a paralysing weather with just a thin layer of the hospital gown he wore before (one which Harry burnt over the fireplace).

 

He made his way off the roadside and into the woods where the trees were bald of its leaves and the barks were frozen to its core. The snow was deeper there, making it difficult for him to walk. He wished he had put on his boots instead of converse because it wasn’t fun getting cold ice into his shoes. At first he was walking blindly, looking around for any clues at all. Luck wasn’t on his side apparently; the snow surely had covered any marks left after two days.

 

Eventually he came over a clearing and from afar he could see the factory and laboratory his father owned. A white building surrounded by the woods. He could clearly picture what was going on inside as he had visited once before. There was a clear ‘ _Trespassers would be shot_ ’ sign not too far from where he was standing so he cancelled out the idea of sneaking in. Even though he was the son of the owner of the company, he doubted the guards knew who he was or they’d prefer a different approach where it involves shooting first, ask questions later. So he decide to back off, retracing his steps because going through the front door would be much easier than sneaking through the back.

 

He kept walking for another hour or so, from time to time hugging his body from the cold and his efforts were futile – he found  _nothing_. No institution of any such that could explain where Lou came from besides his father’s building. He pursed his lips and thought for a moment, then he decided, why not gave his future workplace (if he chose such path) a little visit?

 

So he got back to his car and headed towards Styles’ Pharmaceuticals Laboratory and Factory. Only to be stopped and not permitted entry at the main guard house. Even after telling the guard that he was  _the_  Harry Styles, future President of the company, the guard politely denied him access, asking him to come after a few days’ time (It’s not that Harry was lying or any sort, he was simply trying to have a feel of what working in such companies do). And when the guard was asked why Harry wasn’t allowed in he replied it was something confidential. After a few sweet talks, Harry managed to persuade the guard, the fellow telling him there wasn’t a lot of what he knew besides there was a possible gas leak that could endanger people inside – according to some of the ‘upper’ class people working there. Harry believed him; the guard genuinely looked like he knew nothing more but Harry what didn’t believe was what these ‘upper’ people told the guard – a gas leak. If there was any, shouldn’t the place be heavily restricted by everyone including the guard himself and only firemen or the gas leak squad should be handling the whole thing?

 

Harry didn’t push though, the last thing he needed was to come off as suspicious. So he decided to give up for the day and return back home even though there were still unanswered questions in his head. He drove back, his eyes on the road but his mind wondered away from where he actually was. He could feel the migraine building up as he was creating a mess of his thoughts.

 

The car infront of him suddenly slowed down, forcing him to do the same. He craned his neck to see that there was apparently a road block that wasn’t there earlier. It wasn’t the police, no, there were no such uniforms worn by the men handling the sudden blockade but Harry didn’t ponder on the thought for too long, that is – until it was his turn.

 

One of the men, wearing a thick dark coat knocked on his window and Harry reluctantly got it down.

 

“Good morning, sir,” the man greeted. He didn’t look like a policeman, Harry thought, even his hat didn’t seem like something a police would wear. The man was clean shaven and he looked like he was in his forties, “I apologise for delaying your trip.”

 

“It’s alright. What’s this all about?”

 

“We’re from the mental institute nearby,” the man answered but Harry found it hard to believe. He had lived here for almost all his life, he never knew there was such an institute here besides the Merrywhether School for Special Children, even then, that place is located probably miles away from where they were doing a road block.

 

“One of our mentally unstable patients had escaped, we were wondering if you had seen him anywhere around town and such.”

 

The man handed Harry a flyer. The picture covered half of the paper with its description written below it.

****

**_Name: Louis Tomlinson_ **

**_Age: 15 years old_ **

**_Disorder: Schizophrenia with depressive episodes_ **

**_Features: Blue Eyes, brown hair, 5’5 tall, medium built._ **

****

Harry gasped internally, though his inside were ready to explode he couldn’t show it at all to the men, because the picture made it crystal clear. He knew those eyes, he knew that face. He had seen him before; he had brought him home, sheltered him and fed him. The boy that was on the piece of paper, the missing boy from an asylum was none other than  _Lou_.


	9. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn spends the day with Lou

 

Zayn decided he was going to make some fish and chips for lunch. He wasn’t much of a good cook, his mother would always say, “You better stay out of the kitchen before you burn something. And find yourself a good wife to cook for you,” but living alone for the past few years now he learnt that it wasn’t actually  _that_  hard to turn on the stove and fix himself a good meal, it was fairly cheaper too then going out and eat. Even much cheaper that buying cold sandwiches from Seven-Eleven. And having Harry around was like watching Food Network sometimes.

 

 

He opted to cook for himself by learning from Harry and now he can cook basic meals like pasta and grilled sandwiches – of course, leaving all the complicated ones to his housemate because heck, why waste such a good cook around?

 

 

The fish was battered and the chips were taken out of the bag from the freezer. As he heated the oil on the pan he stretched his neck a bit to check up on the young boy that was currently staying with them. Lou was sitting by the window pane just staring out, probably watching all those people walking about on the street – it amazed him, and he amazed Zayn. Early he was watching the kid’s channel Zayn had him watch just so he wouldn’t hurt himself anywhere and how a single dog’s bark sent him right next to the window, lurking his eyes out for that source of sound.

 

 

“Never heard a dog before?” Zayn asked, chuckling, obviously unprepared for the answer.

 

 

“The ones that I usually hear were the ones in pain,” was Lou’s reply. Zayn had no retort to that, Harry’s words about Lou not being normal if only Zayn just spend a day with him rang in his head like the Chesire lad was actually there. Probably Harry was  _right_  – it was at the back of his mind, that possibility of what Harry said, but logic beat him otherwise. Harry was bored with his life  and Lou was a chance for an adventure to him; that was how Zayn tried convincing himself.

 

 

After carefully placing the fish onto the cooking oil, he felt the sudden urge to relieve his bladed, so he went into the bathroom to finish his bussiness only to return to the kitchen seeing Lou had his hand extended out ready to touch the pan.

 

 

“ _Lou, don’t touch that_!” he half screamed and the younger boy jumped slightly, retracting his hand away. Zayn sighed, relieved that he need not have to deal with a burnt hand or a lot more crying because he never knew how to handle those people. He once ran away when his ex-boyfriend starter crying on him because fuck he thought staying there would make things worst.

 

 

Lou looked at Zayn with doe eyes, eyebrows furrowing, “It was making weird noises and its warm-“

 

 

“It’s not  _warm_ , Lou,” Zayn pulled Louis’ arm gently, away from the frying fish, afraid that some of the oil might pop and reach Lou’s already severely bruised skin, “ It’s  _hot_ , it might burn your skin.”

 

 

Lou’s face contorted, he pulled his hand away from Zayn and started shaking his head frantically while backing away, “I don’t want to burn! It  _hurts_! Please don’t burn me,  _please_!”

 

 

Sensing that something was definitely wrong, Zayn tried his best to alter the way he sounded because if he sounded like he was scolding the little brunette earlier, he wasn’t now, “I’m not going to burn you- Lou, I’m not going to hurt you, I just- I just wanted you to be careful around these things because they might hurt you, alright?”

 

 

“I don’t understand,” Lou suddenly said in a voice so small, Zayn had to strain his ear to hear. It was better now that he wasn’t shaking or scared of Zayn.

 

 

“What is it that you don’t understand?”

 

 

“ _Why_?”

 

 

“Why what?”

 

 

“Why won’t you hurt me? Why won’t you and Harry hu-hurt me like  _they_  did?”

 

 

The reality hit him at that moment – he knew it from the start but hearing how broken Lou’s voice was and how he was genuinely terrified that Zayn  _might_ hurt him or confused when Zayn and Harry  _didn’t_  hurt him; it was like complete proof that the boy standing before him had gone through abuse before Harry had found him. There was this sick feeling in his stomach and rage as heat swept through every part of his body thinking that someone would hurt a child that was so defenseless, small and fragile.

 

 

Who would do such a thing – and  _why_? Some sick pleasure they get from hurting Lou – hearing him scream or wither in pain as they inflict wounds after wounds after wounds on him? or was he being rebellious – Lou is a child that had attempted escape from wherever he was sent to that the authorities there had to resort to hurting him in order to tame him? But that would still be  _abuse_  – no authority is to hurt anyone under their watch, especially not a child. Lou was small, literally tiny, Zayn was pretty sure they didn’t need to use much force to confine him.

 

 

It was his turn to be nauseated by that question – why? Why was this happening to this young lad?

 

 

“Why, Lou?” Zayn asked shakily, unsure whether he wanted to hear the answer or not – of course, he chose the former, “why do they hurt you?”

 

 

For a moment, Lou’s eyes flickered into something icy – cold and distant – then it went back to its teary eyed with little amount of innocence left in it, “because I was  _theirs_.” They way Lou said it, his voice – there was something in that voice, the kind of shiver it gave Zayn not because it was too cold, no, it was the kind of shiver knowing that such cruelty exist in this world. That  _humans_ , despite their progress in civilization, despite the modernistic life they live in now – such form of slavery exists, such  _evil_  exists.

 

 

Fuck this was all too much, Zayn thought, damn that curly haired bastard what kind of trouble has he gotten them into and what the hell should we do now – is that something burning?

 

 

Apparently, it had been too long since Zayn did the flip on the frying fishes that one side had turned black, dark smoke were beginning to form and thank god they have a good kitchen ventilation system. Zayn rushed to the rescue, using the kitchen mitts to hold the pan and dumping it into the sink, turning on the water, watching it sizzle as the cold meet the hot, black smoke turned into white ones.

 

 

Shit, now he had to start all over again and his head hurts. From everything.

 

 

“How about we order some Chinese takeout?” Lou tilted his head to the side at the sound of Zayn suggestion. (Fuck he was cute, Zayn thought).

 

 

“Are we going to eat Chinese people?”

 

 

It was probably the stress – the stress of ruining his lunch, the stress of knowing how much abuse Lou had gone through or the stress because now, he wasn’t sure of what to do – Zayn laughed. He laughed loud because who the hell eats Chinese people unless their cannibals? And the fact that Lou’s facial expression was priceless – all confused and adorable – Zayn couldn’t help but laugh more, nearly falling to the ground clutching his stomach. Seeing this, the corner of Lou’s lips tugged and soon, he was smiling.

 

 

“No, Lou, we aren’t eating Chinese people, you log. It’s a type of food  _made_  by Chinese people.”

 

 

“ _Oh,”_  and Louis started to giggle, his upper body shaking as he tried to cover his little laugh – in which Zayn find, yes, utterly adorable.

 

 

So Zayn ordered Chinese over the phone, ordering for Lou without asking what he want because let’s face it, it would confuse the poor boy more – he was already so confused thinking that Zayn was planning to feed him human flesh, more precisely  _Chinese_  human flesh. Yet, the boy stayed by him, listening to him as he mention the order one by one to the person on the other line. One time, Zayn actually winked at Lou and his face turned immediately pink. It was too cute; Zayn wished Harry was here to see that.

 

 

After, Zayn decided to teach Lou about video games. Lou being all clueless on what to do, where to press and who to aim at first but after the first hour, Lou was beating Zayn at their little battle. The boy had great aiming skills, getting a headshot almost every single time he saw Zayn over the game; Call of Duty. “Zayn does not lose, “he’d scream every time he’d play with Niall or Harry but he couldn’t do it to Lou, now that he had found his worthy opponent. Though Zayn was regretting making the decision to show Lou video games because he was being defeated every single time, he forgets all about the sourness of losing when he saw Lou smiled.

 

 

When the food came, they took time out from their little battle to dig in. Zayn showed Lou how to use the chopsticks which resulted the boy nearly cried because he thought he wasn’t allowed to eat since he couldn’t use those two little sticks so, Zayn gave him a fork instead. Lou finished every single food Zayn bought for him and the Bradford born lad couldn’t be happier seeing that smile. They kept ones for Harry in the freezer and Lou merrily skipped back to the front of the telly, calling out to Zayn as he was eager to continue the game they were playing.

 

 

Almost an hour later, they could hear the front door being open. “Harry!” Lou exclaimed happily, dropping the controller he had in his hand and jumping up to greet his curly haired savior. Zayn turned the console off, rearranging the controllers (he has a bit of OCD) before joining Lou on welcoming Harry home. Instead of happy cheers, there air suddenly turned tense and Lou froze a few feet away from an angry looking Harry who stood at the door way.

 

 

He had a paper in his hand; he lifted it up just enough for both Zayn and Lou to see. There was a boy on that paper, a boy that looked a lot like the boy who was in their apartment right now that Zayn couldn’t help but hurriedly averted his eyes to the words written below;

****

****

**_Name: Louis Tomlinson_ **

**_Age: 15_ **

**_Disorder: Schizophrenia with depressive episodes_ **

**_Features: Blue eyes, brown hair, 5’5 tall, medium built._ **

 

 


	10. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry confronts Lou.

  
“Haz, what the fuck is this?”

 

 

Zayn snatched the paper from Harry’s hand just so he could inspect it more closely. He was having a hard time believing his eyes. the picture printed in colour on the paper was Louis, there was no doubt in that, he had the features, the same blank look that Louis gave them some times and  _worst_ , the same sadness in those blue eyes. One thing though, he looked  _younger_ , younger that he already was, which made Zayn wonder how old was he when he was forced to take the picture or forced into this so called institution – Harvey Mental Rehabilitation Centre per se ( written on top of the picture).

 

 

“I don’t know, how about we try asking  _Louis_ ,” Harry snarled bitterly, eyes averting from his best mate to Lou who was standing there frozen behind Zayn, “ when are you going to tell us your full name eh,  _Louis_.”

 

 

Lou would flinch at the mention of that name –  _Louis_. Zayn could see but Harry cannot, he was too blinded by rage, he felt deceived because of course Lou was a schizoid, despite his almost mutant eyes and tears, he fit every characteristics there are in a schizoid patient, he knew because he had seen some at the psychiatric ward – he was a medical student, for fuck’s sake.

 

 

“Lou-“

 

 

“Louis,” Harry corrected Zayn and Lou flinched again.

 

 

Why was it so familiar? That name, why was is ringing so many bells in Lou’s head and  _why_ -

_“Mum! Louis is teasing me again!” a young brunette screamed as she ran downstairs for her mother._

_“Lottie started it!” Louis retorted, chasing after his sister._

_“Oh my god. Charlotte, Louis, will you two get along!?” another brunette, who looked like a much older version of the girl, earlier came into view. She was sitting by the kitchen table and in front of her , scattered all over the surface of the brown wooden table, were loads of papers. Louis caught onto the writings written on those papers and they gave him the same thought - bills, bills, bills._

_“Louis-“_

_“Lou-“_

“Lou?”

 

Lou shook his head, shutting his eyes so tightly, “No.”  
  


 

“Lou, what’s the matter?”

 

 

“His name is  _Louis_ , Zayn – Lou is for short.”

 

 

“Louis.”

_“Louis.”_

_“I’m so sorry, Louis, I’m so sorry, “now the woman was crying. Why was she crying? She looked so much better smiling but Louis seemed to forget when the last time she did so. It was always forced – her smile – it never reached her eyes. It never reached Louis._

_“Mum?” Louis wanted to give her a hug, to tell her to stop crying but two men came and held him back by the shoulders. He looked at them, they were huge, they were wearing white and they certainly didn’t smile. He looked back at his mother, pleading her with his eyes to not leave him with them._   
  


_The woman took his hand, gave it a little kiss before backing up from them. Louis tried to step forward, towards his mother, but they wouldn’t let him. “I’m sorry, Louis, you be good, alright? I’m sorry I had to do it.”_

_“Mummy, please don’t leave me.”_

_“I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry.”_

_“Mum!? Mummy! Please, don’t go! Don’t leave me!”_

_“Don’t leave me!”_

 

 

“Please don’t leave me!” Louis screamed, his voice breaking and those radioactive coloured tears streamed down his face.

 

 

Zayn gave Harry an accusing look, one that looks like shouting at him ‘ _you fucking did this_ ’ before hurrying over towards the boy who had fallen to the ground, covering his face with his hands and screaming, “don’t leave me, don’t leave me,” over and over again. Zayn pulled on Lou’s wrist and there was resistance at first but soon Lou succumbed to Zayn’s persistence and he fell into the older lad’s embrace, sobbing into his chest, his tears wetting the t-shirt Zayn was wearing.

 

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What happened to the other Harry that left the house earlier!?” Zayn scolded, covering Lou’s head with his arms.

 

 

“That ‘Harry’ found out that he has a psychiatric patient in his house.”

 

 

“And you believe that paper!?”

 

 

“Oh now you’re telling me not to believe the logical option?”

 

 

“And why are you angry now!?”  
  


 

“He lied-!”  
  


 

“How do you know!?”

 

 

“He has the signs and symptoms!”

 

 

“Even so, shit head, you’re okay with handing him back to the people who abuse him!?”

 

 

Harry couldn’t reply that. Now he wasn’t sure why he was angry in the first place. Lou was abused – that was the fact, it was no wonder that he tried to escape the place he was held in before but why was Harry was so angry? Was it because Lou lied? He shouldn’t be angry because if Lou really was sick like that, he had no power against it; it was not his fault for having those things in his head. Then he realised he wasn’t particularly angry at Lou he was angry because finding that piece of paper actually meant that everything he believed Lou was – was  _a lie_. His fantasy was a lie. That was it, he wanted to believe that he had discovered something rare, something no man had found,  _ever_  – Lou, little Lou with the stunning blue eyes, that glows for some reason – a possible,  _possible_  suspect of something that is utterly ridiculous –  _male pregnancy_.

 

 

And his dream, his fantasy bought violently down by reality when he encountered those people at the roadblock, that damn piece of paper made him doubt himself, that maybe, just  _maybe_  it was all in his head,  _in Lou’s head_. It made him think that  _maybe_  he was like any other person in the world – selfish. He did not care of Lou’s best interest, it was his own. He didn’t care if the child was hurt, it was more of getting his self satisfaction. He became the one person he didn’t want to be. He was becoming like his  _father_. A man who strive to achieve his dream that he disregard of everyone else’s feelings.

 

 

“Oh my god,” he breathed, wiping his face with his hands, “shit.”

 

 

“You damn right ‘ _shit_ ’.”

 

 

“I’m fucking sorry.”

 

 

“You better be,” Zayn spat, still feeling the smaller boy in his arms tremble at the rise of his voice though it was not appointed to him.

 

 

“You’re not helping, Zayn.”

 

 

“Neither were you earlier,” Zayn sighed, “look, we still don’t know what the fuck happened before you found Lou, but returning him to the people whom he escaped from is not an option, alright? Crazy or not, Lou does not deserve to be treated like an animal. I suggest the police-“  
  


 

“No, not the police,” Harry cut him off, “the police might send him back to his captors. So,  _no_. Not until we fully understand the situation.”

 

 

“What else is there to understand? Did you find anything?”

 

 

“Nothing except the flyer. Those people though, I admit they are  _suspicious_. I’ll figure something out but for now-,” Harry sat on his knees so that he could be at the same lever of Zayn, who was holding the boy who had stopped crying but still sniffing.

 

 

“Hey, Lou-“

 

 

“ _Louis._ ” Harry and Zayn were surprised when Lou spoke. “Mum- Mum and Lottie used to call me Louis, sometimes Lou if she’s not angry at me, before-“Lou stopped, gulping as he furiously wipe the tears that shed from his eyes. He looked so fragile in Zayn’s arms, so small – so precious – that Harry wanted to take him into  _his_  arms. Let  _him_  hold Louis, not  _Zayn_. He shook the feeling (jealousy) away, mistaking it as guilt.

 

“Before what, sweetheart?” Harry pushed gently, resting a hand on Lou’s thigh.

 

“I-I can’t remember,” Lou shut his eyes again, shaking his head, “please don’t be angry at me, I’ll try and remember! I will, I just- I just can’t-“  
  


 

“Hey, Hey,” Harry tugged gently on Louis’ wrist, pulling him towards his own body and hugging him. He dismissed the feeling in his stomach as he felt Louis’ warmth against his own, how he wanted to stay like that a bit longer and how perfect it was; Louis in  _his_  arms, “don’t worry about it. I’m not angry. I’m sorry, I was harsh earlier, I was just frustrated with myself, that’s all. I’m sorry I screamed at you, I’m sorry.”

 

“Are you going to send me back to those men?”

 

“No-,” Harry answered too quickly, “there is  _no way_  you’re going back to those men. I will not let anyone, you understand,  _anyone_  hurt you anymore. Zayn too, we will not let anyone touch you like that, not anymore, okay?”

 

“Okay, “Lou sniffed and for the first time ever he felt the smaller boy hugging him back. Harry rested his chin on Louis’ head then he planted a kiss on Louis’ head, smelling the sweet strawberry smell of Zayn’s shampoo (Zayn must’ve bathed him earlier that day, Harry thought). He looked over at Zayn who was smiling at them, winking suggestively. In return Harry poked his tongue out and mouthed how he wasn’t gay like his housemate.

 

“ _Right_ ,” Zayn snorted before getting up,” I’ll make us some tea.” He left the two and headed towards the kitchen.

 

Harry and Lou stayed like that for a moment longer, Lou resting his head on Harry’s muscular chest while Harry nuzzled his face into Lou’s hair. His fingers played with the soft chestnut strands and wondered how different Lou looked now than he was when Harry first met him. He looked more alive now rather than the pale, dirty, bruised kid in the hospital gown with blood running down his legs-.

_“They put something in me, Harry.”_

 

It was like a light bulb went on in his head. An idea came to mind. An idea to find out more about Louis, find out whether he was telling the truth or not. He got up quickly, pulling Louis along with him and padded into the kitchen, Louis behind him. Zayn who was waiting by the kettle for the water to boil turned and gave a questioning look at the sight of his best friend – Harry having an excited face on, like a child waiting to tell his parents about the puppy he bought home and wanting to keep it. Before he could ask why that idiot has that look on his face, Harry beat him to it.

 

“I have an  _idea_.”


	11. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry brings Lou for a check with Dr. Payne.

Lou looked normal.

 

 

Harry had him wear his black jumper with the words ‘teenage runaway’ written on it. One which his sister would say, “why would you wear that, you’re no longer a teenager,” every time she sees him in those and in retort, he’d smack her forehead – the result is always world war three. And if it looks big on Harry, it completely swallowed Lou’s petite body, his fingers just barely poking out of the sleeve. For pants, Zayn had given him his jeans he had since high school – when he was a lot small.  It fit perfectly everywhere except for around Lou’s bum; it was exceptionally tighter around that region. Harry and Zayn may have let their eyes linger on the sight a tad bit longer than necessary.

 

 

Zayn fixed Lou’s hair, putting on Harry’s maroon beanie and letting his fringe out. Harry then grabbed  pain of glasses he used to own before he started wearing contact lenses  (those days when his friends would call him ‘Marcel’ because Marcel was such a nerdy name, fits him perfectly back then), putting it on Lou in attempt to hide Lou’s eyes. It worked, those black rims actually help hid Lou’s beautifully abnormal eyes behind it and he was ready. Ready to get out of the little apartment he had been spending two days in.

 

 

“Did you give Liam a call?” Zayn asked, grabbing his snapback and putting it on, he then put his brown coat on Lou, adding an extra layer to protect the small boy from the cold.

 

 

“Yeah, he’s in the ward now. Said to call him when we arrive,” Harry replied, checking his pockets to make sure he has everything.

 

 

Lou kept biting on the sleeve of the jumper, his fringe falling over his eyes and Harry couldn’t help but feel that this was how he is supposed to look – like a teenager. All normal and trying to follow the current fashion trends, not trapped in a place where people could hurt him day by day. It angered Harry thinking what else was stole nfrom Lou other than his childhood and innocence?

 

 

Harry held his hand out to caress Lou’s cheek, startling him and he looked up to see Harry smiling fondly at him. In return Lou nuzzled his face to Harry’s hand. Both of them lost in each other’s eyes, not noticing how Zayn was smugly smiling at both of their gestures. Harry might not have noticed but Zayn sure did. In the depth of his stomach he was worried Lou was going to get hurt because fuck his best mate was still so confused of his orientation but Zayn dismissed the feeling, forcing himself not to over think.

 

 

Once everyone was all nice and warm, they walked out of the apartment and into the car, Harry in the driver’s, Zayn in the passenger’s and Lou in the back seat. Zayn had turned on the radio, letting it murmur lightly in the background while the car was filled with comfortable silence. Throughout the whole journey to the hospital they could hear Lou in the back humming along the songs although he knew none of it. When they passed something interesting like a café or a shop, Lou would excitedly jump over to the window, staring out in awe.

 

 

“What’s that?” Lou asked after they passed a line of people queuing up for tickets at the theatre.

 

 

“The theatre, Lou,” Harry replied simply, eyes focused on the car infront of him. An old lady was driving and she was certainly testing Harry’s patience.

 

 

“Theatre?”

 

_“Where are we going, mummy?” Louis asked, gripping his mother’s hand to get her attention._

 

_“To the theatre, Lou,” his mother answered, looking down and smiling at him._

 

_“Mummy said we’re going to watch a movie!” Lottie exclaimed happily. Jumping slightly, she was holding their mother’s other hand._

 

_“What movie?” Louis asked a little bit more._

 

_“You’ll see,” his mother winked._

 

_They never actually watched a movie that day._

 

The car stopped and Lou blinked to see that he was still in Harry’s car with the curly haired lad and Zayn, not somewhere in his distant past with his mother and his sister. Harry unbuckled his seatbelt before turning his upper body and smiling at the young boy sitting in the back seat. “We’re here,” he said, fixing the glasses Lou had on so it wouldn’t slip off his nose.

 

 

Lou gazed in utter awe at the white building in front of them – the words ‘Blue Hearts Hospital’ written in black at the entrance. He had never been so close to something so large, as far as he could remember. There were people coming up to the car parked next to Harry’s and they children were pushing trough Lou to get into the car. He had never seen so many children, and he had never seen them so happy. The boy with the beanie looked so dazed, well, he felt dazed. He had never been outside since the first day he was taken, everything around him seems so surreal.

 

 

Harry grabbed Lou’s wrist and pulled him back, missing the moving car in mere inches.

 

 

“Lou, be careful,” Harry warned, checking Lou’s body to see whether he had hurt himself, letting a sigh of relief when Lou was wound free.

 

 

“Where are we?” Lou asked innocently.

 

 

“The hospital,” Zayn answered then started walking towards the entrance. Harry stayed back for a while with Lou, still holding his hand.

 

 

“Now, Lou, no matter who you see in there, I don’t want you to freak out. Doctors-“

 

 

“Doctors!?” the smaller boy started to freak out (the irony to what Harry said earlier) and Harry held him tight, holding his face still so that he could look straight into the boy’s scared blue eyes, as if he could see all the torture Lou had went through, the legit reason for his fears.  _Eyes are the windows to one’s soul_ , his father would say. Though he was a complete selfish arsehole, Harry would never deny his father of his intelligence and knowledge – probably a bit more neurotic than normal, he presumed.

 

 

“These doctors won’t hurt you, I promise that, Lou. I promise. I just need to get you checked out-“

 

 

“But they have needles! And straps! And they’ll hurt me, Harry, they’ll hurt me!” Lou begged, crying now and trying to pull his body away from the stronger lad. Of course his crying caught the attention of people passing by but it appears nothing weird to them – Lou looked like a child being coaxed to get some treatment, to see the doctor. It’s not something terribly out of place, children are afraid of doctors and dentists; it’s just that Lou was slightly older.

 

 

“Lou, baby, listen. They won’t hurt you, alright? I promise you. I won’t let them.”

 

 

Lou sniffed, “you won’t?”

 

 

“Yes, now, after we’re done, we’ll get pizza? How’s that?”

 

 

Lou’s eyes brightened up after the mention of the type of fast food, like a child when he’s allowed to get whatever he wants at the supermarket. Reluctantly he nodded and let Harry walked him through the hospital’s entrance, holding his hand.

 

 

They walked through the hallways, took a lift up to the second floor where the maternal clinics was. With Harry’s card – enabling the staff to identify him as a practical medical student – he was able to walk through doors no normal citizen could. They went in trough one of the many doors where there was a machine situated in the middle, next to a bed. Zayn was already inside next to a man Lou didn’t recognize, wearing a white coat.

 

 

The man was handsome, and he looked very kind; different from the doctors Lou knew, ones that made the men in white hold him tightly, strap him to the chair while they inject him all over and ran tests on him. For some reason, this doctor gave out a different vibe and although a tiny bit scared (Lou hid behind Harry), the boy wasn’t particularly terrified of this man.

 

 

“When you said you’d want me to run an ultrasound on a friend I thought you were going to bring a girl you knocked up,” the doctor – or Liam – mused, peeking behind Harry to see a small boy cowering, using Harry’s height to its advantage.

 

 

“We just needed to be sure of something,” Harry said to Liam, a friend he had made during his practical in this hospital who was also a senior houseman here ( _and_  Liam used to date Zayn). Creating rapport with the staff actually helped him gain more knowledge in the course, though he had no interest in it what so ever.

 

 

 

“Come on, Lou,” Harry coaxed Lou to the bed.

 

 

As if he had done it before, Lou nodded and padded over to the bed, crawling on top of it before lying down and exposing his stomach even before he was instructed. Liam looked at Harry and Zayn, raising a brow but they just shrugged, not really knowing on what to say.

  

 

“Just check whatever you’re supposed to on a woman, Liam,” Harry said and Liam snorted.

 

 

“What? Look for a fucking uterus?” he said, humor laced in his voice.  
  


 

“Just do it, please, muse the boy,” Zayn spoke next, sitting on one of the available chairs, looking all bored out of his mind.

 

 

Though having that doubtful and confused look on his face, Liam proceeded to take a seat next to the ultrasound machine.  He grabbed the blue gel and squirted on Lou’s flat stomach, still thinking how ridiculous this is and he should be doing something else at the moment rather than being here. he gave the boy that was lying on the bed a smile, not denying the fact that he was adorable and was his eyes glowing – where could Harry found him? He wrote a mental note to himself to extort the answers later.

 

 

Liam turned the monitor on and using the wand, he began to spread the gel across the surface of Lou’s stomach. He wasn’t actually sure where to go, so he just practically moved around – seeing the boy’s liver, kidneys, prostate and bladder – nothing unusual in a normal boy.

 

 

“I don’t know what I’m looking for-“Liam complained, moving around a little bit more before suddenly, his eyes focused on something on the screen.  He moved the wand to get a clearer picture on what was showing on the screen and when he actually did, he wasn’t sure what to make up of it. He blinked his eyes a couple of times to see whether or not the image is real and his jaw dropped.

 

 

“Holy- is that a fucking uterus?”

 


	12. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Payne is baffled with what's inside Lou.

 

“It doesn’t make sense-“

 

“Liam-“

 

“He’s a fucking boy! But with a uterus! If it was a case of hermaphroditism, he’d have ovaries along with his uterus- “

 

“Liam.”

 

“-but this is not the case, there are no ovaries, no other female reproductive organs besides the uterus- but that doesn’t make sense, he’s a boy! He’s got a prostate! But- fuck, his uterus, an incomplete hermaphrodite, possibly but he’s lining is perfectly, growing-“

 

Thwack!

 

That did the trick, it made Liam’s left cheek turn slightly crimson but hey, it stopped. Liam had shut up from his medical man rambling when Zayn’s palm hit his cheek. Well, that wasn’t the first time it happened and the other occasion happened because of a completely different reason with a totally different context.

 

“Thanks, I needed that,” the doctor with brown eyes said, rubbing his sore cheek.

 

“You’re welcome,” Zayn replied sitting back down, “now, calmly repeat the gibberish you said with English please.”

 

Harry leaned in from where he was sitting, his eyes shifted from the monitor (which was showing grayish matter with a thin line – a uterus – inside Lou’s body) and back to Liam, who now, looked rather excited because of this discovery.

 

“Well, you can see here, Zayn, Harry, this,” he pointed to the grayish matter, “the fundus and all  _complete_ , uterine lining – where implantation occurs in conception – but the thing is, that’s all there is. A uterus, with an os opening into part of his rectum, if I’m correct and that’s the thing. He only has a uterus. Only  _a part_  of a female reproductive system.”

 

Zayn raised a brow, confused, not too clear as he wasn’t someone familiar with such terms or situation for that matter ( he’s a painter for fuck’s sake) but Harry on the other hand nodded (like he was focusing on a class or a lecture), urging Liam to continue.

 

“His lining- they aren’t thin which meant it’s growing, like a woman after her menstruation- but that could only happen if the woman has the ovaries- and he, he doesn’t. It doesn’t explain why his lining is still forming, it could be of external source-“

 

“It doesn’t make him entirely a hermaphrodite?” Harry spoke, brows furrowing to the centre in concentration, trying to recall the he went through with Dr. Peazer. She was always a little eccentric that professor, her thoughts must be wild which explains her wild curly hair Harry found rather attractive (he’s bias to people with curly hair).

 

“It might not be natural at all. Someone… could’ve opened him up and placed the uterus there, probably placing the external source of such hormones somewhere else probably under his skin or I don’t know, I need to run a few more tests to confirm.”

 

There was that sudden cliché eerie silence along with the rising of goosebumps hearing those words coming out of Liam’s mouth.  Harry didn’t know which was more disturbing that Lou had a functioning (though not complete) female reproductive system of his own or the fact that someone had cut him open, placing that  _thing_  inside of him, turning him into some sort of their sick experiment.

_“I am their experiment, Harry.”_   
  


 

All this while, while the three older lads were busy discussing on Liam’s findings, Lou sat on the bed, playing with his fingers and biting his lower lip. He looked over at Harry, not really digesting what he was saying but he sounded serious. Lou hoped it wasn’t his fault everyone was slightly raising their voice. His eyes went from each lad, Harry, Zayn and Liam before landing onto the screen. He lifted his upper body up with his arms trying to get a good picture of what Liam had froze on, it seemed rather different than the one he saw the last time those doctors at that damned place did on him.

 

“Is my baby okay?” Lou suddenly said, catching all three lad’s attention, snapping their heads towards the small boy sitting on the bed.

 

“-What?” Liam piped up. He had the same expression as Harry and Zayn – as confused as ever.

 

“Lou, what baby?” Harry sat beside Louis, carefully placing a hand over the boy’s smaller one.  The ultrasound clearly shows Lou wasn’t pregnant, it was an empty uterus. Unless…

 

“My baby. They- they said I was finally pregnant before I ran away-I need to get the baby out, they were going to take my baby away from me and-“

 

Harry didn’t know why but there’s this sudden heat that was beginning to fill his body, a start of something he could quite decipher. Why was his heart beating fast, why was he anxious, why he was feeling slightly angry knowing the fact that Lou said he was pregnant – with someone’s baby. But then he realised that Lou didn’t know that his uterus was empty and his felt something clenched his heart, like he felt so bad, so sorry – for what he wasn’t sure- but most probably because he knew Lou lost his baby and Lou didn’t.

 

“Lou,” Harry said calmly, visibly trying to maintain his composure and not losing it right now, “I think,” he recalled back when he found Lou bleeding and the blood clot that came out of him. Both of Harry’s hands were now cupping the smaller boy’s, obviously, small hand.“I think, oh my god, Lou, I’m sorry, you  _lost_  the baby.”

 

Lou blinked, eyes straight into Harry’s and it couldn’t be more heartbreaking watching as Lou’s face fell. His hand began to tremble as Harry held it tight. He didn’t say anything, he was only showing non-verbal signs of not accepting the news quite well – Lou nodded, his whole body trembling and he pulled his hand away from Harry so he could turn away, turn away and curl into fetal position and he cried silently, hugging himself.

 

Harry leaned forward, placing a hand on Lou’s waist and he planted chaste kissed over the exposed  back of Lou’s neck. His other hand went to Lou’s hair, caressing it gently, and he moved his lips to Lou’s ear, whispering, apologising and telling the small boy that it was okay to cry to let it out. with every sob or cry Lou made, it was like a stab to his heart, each bruising him and hurting him, he himself wanted to cry.

 

And then it was like a miracle, Lou suddenly pulled Harry into a hug. His legs went around Harry’s waist and his arms around Harry’s neck like a koala and he hid his face at the crook of Harry’s neck. Fresh tears shed as sobs wracked his small body and Harry could feel it on his skin. He placed his arms around Lou and hugged him tighter, though he might be considered as taking the advantage of such situation, he loved the way Lou’s body against him, and he definitely loved the way Lou looked for comfort in him.

 

He could feel Zayn beside him, rubbing Lou’s back and placing a kiss on the top of the boy’s head.  After a while, Lou stopped crying but he still clung to Harry like he was some pillar, strong and holding him up when he’s down. Harry had to sit on the bed himself because his legs were cramping since he was carrying an extra weight, but not that he minded at all, Lou barely weigh a ton.

 

Liam came and sat next to Harry, enabling him to see Lou’s face as he leaned his head on Harry’s shoulders. His eyes were red and there were no longer fresh tears, his face was blotchy and puffed, Liam felt really bad for the child. His hand reached out to give a sympathetic pat on Lou’s back, but once the boy saw Liam’s hand he began to squirm away, if it wasn’t Harry holding him, he’d fall off.

 

“Mate, he doesn’t like it when strangers touch him,” Harry said, running a hand gently down Lou’s back. He might be or might not be doing that on purpose, trying to hold back a smug because he was the one holding Lou and touching Lou without him running away. In short, he was happy Lou was comfortable with him, and not with Liam (smug face).

 

“Oh, right, sorry, “ Liam apologised, pulling his hand back, “I might need to run a few more tests, like blood and urine tests and probably a physical examination to make sure he’s completely okay- “

 

“Don’t you need papers for that? Because Lou doesn’t have any…”

 

“No, no, I can manage, if Lou lets me to. I can help run that few tests.”

 

Harry sighed, Lou looked at him from below and Harry smiled at the boy, gently pushing his hair back.

 

“Lou, is it okay if Liam take some of your blood? It will hurt tiny bit with the needle but I’ll be here to make sure it won’t hurt so bad, how’s that?”

 

Lou still looked skeptical, changing his glances from Harry to Liam and back to Harry. Though reluctant, he nodded and gave his arm to Liam.

 

Liam took Lou’s blood with little resistance, in fact the boy didn’t even flinch. It was Liam who gasped when he saw the bruises on Lou’s arm, Harry, Zayn or Lou himself needed to say no more, Liam immediately picked up that the bruises on Lou’s body were not unintentional nor was sit methods to tame him, he was abused. After Liam had taken Lou’s urine, asking the boy to go to the washroom and pee in a cup, he – with Lou’s approval – examined his whole body, finding there were no serious injuries on him besides the old scars, one which he gave extra attention to was the horizontal excision scar on Lou’s lower abdomen. When Harry asked why Lou’s eyes and tears were such mutant colours, Liam shook his head saying they would only know after the test results.

 

Liam asked Lou a couple of questions regarding the whole thing and he gave the same answers he gave, Harry – he was an experiment to them, they placed something within him(Liam concluded it was the uterus he found) to make Lou the first pregnant male and that he belonged to them before he escaped. In the end, Harry noticed how tired Lou looked so he asked Liam to finish it up quickly or maybe another day because all he wanted was to get Lou home, where he could sleep, rest and mend his broken heart after such terrible news of his loss.

 

Liam said he’d call once the results are in. before they left, Harry made Liam promise not to tell anyone and Liam crossed his heart over it or he’ll be crushed by a giant cemented tire.

 

Zayn was the one that drove them back home. Harry held Lou in the back seat as the boy started crying again. It was quiet, the whole journey back to their apartment. The car was only filled with the sound of constant sniffles and sobbing and Harry murmuring lightly to Louis’ ears. When they finally reached, Lou was asleep. Harry carried him up stairs to his bed room, taking off his clothing and tucking him in bed before he made himself tea to drink.  He and Zayn sat in front of the telly for a little while talking about everything else besides Lou’s condition, decided that they were both tired to think much of that topic, at least not for tonight. Finally Zayn  went to bed and like the few nights before, Harry found himself far from falling  asleep on the couch because his mind wouldn’t stop going round and round– thinking who could’ve fathered Lou’s child that he lost.  

 


	13. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry found out an important piece of the puzzle

The last thing Harry wanted to hear – was  _her_  voice.

 

 

“Harry!”

 

 

The annoyingly high pitched girly voice - as if she had been concealing her normal voice by constricting her vocal cords – the voice belonging to none other than Margaret Green. Harry had even theorized (with Niall) at the back of the class one afternoon, whilst trying to make it seem like they were concentrating on the types of spinal fractures presented by a fellow class mate upfront, that the reason why Margaret was speaking through her nose annoyingly was because if she were to speak trough her mouth like normal people would, whales would start committing a mass suicide.

 

 

Of course, they seen it happen at parties where the red haired lass with bright green eyes had too much to drink but apparently (to their utter disappointment), no news of whale carcasses found stranded on shore the morning after.  She sounded like an old English lady who had gone mad because her tea wasn’t thick enough or there was no sugar in it, tossing her cup all over the air with her pinky perked up screaming, “who dare not put sugar in my tea!?”

 

 

Well, she wasn’t using that old womanly voice when she’s infront of Harry of course; instead, she was using that almost squealing tone girls use to show a guy that she’s absolutely interested in him. It sounded more like a mating call to be honest and the first thing Niall did when he heard her call for Harry was gave him a pat on the shoulder ( he watched Harry grimace upon hearing her voice) then walking away, telling him he’ll text later on.

 

 

Harry was left to turn slowly and smiled awkwardly at the girl excitedly jogging over to him.

 

 

“Hey,” she greeted, slightly breathless, “you didn’t call me last weekend.”

 

 

Harry quirked a brow, looking rather confused, “was I supposed to?”

 

 

And Margaret laughed, tossing her red locks back but then realising that Harry was genuinely asking her that question, so she cleared her throat and fixed the purple long coat she had on, “you always call me on weekends. What, you have a new girl over?”

 

 

No, more like a new little boy over(that sounded wrong)( shit, Harry mentally slapped himself for that).. Harry couldn’t tell her that the reason why he didn’t call her over to have sex (which they did almost every weekend for the past three months) was because he found a beautiful blue boy with radioactive pair of blue eyes with a heartbreaking past ( not to mention the presence of a uterus within him). Margaret would freak out and demand to see him, knowing her – Harry knew she couldn’t keep her mouth shut so it’s better to just lie this time around.

 

 

“I had – uh – a cousin over,” Harry answered, nails scratching his scalp, “I got busy the whole weekend entertaining him.”

 

 

Hearing the word  _him_ , Margaret’s frown broke into a wide grin.

 

 

“Well, why won’t you tell me, silly, we could always have that annoying housemate of yours baby sit him while you come over my house,” she winked, inching closer to Harry and when the taller lad inched backwards, she moved forwards, grabbing seductively the collar of his hoodie.

 

 

“What about tonight? You can come over and we could -,” Margaret licked her lips, wiping some of the red lipstick she had on off, “we could study  _anatomy_  together.”

 

 

Harry held her by the shoulders and gently pushed her off him. Nothing could compare to the surprised look she had on her face because that usually works on men. Margaret Green was known for her full lips and the way she licks it could send some nosebleeds going.  And yes, it worked on getting Harry to take her home the few nights before, what was so different now?  
  


 

The answer to that question was back at the Harry and Zayn’s apartment. Zayn had to work and Harry had morning classes so Lou had to stay at home alone, the reason why Harry was so eager to return home. He wants to make sure that the house wasn’t burn down or in a mess and more importantly, Lou wasn’t hurt.

 

 

Before he left for class he made breakfast and the blue eyed boy was awake, watching with solemn eyes as Harry cooked. It wasn’t his fault, he just discovered he had a miscarriage, the reason why he escaped from that place Harry knew nothing of was so he could keep his child safe and now that he lost it, he couldn’t help but feel rather discouraged. Harry made him sunny side up eggs with bacon and toast; he then made fresh mint tea for the boy and showed Lou how to work the telly and the video games. Once everything was look over (he even warned Lou to keep all the doors locked and not open unless it was Zayn or Harry), he kissed the boy on the forehead and left, immediately regretting his decision to continue school.

 

 

Harry decided that he was to agree with his father in this matter and continue his medical degree. It wasn’t that he was afraid his father would cut off all his funds, but it was rather – how was he going to take care of Lou  _if_  his father cut off his funds. It surprised him really, how much he cared for a boy he just met and how he would do anything to protect him. he couldn’t do it if he had no money and had to work double the shift at the music café – not to mention that amount of money itself isn’t fit to pay for their apartment. So Harry made up his mind to succumb to his father’s wishes, until further notice.

 

 

“Harry?”

 

 

“No, thanks Margaret, not tonight.”

 

 

No girl liked to be blown off, especially not someone as beautiful as Margaret who often gets whatever she wants. She was daddy’s little princess, she was the campus’ beauty with brains who’d get any guy’s attention and she was  _definitely_ , Harry’s favourite girl.

 

 

“Why not?” she huffed, crossing her arms.

 

 

“Because, I’ve got an assignment due and my cousin is still around so, he’s family, Maggie,” he lied, as smoothly as he could, using Margaret’s pet name and seeing her eyes turn soft when he calls her that. Not to mention that Harry was using his large mossy eyes with a slight pout, Margaret melted almost immediately, believing him.

 

 

“Alright, alright, how about lunch soon?”

 

 

Harry sigh internally, but he answered with, “Lunch definitely.” Because there was no actually reason as to why he shouldn’t go with her. They used to and then they’d continue with sleeping over each other’s place though not establishing their relationship but apparently now, Harry seem to be disinterested with Margaret. Not that he was interested before, she was apparently his love interest – she’s fit, no doubt about that , and both of their friends kept pushing them towards each other but that was it. Merely because both Margaret and Harry wanted someone to have some sort of a relationship with but nothing deep enough to be called one.

 

 

Basically Margaret’s fine with Harry not calling her his girlfriend despite all their so-called-dates and Harry’s fine with Margaret sticking around, that is until he found Lou. He never had to lie to her till then.

 

 

The settled to having lunch the next day after ward hours as long as it does not require him to be out of his house for long, then Harry wouldn’t mind it. He then gave her a peck on the cheek before turning on his heel and speed walking to his car just so she wouldn’t strike up another conversation that could delay him.

 

 

Harry was absolutely surprised when he saw his father standing at his doorstep when he arrived to his little apartment. Rarely does his father has time for dinner with the family way back when Harry was still in school, so it was pretty rare to see Dr. Bernard Styles standing there with his charcoal coloured long coat and a red scarf.  Harry should have taken notice of his father’s black Mercedes outside with his driver but he didn’t, by then he would be only half as surprised.

 

 

“Father.”

 

 

“Hello, Harry. I’ve expected that you’d arrive at this hour – slightly earlier but that don’t matter.”

 

 

Harry was definitely puzzled on to why his father was standing there; he was usually too busy with matters to attend at his company.

 

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

 

Dr. Styles had his hands together infront of his stomach, smiling at his son, “I am here for your decision. I believe it’s rather… informal if you were to only call or instant message me of what you’ve decided on. And I believe this is something you’d do in person, isn’t that right, Harry? I didn’t raise my son to be a coward now did I.”

 

 

No, you didn’t raise him into a coward but a puppet under your command, Harry thought but those words remained in his head. It should be kept with a lock and key in his head, no where else.

 

 

“Um,  _right_ , please,” Harry held the key and his father stepped back a little to let him open the door, “come in, father.”

 

 

The first thing Harry did when he opened the door was search for Lou. He didn’t want his father finding out about the boy, being a medical man for more than fifty years, Harry was sure his father would pick up Lou’s odd features. He knew his father wouldn’t be too keen if he finds out Harry is sheltering a homeless boy in his apartment and feeding him with food his father paid for. That is only  _if_  his father didn’t freak out over Lou’s abnormal blue eyes.  The hardest part would either be trying to explain Lou’s existence or convincing his father not to call the police.

 

 

He found the small boy curled up in a blanket on the sofa, the telly was on and there was that empty cup of tea Harry had made for him much earlier. Harry smiled fondly at the sleeping boy, cheeks rosy pink from the heat of hiding his body in a thick blanket with Harry’s jumper underneath. Carefully, not wanting to wake Lou up, Harry hooked his arm underneath Lou’s knees and back, almost immediately Lou was curling into his, murmuring something before falling asleep again.

 

 

“Who’s that?” Harry heard his father asked from the doorway when he was trying to carry Lou into his room.

 

 

“Um, just a friend, who slept over- he was sick uh, and we had to take care of him-“Harry tried to whisper shout as loud as he could. He didn’t hear his father’s reply when he entered his room he assumed his father didn’t question any further because he didn’t follow Harry to his room nor was he pressing further on that matter. Harry laid Lou on the bed and the boy’s eyes fluttered open ever so gracefully.

 

 

“Harry?”

 

 

“Shh, love, sleep. I need to talk to my father for a moment, just don’t come out okay? When I’m done I’ll make you lunch.”

 

 

Lou bit his lip and nodded before he pulled the blanket over his shoulders, closing his eyes once more.

 

 

When Harry returned to his father he found the older Styles still standing at the doorway with his coat on, obviously having no intention of staying any longer – not that Harry minded one bit. The sooner his father leaves, the better, so he could tend to Lou’s needs.

 

 

“He’s a bit small for his age,  _eh_?”

 

 

Harry blinked, not really sure what his father was saying.

 

 

“ _Your friend_ ,” Bernard gestured towards Harry’s room, “He’s small for someone around your age.”

 

 

It took a moment for Harry to realise that his father was talking about Lou.

 

 

“Uh, yeah, it’s his genetics,” Harry tried wracking his brain for any familial disorders that causes stunted growth but he couldn’t, seeing how nervous he was, so he tried changing the topic, “actually he’s a friend of Zayn’s, we had a couple of drinks together for last few nights.”

 

 

“Malik? Well how irresponsible of him leaving his friend under your care. I told you he is bad news, I even offered to pay for you moving out of this –,” Bernard flailed his arms, “- this rather dingy apartment, but you refused. I bet this whole, ‘I want to be a musician and quit medical school’ was his idea or at least,  _his_  influence.”

                       

 

Harry was glad they were out of the Lou topic but he was rather offended that his father was criticizing his friends, as usual. It was very clear that Dr. Styles didn’t like his only son hanging out with someone of no educational background, and it gets on Harry’s nerves that his father was trying to control him on everything, his clothes, his studies, his friends –  _his life_.   
  


 

“Zayn doesn’t have anything to do with what I want, father.”

 

 

“The boy is bad news.”

 

 

“Just because Zayn doesn’t come from a rich family and continues his degree in some professional course doesn’t make him bad news, father!”

 

 

“Only after you met him all this music shenanigans started. I didn’t pay your guitar classes for you to be a musician. I did because I wanted you to have a hobby but it seems it backfired.”

 

 

Harry was growing impatient, he didn’t want to have the whole argument about Zayn again, they did once over Christmas break and the first thing his father said to him after he had met Zayn, all covered in tattoos and piecing was, “why would you associate with such people, Harold?”

 

 

“Look,” he said, straining his voice because if he let go, he was sure he would scream at his father – though at this moment he could care less about being disrespectful, “will you come in and have tea, so we can talk like civilized men?”

 

 

Bernard looked over his wrist watch and shook his head, “I have a meeting to attend to. I just came to find out whether I should continue funding you or not.”

 

 

Honestly, Harry didn’t give a flying fuck about his father’s money but then Lou’s face flashed infront of his eyes and suddenly, he needed to do this. He really hated admitting defeat, especially to a person such as his father who had tasted victories for so long. He just wanted his father to fall on his knees and lose but not this time it seems. Not when cutting all his funds meaning he couldn’t be able to take care of Lou while he still can. Not when it could mean he wouldn’t be able to take care of Lou, help him at least.

 

 

“I decided to continue medical school. I apologise for-,” it strained Harry to apologise for something he wasn’t sorry for, especially for something like wanting his freedom, “I apologise for being rude to you earlier.”

 

 

A smile played on his father’s lips and he extended his hand to pat on Harry’s shoulder, obviously pleased to hear Harry’s answer.

 

 

“Good, I shall be on my way now, my son,” he kissed Harry’s temple, giving Harry’s cheek a light pat and another smile, “stay out of trouble, okay?”

 

 

Harry nodded, forcing himself into a small smile. Well, that’s what he could manage now. He waved his father off, watching the older man walking back towards his car where his driver was waiting – Dawson – his father’s driver for as long as he could remember. Back when he was still living with his parents he’d recall Dawson driving them to places for dinner or posh parties Harry didn’t want to go but was forced to. Each year he looked older than he was before, just like his father was and Harry feared that one day he’d become exactly like his old man – something he loathed.

 

 

Once his father’s car was out of sight, he shut the door, locking it. As he was making his way to the kitchen to make lunch (he was planning on a simple sandwich and chips, something easy to make and wouldn’t take too much time thinking that Lou would most probably be hungry) he noticed that the door to his room was slightly open. He recalled shutting it tight before talking to his father, Lou was probably awake but where was the boy?

 

 

“Lou?”

 

 

The little brunette was no longer in bed but rather, curled up in a corner with eyes red and fresh tears still streaming down his fair cheeks. Seeing Lou’s condition, Harry rushed over towards his kneeling and reaching out for the boy, but he was returned with a harsh glare.

 

“Don’t touch me!” Lou screamed, pressing his body to the wall. His eyes showed nothing but pure panic and fear, something he saw in Lou back then when Harry found him, for some reason it was like a slight stab to his heart knowing that Lou was scared of him, again.

 

 

“Lou, what’s wrong? It’s me, Harry-“

 

 

Lou’s voice cut him off, “ _Shut up! You liar_!”

 

 

Harry’s brows furrowed. Liar? Yeah he lied to his father and Margaret about Lou but never to Lou himself.  He would never lie to Lou.

 

 

“Lou, I don’t understand- I’d never lie to you-“

 

 

“You  _did_! You  _lied_  to me! You told me you’d help me! You’d never let those men have me again!”

 

 

“And I’ll keep to my word, Lou, believe me!” Harry tried to tell him, holding one of his hands to his chest, right above his heart. Damn, it was beginning to hurt badly hearing Lou screaming at him, angry at him –  _worst_ , not believing him.

 

 

“No, you’ll say that! You’ll say that, gain my trust and then you’ll hand me over to them! So they could- they could hurt me again!” Lou sobbed, chest heaving badly.

 

 

“I wouldn’t-“

 

 

“I saw you! I saw you with that  _man_! You invited  _him_  into your home! You were talking to  _him_!”

 

 

“Who, Lou? That man a moment ago? But he’s my-“

 

 

Before Harry could even utter the word father, Lou spoke in a voice almost breaking because he had been screaming and crying so hard, “he’s one of those men-“

 

Harry’s eyes widened in shock and he could see his father, he could see his father on his twelfth birthday, one of the birthdays his father was able to attend to and he was smiling at Harry when he gave him his birthday present – a  _microscope_ , Harry didn’t want it though, it was a horrible birthday present but it was something from his  _father_ , his father that was rarely around the house so he loved that gift, loved it with all his heart that he even kept it still back in his room at his parent’s house. Then he could see his father as he told him how proud he was when Harry was enrolled to one of the best medical schools, his father’s face when he told him he didn’t want to continue his studies –  _his father_  – he could see his father wearing something like an orderly uniform giving Lou a slap across the face – Lou screamed and his father laughed –

 

“Did my father hurt you, Lou?” Harry asked, his fingers clenched into fists as he tried to contain his anger towards the man he called his own father, “was he the one that –“

 

 

“He’s one of those men- that gives orders from above.”

 


	14. thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry made a promise to Lou

_“He was the one that gave the orders from above.”_

_The cell door was flung open, there was a million creaking sounds emitting from its hard metal hinges that created a pseudo image as if a million doors were opening the same time. But Lou knew, he was the only one there, he was the only human there, kept alongside animals that had their fates written in the damned computers those men in white coats type in. Most of them dead by the morning as multiple coloured liquids were injected in them, some survived but none without permanent damage be it physically or mentally._

_Lou considered himself as one of those animals, trapped in a cage, at the mercy of these men. These men who saw him as nothing but a piece of meat, a rag doll, a little lab rat._

_He scrambled off his bed and to a corner as three men entered his little cell. He knew this routine very well, he knew they’d come but every time they do, he couldn’t help but feel like crying or screaming for his life. It wasn’t death he was afraid of; in fact, he yearned for death because what these men had in mind for him was far worse than your life leaving your pathetic body. He wished that every blow he received from their batons, every thrust of their enormous manhood into his tiny body, he’d received some kind of pity from the powers above – to take his life, his pitiful meaningless life._

_“It’s too bad last time didn’t get you bloated with our babies, too bad for you that is-“one man spoke, smirking showing his rotten teeth at the boy. He must’ve been a chronic smoker, Lou deduced, his father used to smoke, his breath would always stink of it every time he wanted to plant a kiss on his forehead – wait – he had a father? Lou couldn’t recall._

_“Too bad for you, but not for us,” another man, a lot skinnier and younger than the other two continued, “We get to have more fun with you.”_

_The other man, fat and with a mole to the right of his eyes laughed, along with his coworkers. Their cynical laughter bounced on the white walls of Lou’s cell room and he closed his ears, it was too loud, it was always too loud after the drug the doctors gave him wore off. He wished the doctors would just put him to sleep, let them have their way with him without him being conscious. It was a lot more bearable than having to stay awake and having to endure all those torture they inflicted on him. Of course they were never considerate of how he would feel. Because to them Lou was just another animal. Another animal without a say, without a right – chained to them for eternity – their property._

_The man that smelt of drag step forward towards him and Lou wanted to dig a hole and bury himself. Despite Lou’s whimpering and screams for him to stay away, the man harshly grabbed his wrists. Lou was small, Lou was a child, and when faced with a man much bigger, much stronger, his efforts were wasted, futile. He was easily dragged out of his corner and slammed onto the bed, his arms brought up above his head and almost instantly they tied his wrists together with one of their belts. As Lou struggled, the leather edge burrowed into his skin, drawing blood, reopening the wounds he had from the same occurrences earlier._

_He wondered why he struggled. It was as if he thought they’d take pity on him or get the message that he didn’t want this and leave. They never did though. They never leave him alone without hurting him inside out._

_“Gonna get you filled up with our babies, eh,” the skinny one breathed into Lou’s ear as one of his hands were up to Lou’s cheeks and the other unbuckling his pants, “all three of us, and we’re going to see whose baby will win inside you. and when you get pregnant, we’ll be famous for knocking up the first male ever-”_

_Lou whimpered when he could feel the light gown he was wearing being lifted up to his chest, his legs forced to spread by the two other men holding his ankles, both pair of eyes hungry, waiting for their turn to come soon enough. He plead to them with his eyes one more time, tears and sobs escaping involuntarily, before all he could feel was that familiar excruciating pain of being forced open and he screamed till his voice box broke._

_“Take it, Lou.”_

_“Stop your fucking screaming, Lou.”_

_“Lou.”_

“Lou!”

 

“Get away from me!”

 

“Lou, calm down!”

 

“Let me go! Let me go! Let. Me.  _Go_!”

 

Lou’s trashing legs hit one of the lamps on the bed side table and it crashed to the ground, knocking over Harry’s electric alarm clock too. At that moment though, he could care less about the broken shards of the lamp or the way the neon green numbers of the alarm clock flicker because he needed to calm Lou down from his fit. He was struggling with all his might to get away from Harry’s arms which made Harry wonder how such a tiny figure could have such stamina and determination.

 

With an elbow to Harry’s stomach, Lou was able to free himself from Harry’s arms as the other lad crumbled to the ground in pain. Harry was quick to recover, chasing after Lou as he made his way out of the door with nothing but Harry’s jumper, sweatpants and no shoes.

 

“Lou!” he called after the small boy running into the park infront of Harry and Zayn’s apartment with his tiny feet dug into the snow. The cold didn’t seem to slow him down one bit but Harry managed to use his long lean legs to catch up to him.

 

People walking on the street only stood and watched as Harry chased Lou across the park. They ducked tree branches and children’s playground. Harry nearly tripped over frozen water in the middle of the park; the scene itself looked like some sort of lame gag from a B-grade movie. Despite him not being athletic as much, he was able to run after Lou like a champion.

 

“Watch out!”

 

Lou was heading towards the street on the other side of the park. He wasn’t looking left or right and because of that he didn’t see and incoming car driven by a grandmother too old to even still have her driving license. By the time she saw Lou, both of her feet was on her brakes but because the ice covering the tarred road, her car was having a hard time to stop from inertia. She was inches away from crushing Lou’s small body and throwing him up onto the windscreen with probably one broken limb and a cracked skull, but Harry was quick, he snatched Lou just in time before the impact and they both fell onto the sidewalk, breathing heavily, Lou within Harry’s arms.

 

Both were hyperventilating, unsure of the cause – it was either because of their running or because they just cheated death. Despite their little scuffle back at the apartment, Lou seemed to forget all about his revelation on Harry’s father and seemed to seek comfort in the older man’s embrace. He was just seconds from being crushed to bits, of course he was shaken up so he reached the nearest sort of warmth, comfort and protection there was and yes, he found it in Harry. Harry’s long arms enveloped him like a cocoon, sheltering him from the eyes of the people that passed by, sheltering him from the dangers the world throws at him and he wondered why it took him so long to find Harry. Why wasn’t Harry there to save him from those men from the start?

 

Harry’s breath evened out; better than he was before where his heart was running two hundred beats per minute. The boy in his arms was still shaking, silently crying with his face buried into Harry’s chest. It was cold; he knew the boy would feel a lot colder – at least Harry had shoes on and proper pants. He needed to get Lou to warmth before he falls ill. In the background he could hear the old woman driving the car that nearly ran them over yelling profanities at them, shouting about how a bunch of kids these days don’t value their lives before driving off, Harry only managed to mutter a half hearted sorry to her.

 

“Come on, love, let’s go  _home_ ,” Harry said as he kissed the top of Louis’ head, standing up with the boy still in his arms. Lou didn’t protest, not like he was earlier, he had appeared somehow weaker than he was before. Harry deduced it was the cold and probably from all that running too. Although his own muscle was aching, he just wanted to get Lou back to the apartment – where they could light up the furnace and Harry could make him hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. The whole trip back to the house, Harry held Lou’s head to his chest, making sure that he was fully protected from curious eyes.

 

Once he made it back, he shut the door with his foot and gently drop Lou to the ground only to catch him again when the boy nearly crumpled, shrieking in pain. Apparently Lou had cut his right foot; there was a large clean cut – like it was made out of broken glass – right across the arch of Lou’s foot, fresh red blood oozing out of the torn skin. He felt woozy, he was never good with handling blood but he needed to fix Lou’s wound before it gets infected ( waiting for Zayn would take another few hours ) so he sucked in the bile that threatened to just explode out of his mouth, putting a brave face on.

 

“Shit,” Harry muttered to himself, picking Lou up once more and placing him on the sofa. He then went to get the first aid. Once the wound was disinfected and bandaged, he gently places a hand over Lou’s forehead, caressing his fringe back gently.

 

“Now we know, not to run outside without our shoes.”

 

Lou blushed, turning over to so he could hide his face away from Harry.

 

“It wasn’t your fault, love,” Harry sighed, his hand still playing with the Lou’s feathery soft hair, “I don’t blame you for freaking out, I’d go crazy too if I found out Zayn’s father is responsible for making my life hell. And honestly speaking, I, too, was shocked about it. My father… he- he hurt you-“

 

“He didn’t hurt me,” finally Lou spoke, his voice timid and muffled, “the doctors and those men in white hurt me – your father-“

_“Start him up with a new dosage, we need something in him that could keep those hormones level up-“_

_“Why isn’t he pregnant yet!? I don’t believe incompetence was part of your resumes!”_

Lou gulped as flashes of Dr. Bernard Styles ran across his eyes, “- I’ve only seen him once or twice- and he told those doctors to put something in me, he told those men to – but he didn’t, he didn’t hurt me.”

 

“He didn’t hurt you physically but he was responsible for hurting you! He made those men hurt you! Which makes him as horrible as those bastards that inflicted those wounds on you, raped you-“

 

Lou’s body started to shake once more as tiny sobbing was heard. Harry placed a kiss on the boy’s exposed neck, just like he did earlier at the hospital because apparently it seemed to calm the boy down. He was able to gently tug Lou into a hug, feeling the boy’s warmth pressed against him but as Lou’s hands touch the base of his neck, he realised how cold it was. It must’ve been, Lou was out there in nothing that could help maintain his body temperature to a normal level.

“Lou, love, please don’t cry.”

 

”Bu-but you’re- you’re going to send me back to them- you’re going to send me back to your father’s men-“

 

“No, Lou, no, never-! Not ever, I need to cross over my own dead body first before I’d allow myself to return you to those men! If one thing you have to know about me, Lou, is that I am  _not_  my father. He wanted me to be, but I am not him, I never will be him. He maybe my father and I am his son, but what he did to you was beyond animalistic, hurting a child for their own profit- I just, I just can’t believe my father would go that far- oh, god, Lou, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for what he did to you. For what they did to you- I’m sorry-I’m really really sorry. ”

 

Harry felt tiny hands pressed to his back as Lou snuggled deeper into Harry’s warmth. He felt warm breath on his ear as the boy spoke with such desperation laced along with the broken voice, “please don’t send me back, Harry.”

 

“I won’t, Lou, I won’t,” Harry replied, kissing the side of Lou’s neck repeatedly.

 

“ _Promise?_ ”

 

“Promise.”


	15. fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finally realises how much he wanted to kiss Lou

The next time harry blinked, he watched Lou being taken away by two large men in white, both of their faces expressionless as they dragged the smaller boy.

 

Lou trashed his body around, one hand still holding on to Harry's. Tears streamed down his face as he screamed for the curly haired lad, begging him to not let the men take him back to where they could keep him locked up and no one could hear him, where everyone treated him like an animal. 

 

Harry tried to pull him back, holding on tight to Lou's hand like it was his life line. He demanded that those men let Lou go but his and Lou's cries fell onto deaf ears. The men kept pulling and so did harry. Though harry had been working out, going to the gym to work on his upper body, the strength of two men familiar with this kind of situation made it seem easy for them and harry was just a thin rope pulling connecting an anchor to a ship washed away by waves.

 

Eventually the rope will snap, the force of the waves far to great just how Lou's tiny hands slipped out of Harry's larger ones and he watched as the boy that he grew to care in just a few days be taken away from him into the building he recognized as his father's company's laboratory.

 

Darkness devoured him and the next time he was able to open his eyes, he was inside the building. The hallways seemed to stretch forever and there were a variety noises. Those noises were made by the animals in the cages, screeching, growling, fretting, hoping that their fate would change, that somehow by making these  _noises_ , by slamming their paws, scratching their claws on the metal walls would somehow free them from their confinements. All hopes were lost but they didn’t seem like they were ready to give up any moment even with such certain unfortunate future.

 

There was one sound, one voice, made by one person in particular, that caught Harry's attention. The voice of a young boy, a young tortured boy, stood out against every single deafening sound there was in the hallway. And Harry chased after that voice, running as fast as he could across the hallway, running after the voice as it became nearer with every step he took. The noises of those animals, they seemed to be bouncing off the walls only that they came from nowhere, there were no cages in sight, not a single animal even, just white walls, clean white walls that created a pseudo image of how everything was. Pure white, tainted by red blood was more like it in Harry's mind. The perfect description for his father's laboratory. Creating pharmaceutics to increase the quality of life but behind closed doors, they tortured another.

 

Harry finally reached a single door at the end of the hallway. It was large, grey and metal. There wasn't any knob, just a key card slot and a small doggie chute, probably used to slot in meals for the subject - more precisely, prisoner - they kept inside.

 

Harry banged on the door, calling out for Lou who he could clearly hear his voice from where he was standing. It seems like the other noises had disappeared and all Harry could hear was grunting, murmurs, the sound of skin being slapped and Lou crying, coming from the inside.  _Don’t hurt_ _him,_ harry begged for the people inside, anger building inside him when he heard one of those men shutting Lou up with a slap to his face. Harry grew impatient and desperate. An innocent boy was being abused on the other side. More precisely, an innocent boy he grew to care for was being abused on the inside and Harry count just stand there doing nothing.

 

He kneeled down, got on his fours and peeked through the chute.

 

What he wasn't hoping for was right before his eyes. Lou was pinned down to the bed, his arms held by two men as one particularly large man, with a beer belly had his pants down and he was shoving his manhood, forcefully, into the helpless boy. With each thrust the man made Lou screamed, his face red and puffy from the pain and crying.

 

Harry cried for Lou, he hit the ground with his fists as he yelled at those men to stop and calling out for the boy with pretty blue eyes, telling him to stay strong, keep awake because it will all be over soon though he wasn’t sure of that himself. A part of him was able to go through the chute and it was his arm, so Harry reached in, reaching out his hand for Lou to grab it. But Lou didn’t seem to notice that Harry was there, that Harry was reaching out for him. His eyes were shut tight as he struggled with every little energy left in his body, fighting those men, not wanting them to ever think they could have him easily. And then Harry finally saw Lou’s body went limp yet the man’s movements didn’t falter one bit. Even though they had abused him till losing his consciousness, they didn’t even have little sympathy for the boy to stop. They went on with their barbaric actions, laughing at how Lou was no longer awake and how it was easier for them now.

 

Harry couldn’t watch anymore. He could watch them hurt a defenseless little boy.  So he got on his feet once more and started banging on the door harder, at one point he even kicked the metal door repeatedly. The sound was loud enough, how could the men inside didn’t notice? How could they kept with their cruel act and ignore someone who saw them?

 

Eventually everything  died down, leaving nothing but eerie silence and the door was unlocked from the inside. Harry took a step back, seeing only red with his fists clenching and unclenching, prepared to throw a few punches at each of those men that were  hurting little Lou. He anticipated them to walk out, laughing cynically at what they had done but none did. The door went ajar, only a little but no one came out. Harry could only see darkness beyond the small opening of the door.

 

Harry decided he wasn’t going to wait for them to come out then, he was going in there to chase after them and see whether Lou was okay. But he didn’t see what he thought he would see once he was inside the room. There were no men in white – one tall, one fat and one probably of another native; there were nothing he saw just moments ago in white but a single metal surgery bed in the centre of the room.

 

On the bed was Lou, wearing the hospital gown Harry had first saw him on the first day they met. That day that changed Harry’s life, the day he realised how demented, cruel and unfair the world could be -the day he began sacrificing his own happiness for a single boy who couldn’t remember his own name. Lou was asleep, or probably worst, seeing how pale he was and how his gown was hiked up to his chest and there was a large surgically made wound across his stomach with fresh blood staining the skin around the wound.

 

Harry chocked out a sob, holding his hand to his mouth when he saw Lou in that condition. All drained of blood with probably a child, a child they forced him to conceive taken away from him. It was just like how Lou had said, Lou belonged to them, he is nothing but their mere property – to be used and disposed whenever they wanted to. And now, once they had gotten what they wanted a child out of a male’s body, they left him there, on the surgeryn bed to die – or dead.

 

He was crying because such a young child shouldn’t have endured such torture. Such innocence shouldn’t be taken away so easily, so fast.  He was crying because they didn’t even bother to cover Lou up when they’re done. He was crying because after all they did to Lou, they didn’t have the decency to at least preserve the little honour he had in him. But mostly he was crying because he wasn’t there for Lou, he wasn’t there to save him, he was  _too_  late. He promised to keep Lou safe and he broke that promise because he was weak.

 

Blood would always send him to the toilet bowl or into another one of his fainting spells but not then. Not when his main concern was not his own but the boy who laid unmoving on the operation table with his belly cut open. As he neared Lou he was able to see that they boy’s eyes weren’t completely closed, they were slightly parted and Harry could see the blue from the inside but one thing was for sure, the blue was duller than it was ever before. At least before Harry could see how some glint of life was returning whenever Harry made the boy delicious meals, on when Lou was watching telly or playing games with Zayn. Now there wasn’t even a trace of that innocent soul Harry had been searching for and he knew then that his father’s men had succeeded taking Lou away from him.

 

“Oh, Lou,” he cried, holding on to Lou’s face, rubbing the cold cheeks with his thumbs, “oh, Lou, baby, wake up, oh, sweetheart…” There was that clench in his heart, knowing that he wanted to call Lou so much more pet names just to let him know that someone cared for him and now he couldn’t because he was certainly sure Lou was dead. He wanted to shower Lou with all the goodness in the world because clearly, he wasn’t given enough. Lou was young and bitter and that wasn’t his fault, none of it was. He didn’t deserve to be lying here, lifeless; he didn’t deserve to be treated so badly, he didn’t deserve any of the crying or pain. He deserved none of it.

 

As Harry cried, caressing Lou’s hair back and holding his cold hand, his blue eyes suddenly shot open, Harry nearly falling back on his bum.

 

“You did this, Harry,” Lou suddenly spoke, voice and face absolutely missing any expression at all. Cold dead eyes piercing back into Harry’s soul.

 

“Lou, I didn’t-“

 

“You did this.  _You_  did.”

 

Lou sat up and Harry fell back. It was as if he was no longer in pain despite that large wound on his belly still pouring out blood as he moved. Not once his eyes stray from Harry’s terrified ones. His face, his voice, his eyes – everything about Lou at that moment just screamed death, death, death –  _dead_.

 

“No, I didn’t-“

 

“Yes! Yes you  _did_ , Harry!”

 

The lights of the room flickered as Lou raised his voice, it was as if some kind of poltergeist was happening – and it scared Harry shitless. He admitted he was scared when Lou held the broken shard of glass to his neck, he was scared when Lou told him about the monsters in the place he was kept in that tortured him, he was scared when he found out it was his father who was the ring leader of everything the Satan in a place ran by demons. But right now Harry was terrified beyond any reason because Lou was looking straight at him – with eyes that blamed  _him_.

 

“You did, Harry, this is all you’re doing. You-“Lou pointed his finger to Harry, “You are just like your  _father_.”

 

“No,” Harry denied but he was wearing a surgeon gown – sterilized for a surgery with blood drenching his gloved hands and the centre of his body, “No!” Harry kept denying but he was holding the scalpel in one hand, the scalpel used to cut Lou open as his anesthetists kept him unconscious. “No, it wasn’t me!” Harry refused to believe he was the one that made that big nasty wound on Lou’s stomach to take out the baby they had forcefully made the young boy conceive. He denied everything but he could see before his own eyes he ordered those men to rape Lou, he ordered those men to keep giving him all kinds of medicine, it was him who was delighted finding out that a baby – out of his hard work of implanting a uterus inside a boy, a live boy – was going to be delivered.  _He_  was the  _monster._

 

He was the monster.

 

Everything disappeared when he blinked once again. He was back at his and Zayn’s shared apartment. He was on the sofa and on the telly; an advert on kid’s shampoo was on. There was this weight on his right arm and when he looked down, a small boy was curled up to his side – sound asleep. He had to make sure this was real, he had to make sure that Lou was really here not back in what seemed to be just a dream moments ago. He frantically searched Lou’s face, cupping that tiny frame in his hands, waking the boy up.

 

Lou’s eyes slowly open; revealing bright blue eyes underneath that Harry thought was completely different than the one he had seen lying on the operation table or even back when he had first met him. There was a flicker of hope lit within those eyes- Harry could see it, and it was enough for Harry to feel at ease, his heart warming up and he could his stomach doing a little flip. He wasn’t happy to be woken up, Lou was groggy, pouting, trying to close his eyes again and whimpering, Harry thought it was really adorable and he really  _really_  wanted to kiss the boy.

 

So he did.

 

He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to one belonging to the younger, smaller lad. Lou’s lips were just how he imagined it to be- soft and gentle- and Lou being Lou, he froze, not knowing on how to react.  _That_  to Harry was the special part. He was used to kissing experienced girls, one who would push back against his lips roughly, hands snaking around his neck and pulling him down – they were heated kisses but with Lou, it was simple, it was gentle, it was pure, innocent – just like Louis. As Harry gently coaxed Lou into the kiss, licking and gently sucking on the shy boy’s lower lip, Lou began to respond. It’s not like he didn’t want them to be full on snogging but he liked it this way too, the way Lou shyly moved his lips against Harry’s the way the small hands clutch onto Harry’s shirt and they way Harry was able to wrap his arms around Lou’s torso bringing him closer. He loved everything about this.

 

Once they pulled apart, Harry regretted it immediately, he wanted to join their lips again for round two but knowing Lou’s condition, he didn’t to make Lou feel uncomfortable. So he leaned his forehead onto Lou’s, his hands at the side of the boy’s face and he smiled - loving the way Lou was looking at him with flustered cheeks and doe eyes.

 

“What was that?” Lou asked shyly after a few minutes of comfortable silence. His face still red and he hands was playing with Harry’s shirt.

 

Harry chuckled, “Do you not like it?”

 

“No- I do!” Lou answered way too fast but Harry didn’t mind it, he kissed the top of Lou’s head and hugging him tighter after.

 

“I’m glad. I just felt like doing that.”

 

“It feels nice.”

 

“Does it now?”

 

Lou giggled, nuzzling deeper into Harry’s chest.

 

“I don’t feel scared when I’m with you, Harry.”

 

And Harry’s gut twisted half bad and half good. The good part was that he was glad Lou was trusting him better and the other half – the bad – was the dream he had just now, how it felt so real, how it felt like he was the one betraying Lou. Even though he was determined to be the one that save this broken boy, there was that nagging in the back of his head – what if he couldn’t? What if he wasn’t able to and Lou ended up getting more hurt just like in his dream?

 

“I want to do it again,” Lou’s small voice spoke again, pulling Harry out of his own thoughts.

 

“Do what?” Harry asked, tilting his head to the said only to have his question answered when Lou got on his lap, then straddling him with his legs on each side of Harry’s thighs.

 

“This,” and this time it was Lou who initiated the kiss. His tiny hands rested on Harry’s shoulders and Harry wrapped his arms around the boy’s slim waist, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. Their lips moved slowly, lazily and yet, full of unsaid feelings. Their noses would bump with each other and their heads would move from side to side, adjusting, finding the perfect angle where their lips could waltz to a silent tune.

 

With time, Harry’s arms tightened around the boy, holding on to him like he was the only person that mattered to him. The only person he wanted to protect the only person he would sacrifice everything to and that was actually what he was doing in the short time span since he and Lou met. Harry learnt to give up almost everything in his life, he even continued medical school if it meant keeping Lou safe. And at that moment when their lips joined, when they kissed, Harry felt like  _everything_  was worth it.

 

Heck it was such an alien feeling, Harry only knew the boy for a couple of days and now he’s snogging him on his sofa. He had only kissed one boy before and that was Niall and they were drunk at a toga party. He didn’t remember a single detail of it (Harry himself had to watch videos of him and Niall in action taken at the party to actually believe he did it) but with Lou, the kiss, everything - he wanted to remember this his whole life.

 

Maybe he was attracted to men. No, that can’t be it, if he were to be shown gay porn Harry would find it repulsive still but with Lou – it’s different. Absolutely different, he wanted Lou. He wanted to-

 

“Harry, what the fuck?”

 

And he felt his body being pulled off from on top of Lou (when did they even switched positions?), pushed to the side. He only managed to register that it was Zayn who pulled him off Lou when he saw his best friend and housemate crossing his arms in front of him. Lou still on the sofa, scooted away from his – completely flustered with swollen lips.

 

“Lou, go to Harry’s room, will you?” Zayn ordered the boy, voice slightly authoritative. Without any questions or so, Lou scrambled onto his feet and padded his tiny feet on the wooden flooring to Harry’s room, closing the door gently behind him. Harry managed to catch a glimpse of those pretty blue eyes looking at him before the door was shut.

 

“Harry.” And Harry was finally facing Zayn – boy, he wished he didn’t. Why was Zayn looking at him so angrily? He didn’t feel like he had done anything wrong – nor did he?

 

“Harry, he’s a minor.”

 

 _Oh_. That’s it.

 

“He’s a child – fifteen – and you’re-“

 

“Twenty-two,” Harry groaned, “fuck.”

 

“Yeah, fuck. Look, I’m all out on you actually admitting that you’re not completely straight but please, not on the poor boy.”

 

“Zayn, I wasn’t experimenting on him – I actually wanted to kiss him and we did and there were sparks-“

 

“You could go to jail, Harold.”

 

And Harry groaned again, “I know alright – shit.”

 

“So have you fucked him yet?”

 

“What!? No!” Harry denied enthusiastically because no, they haven’t. They just snogged – not that bad right?

 

“Good, cos I don’t want to be calling the police on you.”

 

“No, Zayn, it’s nothing like that – I don’t even know what the fuck was that,  I just feel –“

 

“You’re falling, my dear Harold, for the little Lolita - Louis,” Zayn sneered, uncrossing his arms and placing his hands on his waist.

 

Harry didn’t want to admit it but maybe Harry was right. It was no longer that sincerity he had for Lou when he first met him – he just wanted to help back then – but now, he wanted to protect and care for the boy because he actually might – most probably – has feeling for him. And that’s bad because knowing their situation.

 

Harry pulled on his hair with both hands and grunted, “Shit,  _shit_ , Zee, what should I do?”

 

Zayn in return just shrugged before taking off his leather jacket and headed to the kitchen, “Now? Let’s just have dinner.”


	16. fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn doesn't approve

Zayn had been watching him like a hawk.

 

 

Whenever  _he_  was around, especially when it was the three of them, Zayn had his eyes set of Harry all the time. Whether it was breakfast lunch or dinner, or even just plain relaxing at the telly area – Zayn was on to him.

 

 

During one dinner, Lou had some pasta sauce over his bottom lip and when Harry pointed it out, he tried to wipe it off with his tongue, but because he was an adorable fuck, Lou kept missing the spot. His face was all scrunched up in concentration as he tried to find the pasta sauce with his tongue while Harry navigated him. Though it was really adorable and he could watch it all day – as Lou grew frustrated, his mouth turned into a cute little pout, Harry grew fonder of the boy – Harry really couldn’t help himself. He leaned over and wiped the smear off with his lips (while at it he took advantage of gently licking the little boy’s lips). Lou immediately turned red and started giggling like a little school girl but on the other hand, Zayn wasn’t too happy. He who was also at the dinner table during the incident gave Harry a kick to the sheen and mouthing the words ‘prison’ to his friend.

 

 

And then there was movie time, when Harry had gotten back from the evening hospital duties and Zayn’s shift was in the morning, they decided to settle the night with a movie. They chose Avatar, something not too complicated for a teenager who had been held captive for years like Lou to understand, and also because the boy had watched almost all the Disney movies available on Harry’s DVD rack. So usually Louis would have the whole armchair for himself, or he’d be sitting on the floor where it was the nearest to the screen, his eyes wide as he watched the characters moved in high definition. But lately he has been comfortable with the two older lads, especially Harry.

 

It was still a surprise to Zayn though when he walked in the living room with a bowl of fresh-out-of-the-oven popcorn to see Lou cuddled up close to his curly haired friend. Lou sat on Harry’s side, head on Harry’s chest while Harry had his arm protectively around the smaller boy. Harry would whisper words into Lou’s ear and he could hear Lou giggle with his face all pink. It was a cute scene and Zayn wouldn’t mind it too much if Lou wasn’t a minor and Zayn didn’t just catch his best friend snogging the child. So Zayn walked over behind them and gave Harry’s head a hard smack. When Harry scowled at him for doing so, he mouthed once again the word ‘prison’ for the millionth time that day.

 

 

“I’m not saying you’re not allowed to explore your newly found gay in you, you are, be my guest, I totally support you, being a gay man myself, but Haz, that’s why there are clubs littered all over town! So you don’t have to ruin an underage boy’s innocence,” Zayn said to his friend one afternoon they were having tea. Lou had fallen asleep after hours of drawing on an art block Zayn had bought for him. The poor child wasn’t allowed out without him or Harry but with them being busy on weekdays made it harder for them to take him out, so to cure the boredom, since he had been watching like thousands of SpongeBob episodes, Zayn had bought Lou some art materials. Being a free lance painter himself, Zayn let Lou explore his creative side with his own (expensive) crayons.

 

 

“I’m not exploring my newly found gay in me!  _Geez_! You think I’m some kind of man-whore that fucks around!”

 

 

Zayn raised a brow to that with a smug look on his face.

 

 

“Okay, whatever! I know I sleep around with girls-“

 

 

“Especially that red haired bitch, what’s her name – Magenta?”

 

 

Harry laughed. Zayn made it completely obvious that he  _hated_  Margaret, because whenever she’s around, she always thinks she owns the place; ordering Zayn to make her breakfast whenever Harry wasn’t up yet or changing the channels when Zayn was watching the telly.

 

 

“Margaret, Zee,  _Mar-ga-ret_. And fuck it, when was the last time I bring any girl home, huh?” Zayn was about to say last week, like how he always did whenever Harry threw him that questions but it seems, at that point when they had the conversation, that wasn’t the case – Harry hadn’t gotten anyone over since the arrival of a mysterious blue eyed boy. So, Zayn closed his mouth again and had his pointing finger to his chin.

 

 

“ _Exactly_ ,” Harry triumphed in victory, “It was before I found Lou.”

 

“And that was just two weeks ago,  _big deal_!”  
  


 

“Oh, shut up, you know this is the longest since I got laid with any girl for that matter, not just Maggie, isn’t that saying something about me and Lou?”

 

 

Zayn leaned forward and gave a little flick with his fingers to Harry’s forehead. It was a simple action but painful nonetheless causing the other lad to groan in pain, rubbing the sore spot on his wide forehead.

 

 

“Ow! What the fuck _, Zee_!”

 

 

“This wouldn’t be a problem, if you’re admitting you’re falling – badly – for another male – may I remind you with a fucking dick – let me just say I fucking told you so, but,  _but_ he is a fucking child, Harry!”

 

 

“He’s already fifteen-“

 

 

“No!  _No_!” this time the raven haired lad gave his friend’s forehead a smack, ignoring how Harry was cursing and grunting, nearly falling of the bar stool he was sitting on, “No, Harry Motherfucking – _literally_  – Styles,  _No_! He’s not already fifteen years old, no; he’s just fifteen years old! On top of that, severe neglect syndrome with past –  _brutal –_  abusive history – I’m just saying, don’t fucking ruin him, Harry! He’s already hurt enough!”

 

 

Harry cocked a brow, “Somehow I feel like you’re not doing this just because he’s underage…”

 

 

“Of course I’m not! Lou had been under my care too, if you hadn’t noticed, and don’t you think I might start to actually care for him too? And I’m not saying I want to kiss of fuck him-“

 

 

“- I don’t want to fuck him! Well, at least not yet!”

 

 

“Shut up, Styles! My point is – I maybe don’t care for him like you do, but I do care for him alright and I don’t want you breaking him any further because hadn’t he been through enough shit already?”

 

 

Harry gasped dramatically, feigning hurt – though he was a little bit now knowing his friend didn’t trust him that way, “you underestimate me.”  
  


 

“I do not. I just so happen to be friends with you since fucking grade one!”

 

 

“Then you would know that I will never do anything to hurt, Louis.”

 

 

With that being said, Harry chugged down the remaining of his tea and dumped the mug into the sink, giving Zayn who was slumping in defeat and shaking his head a pat on the back. He decided to check up on Lou before continuing his studies on common genetic diseases but it wasn’t before hearing Zayn telling him how he won’t hesitate to punch Harry and kick him out of he ever decided to make Lou cry one more time.

 

 

Lou was like a cat. That was how Harry found him. Curled up into a ball (like how a cat would sleep) with an art block tucked underneath him and Zayn’s crayons scattered around. There were also his drawings on one side, where he had tore the paper sheet from the block. Zayn had taught him how to draw a simple bear, simple stick humans and soon, Louis was drawing like a master.

 

 

It started off innocent, drawings of Harry – and obvious extra long stick person with suck unruly curly hair- and Zayn – a darker coloured stick human with jet black hair into a neat quiff. Then it was people who walk their dogs down street, ones which Lou observed in a daily basis. The more recent drawings were a little bit more disturbing.

 

 

There were cats and dogs in cages, with tears out of their eyes. then there were men in white, stick men wearing oversized white shirts and their eyes red – it’s a wonder that Lou had paid great attention to their eyes, the red crayon appeared like it was pressed hard onto the paper, creating red dusts and smeared colours. then there was a picture of a small boy in a corner, in which Harry deduced it was Lou himself – the odd thing was the boy was smiling, not scared of those men in white and the caged animals – it was probably because he was holding a the hand of the tall lanky stick man with curly hair.

 

 

Harry smile fondly at the boy sleeping there, gently pushing his fringe out of his closed eyes. Harry could tell Lou was having dreaming, his eyeballs moving rapidly underneath his closed eyelids and he couldn’t help but wonder, what could the tiny boy possibly be dreaming? His curiosty ended, knowing it was nothing pleasant as Lou’s eyes movements became frantic, his brow furrowed and his face contorted like those seeing bad things happening in front of them or in Lou’s case, bad things  _did_  happen to him.

 

 

“No…,” Louis whimpered, struggling as Harry grabbed his wrists, trying to pull Lou into his arms.

 

 

There was resistance, but Lou being asleep (or barely), it was much easier for Harry to get Lou into his lap. The smaller boy fitting perfectly within his embrace, like a puzzle piece, it was as if their bodies were made for each other.

 

 

“Lou. Lou, babe, I’m right here. It’s me, Harry.”

 

 

Louis sobbed, his eyes still closed but he leaned in into Harry’s touch, being oh so familiar with everything that was Harry - his scent, his touch, his voice. He didn’t calm down though, his tiny framed shook violently as he cried his heart out onto Harry’s chest, the grey shirt the taller lad was wearing dampened with Lou’s shed tears. It was as if someone had clenched his heart with their hands when he heard Lou cry that way, his stomach doing weird turnings – the complete opposite of how his stomach would flip every time Lou smiled. This uneasiness, it was like a plaque – destroying every bit of beauty they had in their relationship – and to Lou (and probably Harry too), it was his  _past_.

 

 

“I don’t want to see them anymore, Harry,” Lou cried, knuckles white as he fisted Harry’s shirt. The other boy just shushed him gently, kissing the top of Lou’s head repeatedly, “ I don’t want to see them but every time I close my eyes, every time I sleep I see them-“

 

 

“Babe, you know those are just dreams- nightmares, they aren’t getting to you ever again not when I’m around-“

 

 

“But I feel it, I feel it Harry! Their eyes are still on me, their hands, their machines, their bindings- my baby- my baby- I still feel it right here, right  _here_ -,” sobbing, Lou clasped his hand over his flat stomach. His red eyes, puffy, fixed on Harry’s concerned ones, “I feel it in me though it’s no longer there- Harry- what’s wrong with me?” it was as if he was pleading, pleading for Harry to have some sort of explanation, or some sort of resolution for all these pain he had been suffering but most of all, he was pleading for Harry to take the pain the way.

 

 

“What’s wrong with me, Harry? What’s wrong with me?” Lou chanted as fresh tears formed, rolling down his cheeks. Harry’s heart break with each cry Lou made, to each word Lou said and each time he asked Harry what had he done for something like this be happening to him.

 

“Oh, Lou, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you,” Harry spoke against the soft strands of Lou’s hair. He held Lou so tightly to him but the other boy didn’t even resist.

 

 

“Why didn’t mummy want me anymore, Harry? What’s wrong with me?”

 

 

“Lou,” Harry now held Lou’s face in his hands, forcing the timid boy to look at him with tear stained cheeks and red eyes, “Lou, listen to me. There’s nothing wrong with you, there’s absolutely  _nothing_ wrong with you,” he said sternly, emphasizing on each of his words, “It’s them who has something wrong in their heads.”

 

Louis sobbed, he looked down to his own fists which were clutched to Harry’s shirt then he looked up once  more, eyes bigger than before.

 

Harry continued, “They’re the ones who have these twisted minds, to hurt you – they’re the ones who are sick in the head, not you, Lou, there’s nothing wrong with you. you’re just hurt, you were hurt by them and you’re just used to being hurt by them anymore so you- you start seeing, feeling things, you remember them and it’s not your fault you do – they did terrible things to you and it takes a while for you to stop remembering those things.”

 

 

Lou’s face scrunched up worriedly, “will I  see the-them forever?”

 

 

“No, Lou, no,” Harry assured, gently caressing the side of Lou’s face, hearing the boy somewhat purr, “You won’t. You can try to forget them- to feel better, you can, you just have to believe in yourself that you did nothing wrong and it wasn’t your fault.”

 

 

Lou who had been closing his eyes, opened them and this time no tears were shed, just beautiful pair of blue diamonds staring right back at Harry “Will you help me, Harry?”

 

 

“ _Of course_ ,” Harry answered almost immediately, “I will be here for you, Lou, I’ll help you rid of those monsters in your head, rid of all the nightmares you have seen and replace those harsh touches with gentle ones-“

 

Lou’s faced brightened up, “Like one of those kisses?”

 

 

Harry chuckled and smiled fondly at the boy, nodding, “yes, like one of those kisses.”

 

 

And like that their lips were connected. Despite Zayn’s warnings of developing feelings for Lou and warnings as Lou was just like an innocent child yet to know the meaning of heartbreak – Harry kissed Louis still. Vowing how he’d never heard Lou the way Zayn thought he would because this, this wasn’t some shady getting together like how he was with other girls. This right here, kissing Lou was probably the best thing that has happened to him and Harry could feel, Lou feels the same.

 

 

As he gently sucked on Lou’s tongue, Harry felt eyes on him so he opened his and saw Zayn watching from where he stood, just at the entrance of the hallway leading to their rooms with his shoulder to the wall, his arms crossed in front of him.

 

 

For once Zayn didn’t give him the angry glare or mouthed the word ‘prison’ to Harry but just smiled, shaking his head and left, entering his room and shutting the door gently, not wanting to interrupt.

 

 

Once Zayn left, Harry tightened his hold on Lou, loving the feeling of the smaller boy’s arms around his neck – and he kissed him for a little while longer, not leading to anything sexual, just keeping it sweet and gentle.

 

 

Until the door bell rang.


	17. sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam calls to update Harry

_Until the door bell rang._

As the sound echoed to every part of the house, waking even the sleepiest most drowsiest part, Harry and Lou broke off from their kiss; their eyes quickly darted towards the door. Even Zayn who had earlier went inside his room poked his head out the crack he made between the door and it’s frame, he was topless, just preparing to take a nap before his shift at the café but his plans were put on hold when the bell rang.

 

Zayn looked and Harry and vice versa, both questioning each other without words exchange yet the question remained the same –  _did you invite someone over_?

 

Of course, Zayn just shrugged because he didn’t remember calling someone up to come over especially on nights he had to work. He wouldn’t say he didn’t have any friends he did, there were his co-workers at the café, his artist friends from the nearby studio, Liam – his on and off ex and well, Niall, who he came acquainted because of Harry. If he really had invited someone over he would admitted.

 

Seeing that Zayn was temporarily indecent, with his olive skinned abs exposed and those really tiny boxer shorts, Harry gently laid Lou on the sofa so he could answer the door. The small bow cowered behind the back rest of the sofa, only the top of his head visible – blue eyes eyeing the door warily.

 

“Stay put, babe,” Harry said, kissing the top of Lou’s head before heading towards the door, feeling as Lou’s fingers slip away from where it was tugging on Harry’s shirt. He could hear Louis muttered his name but he just brought his finger to his lips, silencing the younger one.

 

Zayn was there by Lou’s side in an instance, though he was only dressed to bed, he could care less. If it was someone who wanted to hurt the boy at the door, Zayn won’t hesitate to grab Lou and make a run for it, yes, even with just a pair of boxers (the boxers Liam gave him for his birthday last year).

 

The silence was unnerving. If it was Niall or Liam, they would knock again and the ones inside could either hear an Irish accent coming from a dyed blonde medical student – Niall – or an almost annoyed posh accent of a doctor – Liam. But neither came and the feet shadows from the slit were still there, telling them that whoever was outside didn’t leave, neither was they their friends.

 

“Yes?” Harry questioned as he opened the door to an almost familiar man a black coat, underneath it was a uniform, all white – an orderly or a male nurse, Harry presumed it must’ve been the former seeing as calling someone a nurse made it seem that they were good. This man on the other hand, had dark grey eyes and a bald head. Call him judgmental; though he never meant to do so, but the man really looked like an escaped convict or a pirate, Harry wondered how he even earned the uniform.

 

“Good afternoon, sir, “the man spoke, voice almost like a duck quacking, “we’re from Charbaude’s Mental Rehab-“

 

“Never heard of it, “Harry cut him off, eyeing the man suspiciously, quirking an eyebrow and crossing his long arms in front of his chest. He knew immediately that this person standing in front of him was just like that orderly from the road block, the one who asked of Lou. Harry wasn’t dumb, neither was he forgetful.

 

“Ah, we’re a new intuition just outside of town,” the man lied smoothly, he even had the nerve to give Harry a courteous smile, showing his black teeth – a chronic smoker, Harry concluded, won’t be long till emphysema kicks in.

 

Harry played along, nodding, “I see. What brings you here at my doorstep on this lovely afternoon?”

 

“Well, sir, we recently had a break out. One of our… patients escaped.”

 

Harry’s eyes flickered to the living room for a moment, where Zayn was holding Lou, his hand over Lou’s mouth while he whispered in Lou’s ear for the boy to keep quiet.

 

“Our patient – he’s young with chronic schizophrenia,” the man continued, taking out a piece of paper from the stack he was holding. It was a familiar paper, a piece of paper given to Harry once. That particular paper where he had gotten from a road block he had tore into piece before throwing it into the fireplace, lighting it up.

 

Harry grabbed the paper and pretended to fully inspect it, pretended to read every line like he hadn’t before because in truth, he had. It was the same picture, Louis, and the same description. The exact description of Lou.

 

“He looks harmless,” the boy with unruly curls stated, discreetly mocking the orderly.

 

“Oh, he does, doesn’t he,” the man smirked, rubbing his thumb across his lower lip “he’s petite and… beautiful, truly beautiful. Truly unique, he looks like a boy but tasted almost similar to a woman” Harry gritted his teeth; he was fighting to clench his fists at the man’s words. Did he realise he just admitted to having an intimate relationship with a ‘patient’, if he was really an orderly from an ‘institution for sick people’.

 

“But don’t be fooled. He’s dangerous, he’s smart. He escaped from our heavily guarded building, killed four orderlies on his way out.”

 

Harry believed him at that, Lou was desperate then, wanting to stop the pain, to stop the people who was hurting him – heck he nearly cut trough Harry’s jugular!

 

“We believe he wouldn’t make it that far in this weather with such think clothing, so we suspect he might be hiding around town. We were hoping some people of this town could help us. Have you seen him anywhere, sir?”

 

Harry shook his head, pouting a little pretending like he was recalling, and “No, I don’t think so, someone this beautiful I would’ve noticed at first sight.”

 

The other man chuckled dryly, giving Harry that nasty smirk again. Harry really wanted to take a knife and cut out that man’s face, hang it on the wall for Lou – knowing somehow that this man might be one of those animals who dared touch his Louis –  _whoa_  – wait a second,  _his_  Lou?  
 

“If that’s so, I best not take any more of your time. Thank you for your moment, if you ever… do see our precious Louis Tomlinson, please do not hesitate to give us a call. We would really like to find him before anymore damage is done. Your cooperation is much appreciated, sir.”

 

“Right,” Harry internally said, outside, he just smiled politely and waved the man off.

 

Once the door was shut, he sighed in relief, glad that he was able to keep his cool, glad that the man didn’t ask to come in – where he could absolutely see the one who he seeks sitting on the sofa. Looking at the damned piece of paper one more time, he then crumpled it forcefully and threw it into the dust bin.

 

“Harry!”

 

Zayn had let go of the boy he was holding and Lou ran towards his curly haired savior. Harry gladly accepted him in his arms, Lou wrapping his arms and legs around Harry like a koala and his face nuzzled to Harry’s neck. Harry placed gentle kisses on Lou’s exposed next, feeling relief wash over him that Lou was safe and here, _here_  with him where he could protect the small boy.

 

“They won’t stop till they find Lou, it seems,” Zayn spoke from the sofa, getting comfortable, thinking he could just have his nap here.

 

“Lou is their most precious possession. Their most prized experiment – imagine how much money is invested just on Lou alone, the surgeries, the medications-,” Harry gave Lou’s check a peck before rubbing the boy’s back, “If my father is really behind all of this – he would stop at nothing till he finds Lou.”

 

Thinking of having to fight Harry’s father send shivers down Zayn’s spine. The man didn’t like him – Zayn knew. Despite being a tough lad, Harry’s father was rich and powerful, he could buy police, hospitals, the government - he could bring anyone down. And two young men, one his son and the other his son’s friend, it’ll be an easy task once he found out they were the ones keeping Lou – their little treasure, their little secret to more wealth.

 

“What do we do then?”

 

“We protect Lou,” Harry replied, a little too fast, his voice laced with determination and protectiveness “at all cost.”

 

 

-.-.-

 

 

“What is it?” Lou questioned, leaning onto the island in the kitchen, with his bum wriggling in the air as his knees were on the barstool.

 

Harry chuckled at Lou, who was looking at him with wide eyes filled with curiosity and anticipation. Earlier when Harry returned from his morning class, he found Lou on the floor in the living room, rolling about (yes, rolling around making himself like a roll with the blanket he had dragged from Harry’s room). The telly was on, a Mickey Mouse show was going on but the boy wasn’t paying attention at all to what it was about. When he saw Harry coming in, he immediately perked up, jumping into Harry’s arm and kissed him straight on the mouth.

 

“Welcome home kiss!” he exclaimed excitedly, blushing deep red.

 

Harry cooed, kissing him one more time. It wasn’t helping that Lou was rubbing on his member, feeling it hardened as the kiss deepened he had to pull away, gently placing Lou down. No matter how badly he wanted Lou, he didn’t want to ruin what they have now and scare him away – and he certainly didn’t want to hurt Lou with his own sexual intentions. Lou was innocent despite having being his innocence stolen from him and Harry loved him that way – wait what,  _love_?

 

They sauntered into the kitchen and Harry took out a tub of ice cream from the freezer so he could make them both milk shakes. Once he saw the Licka-Licka label on the tub, Lou licked his own lips, asking Harry what it was.

 

“It’s ice cream, Lou,” Harry answered taking out the milk shake maker and two tall glasses – the bluish one was for Harry, a green one for Lou. He then remembered he needed milk, so he turned his back on Lou to get it from the fridge, only to find the boy had opened the lid to the ice cream tub and had dipped his finger into the ice cream then putting it in his mouth – tasting the sweet vanilla flavor, eyes widening animatedly at the revelation of such pleasure.

 

“Louis!” and Lou jumped slightly from his seat, his facial expression shocked from the sudden rise of Harry’s voice, “you do not take the ice cream with your finger like that, geez, have you even washed it?”

 

Seeing how Lou cowered into his seat, tears brimming his eyes nearly sobbing when he shook his head, Harry’s heart sank, feeling guilt enveloping him like a deathly hug. Lou was crying at it was because of him, sure he had just took a dip of the ice cream with just his fingers but Lou didn’t know any better, he was excited and happy but Harry had to ruin it – shit – he mentally cursed himself.

 

“Fuck, Lou, I’m sorry-“ Harry soothed, moving to the other side of the island to hug the small one, “ah, shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- fuck, I shouldn’t have screamed at you- it’s just I’m so particular about cleanliness, I’m sorry, I inherited this OCD from my mother.”

 

“O-Ocd?” Lou stuttered, looking up with his teary eyes.

 

“Yeah, it’s a ‘mental’ disorder, Heh –“and Lou chuckled.

 

“No, Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

 

“That’s the problem, you didn’t, and it’s not your fault, love.”

 

It was like the boy’s mood switch was turned and now, Lou was giggling at Harry, more precisely at the word –  _love_. He liked it, when Harry calls him that, it gave him this feeling in his stomach like butterflies fluttering. It was a good feeling, being with Harry himself felt good. He never wanted Harry to be upset with him.

 

“Does it taste nice though?”

 

“Hm?”  
  


 

“The ice cream, Lou, does it taste nice?”

 

Lou grinned and nodded enthusiastically because yes, it tasted delicious. Familiar and delicious. Being held captive in the laboratory, he wasn’t actually smothered with luxury – it was always bread and some pills they gave him, and most were vegetables. Sometimes they would force him to eat raw meat, just so he could get the amount of iron he needed. Lou grimaced at the memory, hoping he’d never had to go back there again, having to eat all those awful things they call food.

 

“Well, wait till you taste what milkshake is.”

 

Milkshake.

 

_“Milkshake.”_

_“How’s the milkshake, Loubear?”_

_Louis held t2o thumbs up for his mother. Mummy makes the best milkshakes, especially ones where she would have gummy bears in them and colorful sprinkles. Lottie and he liked it a lot, it was their favourite drink their mother made aside from hot chocolates on cold nights with marshmallows._

_But lately mummy hadn’t been making milk shakes for them; neither had she made them chocolate when they couldn’t sleep._

_Lately mummy rarely smiles._

_Lately mummy cries._

_Lately mummy mutters a string of ‘I’m sorry’s to Louis whenever she thought he was asleep._

_Then mummy was gone. She was replaced by men who hurt Louis._   
  


_And then Louis forgets what mummy look like, what Lottie looks like._

_Then Louis just forgets everything._

“Lou, babe, drink up.”  
  


A tall glass of milkshake with a slice of strawberry was in his hands when he came back from the memories that was once his mother and sister. Right now all he could see was Harry smiling at him, urging him to drink the milkshake he had made for Lou just moments ago.

Harry was relieved when Lou smiled and started chugging down the drink. He was afraid that Lou was going to have another flash back seeing how his eyes were suddenly distant and a tear escaped the corner of his eye. Harry didn’t want to pressure him on telling what did Lou see, when he had one of the flashbacks, knowing that he must’ve saw something in the past and it wasn’t something he wanted to remember.

 

He took down a mental note; maybe he could ask Liam to hook Lou up with a psychiatrist since the boy had been showing signs of post traumatic stress disorder. Probably pop him a few pills so he could sleep better at night or stop seeing those flashbacks, anything at all so that Lou would feel better. But how was it possible? To be registered, Lou needed papers and that could only happen if Lou was given to the police, let the authorities investigate. Somehow, that seemed like a bad idea to Harry.

 

Probably because if so, Lou would be taken away from him. And Harry didn’t want them to.

 

Speaking of the devil, Harry’s phone rang and the caller ID showed Dr. Payne or Liam. Harry didn’t hesitate to answer moving away from the kitchen so that whatever conversation he would have with the doctor online, Lou wouldn’t have to hear it. Seeing how the blue eyed boy was too fixated in drinking the milkshake he has in his hands, Harry managed to slip into the living room easily.

 

“I have his blood results, “the voice on the other line spoke.

 

“Well, I figured, why else would you be calling.”

 

Liam snorted, because true, if he wanted to talk to Zayn he’d call him straight.

 

“Blood work shows that the boy had high levels of maternal hormones in him...”

 

“Maternal? As in –“  
  


“A woman’s.  More precisely a woman who’s ready for fertilization. Which means, during the time that we took the blood sample, Lou has a working egg in him, an ovum.”

 

“Explains why his uterine lining was thick,” Harry concluded for Liam, he wasn’t dumb, he learned it all.

 

“Yes, if he were to have sex, there’s no doubt he’d be pregnant.”

 

“But didn’t you say he had no ovaries? How is that even possible to produce and egg, don’t you need a complete set of sex organs?”  
  


Harry could hear Liam shift on the other side, probably flipping through papers, “I don’t have any idea how the eggs are produced. Probably he was already inserted in him before you found him, the pregnancy- probably I’m not sure, I theorize is that they insert a couple of eggs in him, in his uterus, but they maintain it  in them with the right amount of hormones- progesterone, estrogen, LH, FSH-“

 

“How do they maintain the right amount of hormones?”  
  


“An external source, like I said, everything, everything that could create the right hormones are inside our body, in our diet et cetera but it’s our genes – they control which hormones is released to differentiate man from woman. what I theorized is that these people, they probably tempered with Lou’s hormonal system, his pituitary – the centre of gonadotrophins- encouraging the cells to produce precursors of the estrogen, progesterone, LH and FSH thus maintaining an almost woman like environment inside Lou’s body.”

 

By the end of Liam’s sentence, Harry felt dizzy, like seriously he was going to faint from all the possibilities Liam just explained to him.

 

“But, but, it could mean that his body is producing these hormones but not producing an egg- they must’ve implanted an egg in him whenever they wanted him to get pregnant but his body has automatic control over these hormone secretions since they tempered with it already-“

 

“So, what, Li, does that mean Louis could get pregnant now?” Harry shifted his gaze once more to Lou who was now pouting because his tall glass ran out of milkshake.

 

“I’m not sure, two theories that are impossible but made possible by these… these…”

 

“Lunatics? Rapists? Abusers?”

 

“I was going to say scientists. Anyway – what I concluded from his blood work – his hormone system is 100%  _no_ t normal in boys but his eggs, I need another thorough examination. Can you bring him over the hospital tomorrow?”

 

Harry was going to say, yes, sure, they could drop by the hospital tomorrow and probably they could catch a movie after but then he remembered those men who claimed to be orderlies from a ‘nearby’ mental institution still lurking around looking for their lost ‘patient’.

 

“Uh, no, Liam, it’s not safe. Could you drop by instead?”

 

There was a long ‘um’ from the other side before Liam spoke, “yeah, sure after my shift probably. See you then, Styles.”

 

“Right, okay, give me or Zayn a call.”

 

“Alright- oh, and one other thing. Apparently there are traces of excess copper sulphate in his body.”

 

“Copper sulphate?”

 

“Yes, I theorized there maybe some correlation between that substance to allow Lou to have such of a hormonal system. Explains why his eyes are those abnormally blues, it’s probably because the excess of it deposits on his eyes. Whatever these bastards did, they surely found the key to male pregnancy.”

 

“Or they found a way to play God,” Harry deadpanned; obviously, this was no surprise if it’s his father’s work.

 

“Okay, and one more thing, Harry.”

 

Harry sighed, “What.”  
  


“Just don’t have sex with the boy. Not until we find out if he has viable eggs in him. I can’t guarantee you that he doesn’t.”

 

“Seriously, Payne!? Why does everyone think my goal in life is to fuck Lou?” Harry retorted while dramatically gasping. Like seriously, everyone was fucking underestimating him. Was he such a shallow person before to have his friends think of him that way?

 

Instead of a reply, Liam just laughed loudly on the other side and Harry, furiously blushing, hung up his phone, yelling, “piss off Liam fucking Payne.”

 

Grumbling, he turned around to face Lou once more only to have the boy in question standing just behind him with confused eyes, head tilting to the side. Because of the distance, Harry was slightly caught off guard; he never thought that Lou would be too close to him, the last time he checked the boy was still over at the kitchen island. Could he have possibly heard Harry’s conversation with Liam? If so, how much have he heard with his cute little tiny ears?

 

Harry just smiled, pretending he didn’t just have a full on convo about Lou’s sexual condition with Liam just moments ago, “Hey, Lou, more milkshake-“

 

“What does ‘fuck’ means? And why would you want to ‘fuck’ me?”


	18. seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pretty fucked up situation

The situation was pretty f-cked up. Literally.

 

Harry decided to digress on the subject and make tea. He sat Lou down in the living area, turning on the telly hoping somehow, Lou would find an interesting show on and be totally captivated by it while he makes them the hot beverage that when he comes back, the boy would totally forget his question.

 

But Lou didn’t. Harry returned with two mugs of Masala tea along with sugar cubes and milk but Lou’s eyes were on him. Lou was sitting on his haunches; his torso leaned onto the coffee table as he followed Harry to where he was, eager to learn this particularly new word. He looked like a child (which he was) completely excited about school on the first day, but like any other child, Harry feared he’d lose interest once he found out that school is such a bore, in Lou’s case, completely terrified of him after knowing the meaning of ‘f-ck’.

 

“Would you tell me now, Harry?” Lou pestered, not bothered by the tea Harry handed him.

 

Harry sighed, defeated. Lou was never going to let this go, he was sure of it.

 

“Have you not heard that word before?” he asked gently, lacing his fingers together and putting them on the coffee table as he too sat on the ground.

 

“Well, I did,” Lou replied, recalling his days back when he was still locked behind metal doors in a room that smelled like disinfectant, “I could hear them talk loudly, the men in white, sometimes they would say they want to ‘f-ck’ girls with large bosoms and sometimes I could hear they associate f-ck with me – like you just did. But I never really knew what they meant, never really bothered to ask them,” Lou shrugged, letting out a single chuckle.

 

And oh boy was Harry in deep shit. How was he going to explain to this completely naïve boy that he did not meant what he said like what those people did? It’s obvious when Lou heard those man said they’d want to f-ck Lou they meant forcing it on him but what Harry would mean, what he really wanted to do was not just have intercourse with the boy but rather gently,  _very_  gently make love to him. If he failed to convince Lou the real meaning behind his words it could end up in a pretty dire situation where Lou would be terrified of him because he would think that Harry is aftering the same thing those men did –his body.

 

He didn’t want that. He didn’t want Lou to look at him again with frightened eyes. He didn’t want to lose that fondness he saw in those pretty blues whenever Lou smiled at him.

 

So he decided to go slow.  _Very_  slow.

 

“Louis do you know what a v-gina is?” Harry asked, trying his best to keep a straight face. Being a student in the medical, such terms wasn’t as humorous as it sounded when he was in secondary school. Back then he and the boys would snicker especially at the word labia – now, thinking of it, Harry found it rather childish, but that was what he was then, a child, like Lou.

 

Lou blinked – he thought he knew what it meant but he could be wrong.

 

Harry, however, didn’t wait for his answer, “It’s what women got between their legs.”

 

“Oh,” Lou nodded, he knew what they were even when he never saw them - he knew his mother and sister had it. He remembered his mother telling he couldn’t take baths with his sister and her anymore because he was growing old and that they were different.  _Lou misses his mother_.

 

“And do you know what a p-nis is?”

 

Lou lit up slightly, he knew what those are, his mother used to pointed it out, “A peen! We go  _pee pee_  with it.”

 

Harry chuckled fondly – Lou was just too precious.

 

“Yes, you’re right. So, if a man and a woman love or really like each other – they’ll f-ck. Which means the peen goes into the v-gina.” –  _And with all sorts of other pre-sex acts_  but, Lou doesn’t need to know that, well, not yet, Harry thought.

 

Lou’s brow furrowed in confusion, “but I don’t have a v-gina.”

 

Here comes the hard part. To explain to Lou that what those men did to him would be a literal act of f-cking but associating those men with Harry, Lou would misinterpreted Harry’s intentions and what could come next, Harry wouldn’t want to happen.

 

“Um, well, we humans – we are –  _um_  – how do I say this – there isn’t just one method of fucking, especially when it involves same sex – like, um-“

 

“Harry you’re blabbering,” Lou giggled, covering his mouth with his hand.

 

Harry let his head fall onto the table with a loud thud because, yeah, he was beginning to ramble. He does that, especially when he was put in the spot light whenever they had to follow morning rounds around the ward. Despite having practice, unlimited practice, he was still losing his train of thoughts in front of a gorgeous fifteen year old.

 

Just when he thought he was ready for round two of trying to explain ‘f-ck’ to someone who had no clue what it meant, the door was heard being unlocked and in came Zayn, cursing away about the English weather being wet all the time and how it was related to depression. He shrugged his wet coat off and announced that he brought cake from work home which sent Lou up and about, running over to where the raven haired lad was claiming how much he loves cake.

 

With the light pitter patter of the rain from outside, they sat around Harry and Zayn’s small dining table, something Harry’s mother picked out from IKEA on which she insisted was expensive but Zayn thought she had recycled some antique wooden table from the garbage area. Louis was munching on his cheesecake happily, humming a tune as he ate while Harry and Zayn watched on. Harry was somewhat relieved that the subject they were discussing before was dropped.

 

But it only lasted a while.

 

“What you lot had been up to today?” Zayn asked, taking a sip of the same Masala tea Harry had made for himself.

 

Harry cringed internally when Lou mentioned happily, “Harry was telling me what  _f-ck_  means.”

 

Spluttering on his tea, almost immediately after Zayn sent a death glare to his fellow housemate, his lips twitching into a forced smile, “oh, really now?” Harry would love to be murdered right then.

 

Lou nodded enthusiastically. Zayn pretended to clear his throat, turning his body completely so that he was now facing Harry who was chuckling rather nervously. “How was it?”

 

“Funny ‘cos Harry was sounding weird!” Lou chirped, oblivious to the looks Zayn was giving and how Harry was trying with all his might (he might have been sweating a little too) not to catch Zayn’s deadly gaze, “but I don’t really quite get it.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Harry says f-ck mean a boy’s peen goes into a woman’s pagina.”  
  


“V-gina,” Harry corrected involuntarily and Zayn’s eyebrows twitch.

 

“V-gina!” Lou mimicked, laughing.

 

“ _Just_  the v-gina?”

 

And there was a pause, with two sets of eyes looking at Harry. One doe eyed, innocent, pure and completely curious, the other accusing, mocking, some sort of sadistic pleasure entwined within those dark irises seeing how Harry sweat in his seat, nervous.  _Damn you, Malik._

 

One completely different from the other, but neither brought those nerves in his stomach to rest.

 

 

-

 

What was taking Zayn so long?

 

Harry was beyond anxious. He couldn’t sit still – one moment he’d be staring straight at the telly where Atonement had been playing for at least a good half an hour, the next he’d be pacing around the room with his fingers scratching his chin, his eyes darting back and forth from the ground to the door of Zayn’s room.

 

Instead of teasing him continuously about his failure in explaining to Lou on what ‘f-ck’ means, Zayn decided to spare the curly haired lad any further humiliation and offered to ease the burden by being the one who would do the honors, besides, Zayn would do a better job anyway – he was always calm in any kind of situation despite his almost aggressive like demeanor.

 

Zayn had sisters, it’s only logical that he would be the better person in such circumstances having experience. At least, that was what Harry thought.

 

But of course, there was still that worry floating over and about his head, poking his inner thoughts on how Lou would actually take even if Zayn had put it in the most simplest – gentler (if that’s possible) – form. 

 

 _Why don’t I show you, Lou? What f-ck means._ Harry’s head perked up to the sound of his own thoughts. He trusted Zayn enough with almost everything, but is there that possibility Zayn had the same thoughts as he did at the moment?

 

Could at that very time he was seated in the living area, worrying, Zayn decided to bring Lou into the room in order to ‘explain’ the word f-ck to him – he was literally showing Lou what it really meant?

 

Zayn wouldn’t do that now, would he?

 

Years of knowing the lad, Harry was sure Zayn was a lot more respectable than how he appeared to be. If anything, he was the epitome of the saying –  _don’t judge a book by its cover._  Because even with that heavily tattooed body and those piercings, those rolls of weed and cigarettes – Zayn was a lot more than that.

 

He was never one to take advantage of someone who was vulnerable. His partners were always sober when he brought them home for a good f-ck, or they’d both be pissed drunk and horny, neither of them having regrets in the morning.

 

There was this turmoil inside of Harry and now he was scratching his head almost violently. Zayn wouldn’t hurt Lou, he would never – even if he did attempt to Lou wouldn’t hesitate to smash his head to the brick wall or crack his skull with a vase, a lamp, anything at all.

 

Harry chuckled dryly at that even in his state. That would be funny. His thoughts were being funny.

 

Decided it was best to not bother them at the moment, Harry plopped down onto the sofa, stretching his body before putting both his hands behind his head, closing his eyes. That felt good – closing his eyes. That’s right; he hadn’t been getting quality sleep lately with everything that was happening. Lying down with his eyes closed on a comfy sofa with the warmth of the whole apartment compared to the freezing out, really did reminded his body that he was practically knackered.

 

Within moments, Harry was being pulled into slumber, only to be abruptly woken up by a body nudging him on the side. He peered through his heavy lids, there wasn’t a dream he regretted waking up to, and he surely didn’t regret it when he saw Lou’s small body pressing up to him, trying to snuggle into his side.

 

He chuckled coarsely, scooting over and moving his body to the side so Lou was able to nestle comfortably on the sofa next to him. He then draped his arm over the boy’s waist, securing the position and leaned his chin onto Lou’s shoulder inhaling the sweet, sweet scent of innocence.

 

“Lou,” he murmured, kissing the exposed skin on Lou’s neck – an act of fondness, barely anything sexual.

 

“Zayn told me what it meant.”

 

Harry held his breath.

 

“He made me understand,” Lou started biting on his nails; Harry pulled his wrist away and kissed the tip of Lou’s fingers.

 

“He made you understand?”

 

“Understand that – what those men meant and what you meant is completely different.”

 

Harry released his breath and peppered the back of Lou’s neck with more kisses while saying, almost whispering, “What do you understand by what _I_  meant?”

 

Lou shuddered at the sound of Harry’s deep voice, his body felt hot, his face becoming flushed with each kiss Harry gave him and there was this feeling on his lower abdomen that he did not understand – what was that feeling?

 

“I know,” he gasped, breathless; “I know that you would never hurt me like they did.”

 

“ _Never_ ,” Harry pressed, now his lips hovered over the shell of Lou’s ear, his breath sending shivers to the younger boy, “I would  _never_  hurt you.”

 

Lou didn’t know what was going on, he felt so hot, like his body was on fire and with ever touch of Harry’s lips or fingertips, it burns – a good burn, sending shocks up his body and it wasn’t helping that he was feeling something tightened within his lower abdomen. What was this feeling and why was it so foreign to him, yet, it was making him feel so good?

 

“I-,” he breathed, Harry’s hand moving from caressing his abdomen to his chest, the way Harry’s long fingers brush his hardened nipples – he loved the feeling. “I trust you, Harry.”

 

Harry gently sunk his teeth down on the skin of Lou’s neck while his finger tweaked Lou’s nipple causing the boy to whimper, his back arching, “I would treasure you, Lou, so beautiful,”

 

“Ha-! Harry-“Lou whimpered out, fingers gripping onto the side of the sofa.

 

“What do you need, Lou?”

 

“I don’t-I don’t know,” he really meant it. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. Harry was touching him, causing all these sensations course trough his body and he felt himself getting hard, down there, and his behind, it was feeling a little wet too and it was clenching and unclenching-his ring of muscles- wanting something – needing something, but he didn’t know what. He was just too hot to think, he wanted Harry to touch him more,  _more_ , anywhere,  _everywhere_ , preferably down  _there_.

 

“Your- your hands,” Lou managed out through moans and Harry cocked a brow.

 

“Where do you want me to touch you, baby?” Harry teased, twisting gently on the boy’s nub, knowing exactly what he meant.

 

“I don’t kno-know-“

 

“Hmm?” Harry decided to move next, he traced his hands down Lou’s chest and abdomen, then slipped underneath the boy’s waistband moving behind to grabbed one of the boy’s cheek causing him to squeak. He then moved his hand further behind, using his pointing finger and his ring finger to separate Lou’s cheeks and with his middle finger, he let it touch Lou’s fluttering hole. Harry never expected it to be wet, down there but it was, his eyes widened but then Lou was engineered like that, it must’ve been something to do with the fact that he had a uterus inside of him.

 

“Oh,” Lou moaned, arching back, letting Harry settle his face on his shoulder.

 

“You want me to touch here, babe?” Harry asked, the tip of his middle finger gently rubbing Lou’s entrance.

 

“I don’t-“

 

“Or is it here?” before Lou could even finish, Harry had clasped his hand over Lou’s member, making the boy keen to the sensation, he shut his eyes tight and he swore he saw stars.

 

Why was it so hot in here and why was it so hard to breathe but still, Lou didn’t want it to stop?

 

“How do you feel, Lou?” Harry whispered into Lou’s ear, wanting to know that everything was okay because that was what is important – Lou being okay “tell me how you feel, baby.”

 

  
Harry nudged his finger at Lou’s entrance – nothing deep enough to penetrate but to pleasure nonetheless – earning a moan from the small boy that was putty in his hands, literally.

 

“Go-good, Harry, really good,” Lou managed out, his breath completely stolen from him.

 

“That’s what I want, Lou, for you to feel good.”

 

“I want to feel good, Harry-  _please_ -“

 

“Okay, darling, okay.” Harry placed his lips on Louis’ neck, biting gently then sucking on the reddened skin, one of his hand began pumping on Lou’s member while the other, teased Lou’s behind, dipping in shallowly before pulling out then gently pushing in, a bit deeper than before.

 

Lou groaned and whimpered, bucking up his hips to meet Harry’s hand while wanting to push back on Harry’s finger. He didn’t understand why though, why was it so good when Harry touched him there, his behind, those men touched him there but unlike Harry they were rough, they never let Lou feel anything else but pain so maybe, maybe – that’s why he was liking it? Or maybe it was how Harry whispered to Lou in his ear multiple times, how he would never hurt him? Lou trusted him; Lou knew that Harry would never hurt him.

 

Lou was panting hard while Harry, he tried to neglect his own hardened junk because he wanted Lou to get all the pleasure. He wanted Lou to know what it was like not having someone using his body for the ecstasy. He was putting Lou first.

 

Just when he thought Lou was going to reach his limit, they were interrupted by the ringing of the door bell. Lou immediately gasped, trying to get up as Harry pulled his hands out of Lou’s loose tracks just in time for Zayn to come out of his room.

 

“I ordered pizza,” Zayn said, completely unaware of what his best friend was doing to the young boy he found on the sofa, and went to open the door. As soon as the door opened, a bubbly Irish boy jumped in exclaiming he has pizza, “oh, and I ordered Niall, too.”

 

“Pizza?” Lou’s head perked up to the mention of his favourite junk food. He was still a bit flushed and there was sweat that plastered his fringe onto his forehead. Harry pulled him back down next to him, fixing his messy hair and kissing his forehead before finally letting the boy go, reluctantly. It seemed that Lou has successfully forgotten what happened a few moments ago before they were rudely interrupted. Somehow, he knew Lou was going to bring it up later but never mind that; he would gladly do it all over again for Lou.

 

 

Harry watched from the sofa as Lou went up to Niall, still shy around the blonde boy when it comes to asking for pizza, and chuckled to himself before finally getting up with an something awkward poking out of his pants. He ignored the questioning look Zayn gave him and walked into the shower, solving his own problem himself because if it’s Lou, he would wait. He can wait, he would rather wait.

 

Lou was worth it.

 


	19. eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou and Harry visits Liam for more info

“Where are we going?” Lou questioned Harry that morning when the curly haired lad woke him up a bit too early for his liking. He was grumpy and groggy, half of his fringe sticking up from his forehead, wanting nothing but to lie back down and close his eyes under the covers.

“We’re going to see Liam,” Harry answered simply, tugging on Lou’s pajama top (more precisely, his pajama top) signaling him to lift his arms up so Harry could take the clothing off him.

Lou groaned and pouted, eyes barely open yet he obliged to Harry’s orders. Harry pulled Lou up and gently guided him into the bathroom, telling the boy to wash his face and brush his teeth while he pick out Lou’s outfit for the day. Lou rubbed his eyes (though they were still closed) and nodded; reaching out blindly for his toothbrush that Harry bought him.

Once he was sure Lou wasn’t going to fall asleep standing infront of the sink, Harry walked back into his room and opened his drawer. He pulled out a Ramone’s t-shirt and a red jumper with a green collar his Nan knitted for Christmas two years ago (or longer). But then he realised that the red was too bright, too Christmas-y and if Lou was to wear it outside, he would definitely attract attention. No doubt he’ll look adorable in it, like how he looks every single day, the jumper being (as usual) too big for him. Not today though, Harry thought, he didn’t want any attention on the boy, he wanted to make Lou as invisible as possible knowing how the men who was looking for him was out there – still searching.

So he chose his thick black jumper (his favourite), the pair of skinnies Lou wore last time he went out and he also pulled out a dark green scarf to go with his beanie. The outfit was set out on his bed and he searched around for his old glasses. When he decided to overlook the outfit for Lou again, he face palmed because it looked almost the same with the outfit he made Lou wear the last time they went out. He had no choice though, he wouldn’t want to make a single mistake and ends up with losing Lou by the end of the day – no he wouldn’t risk it. Not ever.

“I thought Liam is coming over to have a look at me?” A small voice spoke making Harry turn around. Lou was finished, his face pink from the short wash and eyes still hooded from the sleepiness. He was fidgeting; his arm crossed over his lower abdomen in attempt to hide the scar that has been there since god knows when.  Harry knew Lou was insecure about the scar, having it remind him every time he looked in the mirror what happened to him in that dreadful place and even to Harry, every time he sees the scar he felt the familiar heat of anger rush within him, knowing people had hurt Lou, his Lou.  _Wait, his?_

Harry walked over to where Lou stood and cupped his face within his hands, pulling his head gently towards him so he could kiss the smaller boy’s cheek, “He was supposed to, but he remembered he didn’t have any portable equipment he could bring over so we have no choice, babe.”

“But I don’t want to…,” Lou whined, pouting once more, “I’m tired. I want to sleep and I want you to do that thing where you would lie behind me and hug me and kiss me and we could fall asleep together.”

Harry chuckled, “you mean spooning, my dear.”

“Yes, spooning.  _Please_ , Harry?”

“I’m sorry, Lou, we could go later but Liam is only free before office hours today and we really need to know what’s going on with you before we take further action.” What Harry meant by further action could mean  _two_  things and he didn’t know which was more important.

Lou leaned into Harry’s chest, whining in incomprehensible words about how he didn’t want to go and how he hated the hospital.

“Alright, how about a bargain?  Have Liam look at you and later, I’ll take you to the theater you wanted to go so much?” Lou’s head perked up a bit – he was listening, “you be good and let Liam check you up the rewards would be; we’ll go see a movie and get ice cream – I promise you.”

“Can we?” Lou asked again, his eyes brightened at the bargain.

“Yes, babe, anything you want.”

“Okay!” and Lou gave Harry one of his brightest smiles ever. A smile Harry didn’t want to see fading away from the boy’s face. Even though he’d be risking getting caught by the men from his father’s laboratory, it would all be worth it when Lou smiles at the end of the day.

-

They managed to get to the hospital without getting caught even though Harry spotted a familiar greasy man that came knocking on his door the other day by the side of the road stopping a civilian and even when Harry couldn’t hear anything he was saying, he imagined it must’ve been the same words he told Harry the other day – the same lies.

The first thing Liam asked them when they walked into a small examination room was of Zayn. His face trying to seem like he was non-chalantly asking, as if he barely cared for his ex-boyfriend, but Harry saw right through him. They ended the relationship well; both of them said it was their differences that tore them apart yet, Harry felt it was their differences that brought them together – closer than ever. And even though they might not be attached that way any longer, it was clear that both Zayn and Liam really do care for one another because the truth of the matter was – you don’t fall out of love that easily.

The next thing he does was hand Harry a piece of paper – a familiar one – with Lou’s face and apparent description of him, saying he was missing from a mental institution.

“I was walking to work and saw this plastered onto the wall next to the bakery.”

“Liam, you couldn’t possibly believe this shit-“

“Of course I don’t,” Liam stated firmly, pushing his thick rimmed glasses up, “I saw with my two eyes what is in that boy, ran tests that were positive – of course I wouldn’t believe that he had escaped from a mental institution.”

Lou hid behind Harry when Liam’s eyes landed on him. No matter how careful Liam was to him, how caring, how nice, how lovely – Lou was always on the edge around doctors. He might seem comfortable around Zayn, Niall and especially Harry, but it never seems so around Liam. And the doctor with gentle eyes understood that such trauma never disappear magically. It takes trust and Liam was quite surprised by the trust Lou had in Harry in such a short period of time.

“If anything, I’d say Lou was a science experiment. Not a mental patient,” Liam said, crossing his arms.

“And I’d say it’s unlucky for me to know who is actually responsible for that.”

Liam’s eyes widened on Harry, “you do?”

“My father-“

“Harry is not like his father,” Lou cut Harry off timidly behind the older lad, he had poked his head out and he was furrowing his brows to Liam, “Harry is kind and he would never hurt me.”

Liam chuckled as Harry reached over the fondly rub the top of Lou’s head.

“I have no doubt. Harry must’ve been an angel to you.”

Liam’s statement made Lou blush (Harry, too) and he buried his face into Harry’s back, his dainty fingers fisting Harry’s jacket.

“So, your father is the genius behind all of this eh?”

Harry sighed, “I wouldn’t call him that but yes, I learned about it the hard way.”

“It’s no surprise. Your father is a visionary man.”

“Can we not talk about this? It’s making Lou and me uncomfortable.”

“Alright, alright, come on, Lou,” Liam gestured towards the bed, “Hop on.”

Lou did, reluctantly, with Harry holding his under arms so he wouldn’t fall. It was just like last time, Lou lifted his shirt up, exposing his belly like it was a routine but Liam stopped him telling him that this time, Lou needed to take off his pants.

“It’s alright, babe, I’ll be right here,” Harry ensured him, holding his hand and giving it a little grip when Lou looked at him for assurance. That was what Harry gave him – assurance that if Liam tries anything funny (which he doubt the doctor will), Harry wouldn’t hesitate to punch him in the face.

As Lou took off his jeans, Liam prepared what seemed to be an instrument for an ultrasound, but instead of the usual wand, the one he was preparing was vertical and thin. Harry recognized it immediately as a transvaginal ultrasound and gave Lou a peck on the forehead.

“Do you know what this is Lou?” Liam asked softly, smiling at the boy who was eyeing him suspiciously since just now.

“The-the doctors put that insi-inside me to see stuff I did not understand,” the boy answered, shifting his eyes from Liam to Harry then back to Liam.

“I guessed they had done the procedure already. Well, I’m going to do what they do and see if there’s any viable eggs in you.”

Lou shook his head and turned to Harry, eyes glossy and red, “It hurts the last time – can I not do it, Harry?”

Harry caressed Lou’s head, “Is there any other way we can do it, Liam?”

Shaking his head Liam apologised, “I’m sorry; this is the best way, the least invasive way to investigate his ovaries – if there’s any. Anything else would either harm him more or it’ll raise unwanted suspicion.”

There was no other way. They needed to know whether Lou was still producing eggs and this was the safest way. So, Harry kneeled beside Lou, hand still gripping on the boy’s small ones while the other went to wipe the tears that were now shedding from the boy’s blue eyes.

“Babe, Liam promises he wouldn’t hurt you as much as they did, he’ll go slow and gentle because we really need to do this, to see if you’re alright. And I’ll be here all the time, I’ll be here and if it hurts, I want you to look at me and I’ll kiss the pain away, is that alright?”

Lou pulled his lower lip with his teeth, “If the kisses will make them go away… okay.”

With the permission Lou gave him, Liam asked him to spread his legs apart while bending his knee. Harry helped Lou pulled his boxers off and in the position he was in, Lou couldn’t help but flush red, the last time he was in this position, a man in white tied him to the bed while they take turns entering him without his consent. Lou knew though, Harry wouldn’t do that, Liam wouldn’t do that and he wasn’t tied down this time.

“Lou, whatever you do, don’t resist, it’ll hurt more, alright?” Liam said, applying lube all over the long wand generously, trying to minimize any further friction.

Lou nodded and Liam positioned himself, aligning the wand with Lou’s entrance. Asking Lou to breathe in, Liam pushed in, Lou gasping at the intrusion.

“I just need to find out if his ovaries are hidden anywhere else the transabdominal ultrasound couldn’t detect…,” Liam spoke, mostly to himself as he moved the wand around while his eyes trained on the screen in front of him.

A couple of times, Liam made a few turns and Lou would cry out in pain. Harry was there to the rescue and just like he said he would, he captured Lou’s lips with his own, delicately kissing him and rubbing the boy’s knuckles with his thumb. Lou relaxed almost immediately, whimpering into the kiss as tears continued to shed. Harry could only imagine what Lou had to go through; it was painful here with Liam operating the system as carefully as he could but what about back when he was in the laboratory? Were the doctors there careful with Lou? Harry doubted it.

“Ah!” Liam suddenly exclaimed, an obvious excitement written on his face, “found one! Wow, oh god, wow.”

The screen was showing different densities of grey patterns; Harry couldn’t tell which one is which because it takes experience to notice such things on an ultrasound.

“If you see this, this is his ovary, completely overshadowed by his uterus, which was why we didn’t notice it on a normal ultrasound. The surgeons who planted the reproductive system in Lou must’ve been trying to save space, more precisely, wanting to use the least space as possible knowing that the male body might not be able to support a gravid uterus.”

“They technically hid it?”

“I suppose,” Liam’s enthusiasm was enticed and he was moving the wand rather carelessly now, having made a new discovery. Lou grunted in pain, squeaked even, and it angered Harry, he literally screamed at Liam to be careful.

“Sorry, sorry, I just got a little bit excited,” Liam apologised sincerely.

“It’s not me you have to apologise to, it’s Lou.”

And Liam went up to Lou’s face, apologising once more yet he received a slap from the boy – even though he was forgiven. Harry found it rather funny.

“So, is Lou producing eggs, then?” Harry asked after a short minute laughing at Liam’s hand printed cheek.

Moving the wand to a specific view, Liam froze the screen and pulled the wand out of the little boy’s body, Lou sighing in relief, having freed from such an object breaching him. Clearing his throat, Liam pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. If he was trying for suspense, it was certainly working because Harry was literally dying to know.

“I’d say, if he was to have intercourse with anyone right now, the chances of him ending up pregnant would be 90%.”


	20. nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something horrible happened

It was a weekday after just before lunch, the ice cream parlour a walking distance from the hospital was empty – it was nothing unusual, school teens and children would still be forced to sit in lessons, the only ones that had the free time to have ice cream at such hour would be college students like Harry who classes had been cancelled (or might be skipping class) or retired men and women.

 

Harry watched as Lou happily munched on rainbow coloured sprinkles and almond toppings first before actually getting onto the ice cream. His eyes were smiling, creating crinkles at the sides and he squealed in delight at the taste of strawberry and vanilla. Once in a while they boy would turn to Harry and smile – melting his heart – before continuing on devouring his dessert.

 

Sighing, Harry closed his eyes and rubbed at his temple. He shouldn’t have ordered coffee, he thought; his migraine was kicking in, his vision blurring. And the fact that he had Liam’s words were repeating themselves in his head wasn’t helping him one bit.

 

“The tempered hormones in him are keeping his eggs healthy,” Liam said, eyes still focusing on the grey matter on the ultrasound machine screen, “your father is truly a genius.”

 

Harry groaned, “Liam,  _stop_. He violated laws.”

 

“Yes, it’s true but I have to give him credit for such masterpiece.”

 

“An evil genius sounds more like it.”

 

Liam nodded to Harry’s statement, agreeing,  _yes_ , his father was an evil genius. Someone that thrive for success without acknowledging the boundaries that separate the good from the bad. Someone that only existed in movies or fantasy – never in Harry’s life would he imagine his own father as an antagonist. He loves his father, there was no denying that – Bernard was his father, regardless his busy days where he went missing, lost in his work, Harry still have memories of his father kissing him goodnight when he was younger or days where he would take Harry out on a lad’s day while his mother went with his sister for a ladies’ day.  

 

 It’s just that after he grew older he realised his dreams and his father’s dreams were completely different. And that maybe, he still loves his father but he no longer admired him. Bernard certainly wasn’t the best father, but he was Harry’s father.

 

“Ah!” exclaimed Liam when he was examining the barcode tattoo on the back of Lou’s neck, the boy flinching slightly, “there seems to be a chip underneath his skin! Here, feel  _this_ , Harold.”

 

And Harry did, gently rubbing the skin and feeling that there was indeed something beneath the subcutaneous layer. Something small and rectangular – thin – like a micro chip. It goes unnoticeable in the naked eye, the barcode tattoo helping in masking it.

 

“ _Your father is truly a genius, Harry_.”

 

“Harry! I finished.”

 

Harry didn’t realise he was staring, but now he was staring at a happy Lou, smiling at him with a smudge of pink coloured ice cream just at the corner of his bottom lip.

 

“Can we please go to the theater, now?” the young boy asked, holding his hands together in a hopeful manner while his eyes brightened with every word.

 

Harry chuckled, fixing Lou’s hair underneath his beanie so that his fringe covered his eyes before he pulled Lou by the jumper’s collar, tenderly meeting their lips together when he took this opportunity to wipe the ice cream smudge on the boy’s skin with his tongue.  Or maybe it was the other way around. But nevertheless, it made Lou shiver, his eyes closing as he felt the familiar softness of Harry’s lips on his, whining when Harry pulled away.

 

“What is the matter, babe?” enquired the curly haired lad upon seeing how unusually flushed Lou’s face was and his blue eyes (the blue seemed so radiant then), if Harry wasn’t mistaken, clouded by his blown pupils.

 

“I just-,” Lou breathlessly spoke, the glasses Harry had him put on falling down the bridge of his nose, “it feels weird.”

 

Harry helped push the glasses up, “weird how, sweetheart?”

 

“When you kiss me,” Lou’s face was now a shade of darker pink, and he brought his finger to his mouth, chewing on it only to stop when Harry pulled his wrist away, “when you-you kiss me like that – it feels.. It feels hot.”

 

 _Hot_. That was the best word he could think of to describe such jolts of electricity that came with Harry’s touches, Harry’s kiss. The heat that invaded his body, the haziness –  _that was only Harry and all of Harry_ – that invaded his mind, leaving him panting, breathless for more, for more of Harry. He didn’t understand what it was (maybe it was Harry) but he knew it wasn’t normal to feel like that about anyone.

 

And to Harry – it made his member underneath the layer of his really tight jeans twitch. Something about Lou’s innocence tempted him to ravage the boy, to ruin him.

 

“Sh-shit, Lou,” was all he could say seeing how Lou was begging for it without even mentioning a word, without even understanding about the whole situation. “I think you’re aroused, babe.”

 

Lou’s head tilted to the side, “ _Aroused_?”

 

“Remember when Zayn told you about – about what f-ck means?” Louis nodded.

 

“It means you want it- from me, for me to f-ck you,” Harry mentally cursed because he heard his own voice trembling because god, he wanted to, so much to f-ck Lou, “And you remember that time when I touched you down there? Behind there?” Lou nodded again, this time more frantic because yes, he remembered that, he remembered feeling so good when Harry touched him there.

 

“It’s like that? The same? Do you feel the same, Harry?”

 

Harry pulled Lou’s body closer to him instead of answering him and the boy’s breath hitched, his hands grasping the thin shirt Harry was wearing underneath his jacket – he wanted to touch Harry, too. Lou bit his lower lip as he eyes the swallow tattoos that peeked out of the shirt’s collar, he wanted to so badly to nibble on Harry’s skin. He didn’t understand it, his mind was reeling – why was he so aroused?

 

He tried to remember what Zayn told him about f-cking. More precisely f—cking between two men, what goes in where – how it was similar to what the guards did back then in the institute but how it wasn’t the same if he wanted it, and right now, god, he wanted it.

 

“Lou, you got stop making that face-“

 

Louis’ eyes met Harry and Harry could just get off how Lou looked at the moment, eyes glossy and dark, confused, flushed – begging to be devoured, “Wh-what face?”

 

“ _Shit._ ”

 

And Harry was tugging on Lou’s wrist, pulling him out of the ice cream parlour and headed to the direction of the car park. They didn’t head for the theatre, which was for sure.

 

.

.

 

When the car stopped somewhere near the park in the parking space rarely anyone ever comes to because it was too far from certain attractions and shops, or because it was just too dark sometimes, Harry urged Lou to the back sit and the boy hastily complied.

 

Harry immediately latched his lips to Lou’s, the boy trembling slightly at the sudden force and being pinned down onto the car seat but because Harry was being so good with his lips and tongue, he immediately relaxed underneath him, tiny hands clutching onto Harry’s back.

 

Harry shrugged his jacket off, keeping his face close to Lou. The boy’s breath on his face and he immediately stole the air from Lou’s lungs as he snogged him, biting and pulling on the younger lad’s lip. Lou moaned at the feel of Harry’s hands underneath the clothes he was wearing, they were warm and sent shivers up his spine.

 

“‘m gonna make you feel good, baby,” Harry rasped in Lou’s ear and Lou whined as Harry’s fingers tugged on his nipples. With his lips onto Lou’s neck, Harry pulled down Lou’s jeans revealing the hard on the boy was harboring underneath and he never imagined himself in this situation before – tantalized by another male.

 

He pulled down his own jeans, up to his knees only unlike Lou where he had thrown the boy’s jeans to the front seat. He bent the boy at his knees before pulling his thighs apart, slotting perfectly between Lou’s legs, his own hard on against Lou’s, making them both groan at the feel of their clothed groins touch.

 

“H-Harry,” Louis breathed, his head tilted back, allowing Harry more access to the supple skin of the boy’s neck.

 

“I know, babe, I know.”

 

And Harry grinded against him, Lou letting out the loudest moan Harry had ever heard.  With his fingers tweaking Lou’s nipples, Harry continued to thrust his member against Lou’s, feeling dainty fingers dig into the skin of his back.  Grunting, he thrusted down, harder. Loving the sounds that came from the boy falling apart beneath him.

 

“Harry-Harry it feels weird,” truly it was, it was that feeling again, where there was that  pleasure pooling in his lower abdomen, waiting to be released and that need to touched down there, especially behind there intensified.

 

“Let it go, baby, just let it go,” was all Harry muttered into Lou’s ear, his own high put on hold as he concentrated in getting Lou off first.

 

He used his free hand to reach below, using his middle finger to touch Lou’s clothed entrance, Lou’s boxers preventing him from penetrating but it was enough to break Lou apart – making him breathless. He could feel Lou’s entrance flutter at the touch, his boxers soak from self lubrication (indeed his father was a genius) and Harry was refraining himself with all his might from putting his hard member in.

 

“God, Lou, so beautiful,” he praised because Lou was truly beautiful like that – skin glistening with sweat, mouth agape, eyes loosely closed. Harry could see the ecstasy that peeked through those eye lids as he grinding his body against Lou.

 

“Harry-“

 

“Let it go, darling, it’s okay.”

 

Lou unraveled beneath him with two more thrusts, his back arched obscenely, and a silent scream of elation escaped his mouth as he dug his nails almost painfully into Harry’s back.

 

Call him biased – but nothing could compare to how beautiful Lou was in such a position.

 

Maybe that was what made Harry lose control – Lou’s beauty – or maybe it was that pent up sexual frustration he had from being around Lou, because he had to admit, he desired Lou that way as time progressed. Lou was no longer that little boy he rescued, whom he wished to protect as a little brother, not anymore, Lou had become the very object of lust, desire, and Harry desired him, despite any other feelings – love (maybe).

 

Harry didn’t know then what took over him – it was obviously lust – but he couldn’t help himself. He pulled off Lou’s (now, wet) boxers and without warning, thrusted himself into the smaller boy, groaning at the tightness and warmth.

 

Lou gasped at the intrusion. The pain that erupted from his behind was so familiar – so very familiar – it was like being torn apart and he knew what it was like to not be but yet, every single time it happens, it was the same kind of unbearable pain. He began crying, it was not a single tear, but desperate cries as he felt the body above him trapping him, suffocating him along with the pain that seemed to won’t stop from his rear.

 

“Harry! Harry _, stop_ , it hurts! It hurts!” he screamed, his small hands trying to push Harry back but the older lad was too madly driven by Lou’s body, that he appeared like someone Lou didn’t recognized and he was just too small, too weak to stop it – just like the other times, “ _please stop, please_.”

 

“Baby, just a while more,” Harry said in a voice Lou didn’t recognize, his hips mercilessly snapping against Lou’s, thrusting almost violently into the boy. It was like he was deaf, he didn’t hear the screams Lou made, he didn’t hear the pleads for him to stop because all he could focus on was reaching his own height. And he certainly didn’t see the fearful look Lou was giving him as he cried.

 

It was too distressing, too unpleasant on Lou’s end that he felt he could pass out from the pain. All his eyes could see were those men from the facility he was imprisoned. Their faces, their disproportionate bodies, their body odour and their disgusting breath, breathing into his ear as they plundered him, eager to be the one to impregnate him.

 

But before he could let himself fall into the pit of darkness, Harry made one last thrust and he was coming. He could feel the surge of hot liquid filling his insides and Lou wanted to vomit.

 

Harry let his body drop, he placed kisses on the side of Lou’s face and on his neck but came to realization of what he just did when he felt the boy trembling beneath him. Almost immediately he pulled himself out of Lou, the smaller one screamed at the sudden movement.

 

“Fuck, shit, Lou!”

 

Lou wanted to kick him in the nuts, he honestly did but the aftermath left his lower limbs numb and weak, all he managed was a chocked out sob and curled himself into fetal position feeling feverish and broken, hurt, more importantly –  _betrayed_.

 

“Oh, god, shit,” Harry pulled at his curly hair, frustrated and regretting that the fact that Lou was crying - Lou was hurt - was because of him.  _He did this_.

 

“Oh, god, Lou?” he tried to touch the boy but his hand was swatted away, Lou even forced himself as far away as possible from Harry and that literally caused a crack in Harry’s heart. Lou was crying, Lou was telling him to stay away and that hurt – that hurts, Harry thought.

 

“Lou, oh god, Lou, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” his eyes stung, he felt a warm trail of liquid coming down from his eyes – was he crying? Why was he crying? Why was he feeling so heartbroken seeing Lou in such a state caused by none other than himself? He didn’t deserve to cry, no, he didn’t deserve to shed a single tear because he was the one hurting Lou horribly, but he couldn’t help it. He really couldn’t because simply, he did something he regretted badly, “Louis. Lou, baby,  _please_  – I’m sorry.”

 

“-Zayn…,” Lou whispered in between sobs, his face hidden behind his arm.

 

Harry had to strain his ear to hear what the boy said, “Pardon? What is it, sweetheart?”

 

“I want Zayn. Ta- take me to Zayn! I want Zayn. Zayn won’t hurt me. Take me to Zayn,  _please_.”

 

Wiping his eyes dry, Harry pulled his pants back on before crossing over to the driver’s seat. The urge to cry for him increases with each passing minute of the drive back home because of Lou’s broken sobs from the back seat.

 

He knew it was too late but he would do anything to go back to undo everything. To keep his promise in keeping Lou safe, protecting him, not letting the events prior to this happen. At least, have a little bit more of self control.

 

It was just too little too late and now, Harry just wanted Lou to look at him normally again.

 


	21. twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn was sure Harry isn't going to lay a hand on Lou anymore

“What happened!?” was the first two words that Zayn blurted out when Lou came running to him that evening.

 

The hiring of fresh young faces at the café allowed Zayn to finish his shift by five, it could mean two things – he was getting promoted soon or he was going to be let go, he wished for the former of course, it was hard enough to find jobs that would take someone that was only a secondary school graduate.

 

When he returned home he expected to see Harry and Lou cuddled together on the sofa since his best mate didn’t have class for the whole day, but when the house was found empty, he deduced that Harry had taken Lou somewhere special after their meeting with Liam (the one that Zayn regretted not taking the day off to go with them because then he would be able to see his ex boyfriend he still love dearly). The brand new canvas and art supplies (in which he bought on the way back home)he planned on gifting to Lou in order to help him express his suppressed feelings was kept aside and Zayn  made tea for himself before settling in front of the telly for some crappy day time shows.

 

As the day progresses, he was nearly dozing off, when the front door was abruptly opened and a very distraught Louis came crying in, calling out his name.

 

It alarmed Zayn because Lou was crying terribly and the thought that something horrific happened to him sent Zayn off his feet, opening his arms allowing the smaller boy to grasp onto his body, crying into his shirt. The boy’s knees buckled, sending both him and Zayn dropped onto the floor.

 

“Oh, Louis! What happened, sweetheart, tell me,” he coaxed gently, rubbing on Lou’s back. Worry overcame him because Harry was nowhere to be seen.

 

Had something terrible happened to the both of them? Was Harry caught that Lou was sent home alone to call for help from Zayn?

 

“Harry!” the younger one wailed, gripping tightly to Zayn’s body but anymore words that came out of his mouth were incoherent as they were mixed with his crying.

 

Zayn held the trembling boy closer, tighter, assuring he was safe in his arms, “Where’s Harry, Lou? Did something happen to him?”  An image of Harry being beaten up by a bunch of thugs came to mind but he ignored it, hoping it wasn’t true

 

Lou shook his head, hiding his face to Zayn’s neck as he cried. The amount of tears was large enough that it soaked the shirt the older lad was wearing.

 

Just when Zayn was about to ask again of what happened to Harry, because if he didn’t find out he might just need to call the authorities, the man in question appeared at the door, eyes rimmed red and puffy, guilt written all over his face as his shoulders sag.

 

Confused and thinking that his best mate had somehow been attacked but made it back unharmed, Zayn had to reconfirm it was him in the first place, “ _Harry_?”

 

Lou whimpered, making himself as small as possible in Zayn’s arms – trying to hide away from the green eyes that were pleading him for forgiveness. Of course Lou didn’t see that, he was trying his best to avoid eye contact with his saviour – the amount of hurt Harry caused upon him couldn’t compare because he though that Harry might actually care for him, just as he cared for Harry.

 

“No…,”he whined, his arms around Zayn tightened, afraid that Zayn would pass him over to Harry. Lou didn’t want Harry at the moment. He didn’t even want to be near him, and it broke Harry’s heart seeing how the small boy was, knowing the cause.

 

“Shh, sweetheart, Shh,” Zayn soothed, rubbing gently on Lou’s back before picking the boy up. Even though he wanted to pry of the events that happened before they returned – as it was clearly suspicious – it was obvious that Lou was restless and fraught around Harry, so he stood up with Lou attached to him like a koala to a tree, he brought Lou into his room and closed the door.

 

While Harry slumped to the ground, buried his face into his hands and weep.

.

.

.

 

It felt like infinity to Harry, even though in reality it was about half an hour later, when Zayn stormed out of his room. He was expecting for his friend from years ago to attack him, lunge at him and beat the shit out of him and he wouldn’t resist, he would just let Zayn do as he pleased because he deserved it. He was the one that hurt Lou, his precious Lou, betrayed his trust – as a matter of fact, he deserved so much more than a beating because dammit, he was the one who was supposed to shield Lou from such destruction, he was supposed to. But he couldn’t.

 

He did the same thing his father did. Forcing something upon someone. Just as his father forced Lou to become a science experiment, Harry forced himself into Lou.

 

He thought he wasn’t like his father, just as Lou thought too, but he  _was_. Lou was wrong. Harry was his father. He was his father’s son.

 

But Zayn didn’t head towards him who had kept a stationary position on the ground; instead the olive skinned lad went into the living room hurriedly in search for his phone. Harry watched as he frantically dialed a number and before Harry could ask –

 

“Liam! Liam, you’ve got to come over. Lou fell ill, he collapsed and his temperature is spiking-“

 

He didn’t even hear the rest of the conversation; Harry dashed into Zayn’s room, finding Lou asleep on Zayn’s bed wrapped up in the duvet. He made it over by Lou’s side and the first thing he did was placed his palm to the boy’s temperature – indeed he was burning. The boy not noticing it was Harry (or his subconscious did) whimpered when Harry pulled his hand away, wanting the warm touch even though his temperature was over the roof.

 

“Oh, Lou,” Harry wheezed, feeling tears welled up once more in his eyes. He caused this. He caused all of this, his mind taunted him, and it was the truth. Harry gently run his fingers down Lou’s face, admiring every angelic feature carved onto it, “Lou, my dear Lou, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, will you ever forgive me?”

 

And of course, there was no response from the other – Lou was far gone from hearing Harry’s words. His face etched a frown Harry worry it’ll never disappear, he wondered what could the boy be dreaming? Was he dreaming of Harry? A nightmare, a recollection of what just happened? Harry wished he didn’t, he wished Lou would only dream of sweet things such as rainbows and flowers.

 

He gave Lou a kiss on his sweaty forehead, his hand caressing the soft strand of Lou’s hair. He wanted to stay like this forever, to be able to touch Lou like this because he feared once Lou wakes up – he wouldn’t be able to. He had lost the privilege to Lou’s heart and he had no idea on how to gain it back. He would even sell his soul to the devil if it means getting Lou to smile at him again.

 

The moment he had to stay close to the boy was cut short, Zayn returned and grabbed Harry by the collar, pulling him away and throwing him to the ground.

 

“Stay away from Louis,” Zayn seethed, pointing a finger towards Harry, “he might not have told me of what happened but I’m not stupid, Styles, please tell me it isn’t what I think you did.”

 

Harry remained silent, his head hanging low.

 

“Harry, please tell me you  _didn’t_ -“

 

“I did,” the guilty one said, recalling those moments in the car and just wishing he could retrace his steps and start over, “I did, okay, I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I just wanted to show him-“

 

 

“You bloody fool!”

 

 

His jaw was aching and he was on the ground. Zayn stood tall above him, breathing hard and the fist he used to punch him was still clenched, ready for a second round. Harry braced for impact but it never came, instead, Zayn walked over to the door and opened it, before pulling Harry by the collar (again) and forcing him out.

 

Before he knew it, Zayn had slammed the door to his face.

 


	22. twenty one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry wants to apologise but-

There were good news and bad news.

 

The good news were, Lou didn’t actually sustain any tear on his rear that needed stitching though Liam had to clean the area with alcohol to prevent any infection and that his fever was most probably due to stress or trauma from such ordeal and that it would wear off soon with proper medication. Lou wasn’t critically ill – just traumatized enough that his body didn’t know how to react, explained the older man to Zayn.

 

On the other hand, the bad news was Liam wouldn’t be able to confirm whether Lou was pregnant or not. It was recent, too recent, that no pregnancy test would clear their doubts on whether Harry had impregnated the little boy or not. Even with the ultrasounds prior that proved Lou had viable eggs, there were no guaranteed any of Harry’s seed managed to fertilise them.

 

“He didn’t bleed too much which is good,” Liam said as he covered Lou’s body with the duvet after examining him, “Just let him rest. Make sure he eats, sleep, drink plenty of water. He needs to recover both physically and mentally.”

 

The blue eyed boy was fast asleep. He had woken up earlier when Liam inspected his rear for severe injuries, Zayn holding him the hold time – luckily there was none. After Liam giving him a few temperature reducing tablets, Lou was out like light.

 

“If he is pregnant, can you do something about the- _it_?” Zayn asked, unsure on how to approach the subject. The very subject about male pregnancy was still so surreal to him – it was something he only imagined happening in fan fictions, even when Liam had shown him all the evidence that it was possible in Lou’s case, thanks to Professor Bernard Styles.

 

Liam sighed, stuffing his stethoscope inside his bag along with the calipers and excess alcohol swabs he snatched from the hospital, “Honestly speaking, I don’t know.” The doctor stood up straight and fixed his black rimmed glasses. “I’ve never seen a case of a male being pregnant.”

 

“Don’t women take pills? Like morning after pills or some shit?”

 

“Lou is not a woman. I may have an idea on how the hormones he has in his body is regulated but I don’t know what will happen if I temper with it. If I make a single wrong move, I might hurt him,  _Zaynie_.”

 

It had been a while since he heard that pet name came out of Liam’s mouth. It had always been something comforting to him but Zayn knew he needed to get over Liam as soon as possible after they broke up if it means getting his heart mended, hence the reason why he made Liam swore not to call him any names that he used to when they were still together. It was the same on Zayn’s side, though he missed calling Liam, Li-baby or just plain darling or dear, he refrained himself for doing so – they needed to fall apart.

 

But somehow, at that moment, Zayn didn’t mind it. It gave him some sort of ease to his mind.

 

“Look, nothing is confirmed, and there’s nothing more we could do – everything is done, it happened, Harry-,” Liam stopped and cleared his throat, glancing over to where Lou was – on the bed- glad that the boy was still asleep, “You- you don’t worry your pretty head over it, alright?” the bulkier lad ran a hand down Zayn’s face almost too lovingly it sent a knife to Zayn’s heart.

 

“Everything is up to Lou. If he ever decides to forgive him…”

 

Liam nodded to the statement, agreeing. “I’ll be off now. I’ll come by to check on Lou tomorrow.”

 

Zayn watched as Liam hooked the bag to his shoulder then turning, moving towards the door to leave. The whole view of Liam’s back was too sentimental, it reminded him too much of when Liam left after they agreed to break up. The heaviness in his chest every time he watched Liam leave, the tears that welled up in his eyes every time he thinks that – there must be some other way, it could always end up differently.

 

“Liam.”

 

Liam turned to face him once more. Zayn felt like he needed to say how much he had been thinking of him, how the break up didn’t make him fall out of love with the man but having the rather opposite effect.

 

 _I love you_. “Thank you, Liam.”

 

Liam smiled, it was as if he could have read Zayn’s mind but disappointed it wasn’t what was spoken.

 

 _I love you, too._  “You’re welcome, my love.”

 

With that, Liam left Zayn’s room.

 

.

 

.

 

Lou woke up the next morning but he didn’t bother to move and it made Zayn wonder how long had he been like that before Zayn himself woke up.

 

Zayn didn’t sleep in the bed with Lou as he didn’t want to cause the boy anymore discomfort, so he settled for the makeshift mattress on the floor and pillows that comes with the sofa from the living room.  He wanted to make sure that Lou felt the most comfortable and safe in order to recover.

 

“Good morning, Lou,” he said softly, leaning over to where Louis was lying and very gently putting his hand on top of the boy’s head to feel his temperature. Warm, but not as alarming at it was yesterday.

 

Lou’s eyes flickered and landed on Zayn, they then drop back down to stare into nothingness once more.

 

“ ‘orning, Zayn.”

 

It was a surprise to even get a reply from the smaller one, so it made Zayn’s heart beat with a new sense of hope. He caught Lou’s hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing it.

 

“Do you want anything special for breakfast? Anything you want, babe.”

 

Lou shook his head, while his small hands grabbed Zayn’s one and he started to trace the lines on Zayn’s palms with his finger.

 

“Lou, you have to eat. You haven’t eaten since last night. ”

 

“But I’m not hungry,” Lou mumbled out, still playing with Zayn’s calloused hand.

 

Zayn sighed yet, he was determined to get the boy to eat something. “It’s almost noon, I’ll make you toast and eggs, then after, for lunch, I’ll call for pizza.”

 

It was the first time ever Zayn saw Lou showing no emotions over pizza, his eyes were dull and his movements seems almost forced. He nodded slowly, muttering, “‘mkay,” before turning over so his back was facing Zayn, pulling the duvet over his head.

 

Getting a pair of sweats from the drawer, Zayn put it on and headed for the door only to stop when the boy who he had trouble sleeping last night thinking of gasped out before he could open the door.

 

“Don’t let Harry in!” he said brokenly, eyes wide and glossy. “I don’t want to see him, I don’t want him-“

 

Zayn rushed back in, climbed onto his bed and pulled Lou into his arms, shushing him and he felt warm droplets fall onto his shirt.  _Damn Harry_ , he thought. He worried for this to happen, but he didn’t actually think Harry would have the heart to do it. Harry knew what Lou had gone through, the whole episodes of his abuse that led his determination to escape the damn place and yet, he was careless. In fact, Zayn himself felt like he was careless. Should he have stopped Harry earlier? When they were kissing and cuddling, should Zayn have warned him more sternly? Should Zayn have stopped it from the beginning? If he did then Lou wouldn’t be so hurt. He honestly thought Harry would be good for the broken boy.

 

He had never felt so wrong in his life. He had never felt so guilty. Probably as guilty as Harry.

 

“Oh, Lou, I’m sorry.”

 

“I don’t want him,” Lou sobbed, “I want him- I don’t want him but I  _wan_ t him- I don’t’ want him, not yet, not yet, Zayn.”

 

The boy grabbed hold of Zayn’s shirt, shaking his head, repeating the words like a mantra.

 

“Lou, oh gosh, Lou, it’s alright. It’s alright. You’re angry. You’re angry at him because he hurt you. It’s okay to not want him.”

 

“He hurt me. He hurt me when he promised not to- I’m hurt Zayn I’m  _hurt_  because it’s Harry. It’s  _Harry_.”

 

“I know, love,  _I know_.”

 

.

 

.

 

It was twenty minutes later that Zayn managed to calm Lou down once more, he gave him the blank canvas and some crayons for him to draw while Zayn work on his breakfast. But before Zayn left the room, Lou was still staying put, staring at the white of the canvas he rolled a piece of crayon between his fingers. His mind seemed like it was somewhere else, somewhere far but Zayn decided it was better than him crying again.

 

The minute he was out of his room, he nearly tripped on a body in front of his door. Harry jolted awake on impact with Zayn’s leg. He immediately got up to his feet and Zayn would be lying if he didn’t feel a bit sorry for the lad. His hair was a mess, a proper mess and not the usual mess of curls it usually is. His eyes were still red and puffy, if it was possible; it was puffier than the day before, with dark circles that ended just above his cheek bones. He had also a busted lower lip from Zayn’s punch yesterday. Harry looked tormented to be honest. Zayn shook the sympathy away reminding himself that this was the guy who hurt Lou.

 

Ignoring his best mate, Zayn made his way to the kitchen and of course, Harry tailed behind him obviously noticing that Zayn was avoiding him. He understood why of course but he needed to know how Lou was or he could die.  

 

“How was he?” Harry asked, voice coarse, “Liam said he didn’t need stitches and that his fever was nothing to worry about. But how is he? Tell me Zayn,  _please_.”

 

“He’s better,” Zayn answered simply, grabbing a bowl and two eggs from the ice box.

 

Harry hesitated, bit his lip and glanced over to the closed door of Zayn’s room, “Can I see him?”

 

“No,” Zayn cracked the eggs open into the bowl, the grabbing a fork to beat the eggs, “He doesn’t want to see you and neither would I allow it.”

 

“I need to apologise to him. I need to let him see that I’m truly sorry for what I did-“

 

Zayn stopped with the eggs, hitting his fist to the counter, “An apology won’t solve anything, you idiot!”

 

 

“I can’t do anything else for now-“

 

“That’s right! You can’t motherf-cking do anything! It’s done; you basically  _raped_  him, Harry!”

 

He knew what he did. Harry knew he had hurt Lou. But hearing the word being said, of what he had done to Louis – he just felt his heart be ripped into a million pieces. It was the word he had playing in his head when Lou told what those men did to him and he promised Lou, he f-cking  promised the boy he would never let that happen, ever.

 

“I warned you, Harry. I warned you to be careful but you just- ” Zayn let out an exasperated sigh before turning his back to Harry once more, continuing to work on the eggs.

 

“I am truly sorry. If I could just turn back time, I’d do anything to stop it. I’d do anything to change it-“the waver in Harry’s voice told Zayn he was speaking through though he couldn’t see it. It hurts to see his friend in such a state but he was in the wrong and Zayn wouldn’t ever let him get away with that, even if Lou did.

 

“It’s best you pack your bags and stay with Niall for a bit, Haz.”

 

 


	23. twenty two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The result

 

After Harry agreed to stay with Niall, Lou hadn’t progressed for the better.

 

The first three days, he stayed in Zayn’s room, on his bed staring or sitting by the window pane staring out into the street, only getting up to use the bathroom. Bathing proved to be another difficult task (other than eating), Zayn had to coax him into the bathroom but when it was time to take his shirt off he would resist. Not wanting anymore eyes on his naked body because clearly, Harry left some lasting marks - one seemed brutal. They resorted to Lou bathing in clothes.

 

Whenever Zayn had to leave for work (it was true, he was getting promoted), he worried of leaving Lou alone but the young one said he’d be okay so Zayn believed him. Sighing as he close his bedroom door and the view of Lou chewing on a piece of bread slowly while his eyes stared blankly into space disappeared.  His anxiety only dissipated when he came home and found Lou still breathing, though still in an almost catatonic state but breathing, the boy was okay.

 

On the fourth day, Zayn came home to a letter addressed to Lou in their complex’s mailbox. The handwriting was of someone he knew, the almost cursive but messy writing – the hand writing of a future doctor – it gave it  _all_  away. He knew somehow what it contains, most would include words of repent and regret but having being ethical, though wanting so badly to know what the letter ‘s contents, Zayn passed the envelope to Lou, who was at that moment he returned was in his usual seat by the window.

 

Zayn left the boy to read the mysterious letter while he went off to the kitchen to make dinner, only to return later, announcing he had made some skillet rosemary chicken, finding Lou with tears running down his pale cheek while holding the letter close to his chest. Zayn never did ask what Harry had written; he thought it was best to leave it at that.

 

Then the second letter came the next day, the third and the fourth the next few days consecutively – it kept coming. One letter for each day from Harry to Lou. The good thing about these letters was that Lou actually got out of Zayn’s room to retrieve them. Sometimes when Zayn had the night shift, he would be watching telly with the boy in the living area till he perked up at a specific time (5 in the afternoon to be exact) in which a letter from Harry would arrive. Zayn, knowing what Lou wanted without him even speaking (it was so clear in his blue eyes), got up from his sit to walk down to where the mailboxes were and just as he arrived he saw a flop of curly hair (it was longer than how Zayn remembered it being) leaving, out into the cold outdoors.

 

 

 

He smiled to himself thinking that Harry went to this extent of coming everyday from Niall’s house (in which the tube and a bus is needed to get there) just to pass a letter to Louis. It marveled him, how much Harry changed – Harry used to care for no one but himself. And even when Lou still couldn’t forgive Harry of what he did yet, neither could Zayn, the letter at least helped the boy smile once in a while with certain parts of its content. Zayn presumed it to be Harry telling him a funny occurrence through his writing.

 

 

 

It was the 23rd letter Zayn fetched from Lou one evening he returned. He had overstayed at the café till seven due to a clumsy waitress dropping hot coffee onto a customer’s crotch. Surely enough, Lou was waiting for him (or more precisely, waiting for the letter) by the door.

 

 

 

“Hey, Lou,” Zayn greeted, shrugging of his coat and hiding the letter behind his back.

 

 

 

Lou’s eyes were full of hope even with the dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep he’s been getting ( _it was the nightmares, Zaynie, and one of them men looked like Harry!_ ), and he brought his sleeve covered hands to bite on his nail, “is it here?”

 

 

 

 Zayn pulled the boy’s hand away from his mouth and kissed the top of his head, “Of course. But before that, tell me you’ve finished the lunch I made you.”

 

 

 

Lou ran into the kitchen and grabbing the empty plate, showing it to Zayn. “Yes, it was lovely, now can I have the letter?”

 

 

 

“Hmm,” Zayn pretended to inspect the empty plate, so far Lou had been finishing almost all his meals, he still ate scarcely and Liam advised Zayn to serve the dishes he made in little amount to the boy, increasing the amount day by day so that at least, he eats. “Say please.”

 

 

 

Lou groaned, “Please, Zaynie,  _please_.”

 

 

 

“And a smile, please, Lou.”

 

 

Lou forced the corner of his lips upwards, showing his teeth. Fake smile or not, it was a smile regardless from the boy.

 

 

 

“And a kiss here,” Zayn pointed to his cheek and Lou immediately gave it a little peck.

 

 

 

Once the letter was handed out, Lou snatched it, pulling his lower lip between his teeth and tearing the envelope open. Zayn smiled seeing Lou having being excited for something after what happened. Honestly, the letter was the only thing he looked forward to. He’d even lie in bed all day till the letter comes before he’d actually get up. So Zayn made a deal with him that he would get the letter for Lou, if Lou gets up and eats at least.

 

 

 

The Bradford born lad pushed the fringe of his hair back, his hair was overgrowing, he thought, but he couldn’t be bothered to give it a cut for the weather had been too cold and having hair that covered his ears was better than wearing dorky ear muffs. He ruffled Lou’s hair as the boy read the letter intently, ignoring everything else around him, before making his way to the kitchen to prepare for dinner.

 

 

 

Zayn thinks it’s better to have something served quickly because it’s late and having meals on time will have Lou gain his appetite. So he decided on making pasta with a simple Neapolitan sauce, probably adding a bit of meat in it because Dr Liam Payne insisted Lou has a completely balanced meal. Who was Zayn to argue, he’s a free lancer painter slash artist working two jobs with only a secondary school certificate.

 

 

Before he could even start on the sauce itself, a cry emitted from the living area where Lou currently was. Zayn dropped everything, literally, before rushing towards where the cry was coming from. Lou sat where he had stood earlier with a reddened face and tears pouring out of his eyes. He had in his hands, clutching the paper tight, was the letter Harry had sent him.

 

 

 

“Lou? Lou, are you alright?”

 

 

 

Lou hurried into Zayn’s open arms and he cried with the letter still in his hands.

 

 

 

Zayn shushed him for a minute and once he had calmed down, he asked with a voice so mild it sounded like a whisper, “What did Harry say, Lou, that made you cry?”

 

 

 

“He said,” Lou sobbed, catching his breath.

 

 

 

“Breathe, Lou.”

 

 

 

“He said he loves me.”

 

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

 

“Do you think this is some kind of joke!?” Zayn screamed into the phone, noticing his voice was louder than he ever intended to and turned around to see the Lou was still sleeping.

 

 

 

“I  _meant every single word I said._ ”

 

 

 

“Really now, Harold, because how was I supposed to explain to him when he asked me why you hurt him if you love him!”

 

 

 

“ _Tell him that I never meant to hurt him, that I’d never hurt the one I love._ ”

 

 

 

“You are full of shit, Harry. It’s too late for that.”

 

 

 

Zayn could hear a sniff on the other side. “ _What did he say, Zayn?_ ”

 

 

  
“Be specific please, I don’t have time for this because I’ve been cleaning your mess ever since day one,” Zayn spat, bitter.

 

 

 

“ _Did he say he loves me back?_ ”

 

 

 

Zayn contemplated lying. He did because he didn’t want to give Harry any benefit from hearing what Lou said because really, Harry should be suffering as much as Lou did. But because he was weak, he was friends with Harry and hearing how distraught the lad he knew for so long was on the other line, he couldn’t help it.

 

 

 

“He’s said he loves you, too, Harry.”

 

 

 

He heard a shuddering breath on Harry’s side and he continued, “But he’s confused. He’s very confused and very hurt from what you did. He said he didn’t know what to do because every second he is away from you he felt a little part of him crack and die but he doesn’t want to be around you, Harry, because godammit, you hurt him!”

 

 

 

“ _Can I please see him, please, Zayn, I need to make it right._ ”

 

 

 

“I can’t risk you hurting him again, I’m sorry, Harry.”

 

 

 

And Zayn ended the call.

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

 

 

It was nearing forty letters. Lou never failed to read a single one of them. Even so, he never bothered replying, or, he couldn’t figure out on a reply. There were so many things he wanted to say to Harry but when Zayn prompted him with a pen and paper, he couldn’t get anything out. In fact, he got severely emotional that he ended up in bed for the next two days.

 

 

 

Then, on the day the 43rd letter was supposed to arrived, Lou fell ill.

 

 

 

 

“Good morning, Lou,” Zayn greeted him as usual as he wore an apron over his manager’s uniform.  He was busy plating the bacon he had made.

 

 

 

“Morning,” Lou mumbled in return, feeling a bit light headed, probably still drowsy from the sleep. He stumbled onto one the barstools and laid his head onto the counter, trying to ease the world around him that was twirling.

 

 

 

“Feeling alright, sweetheart?” Zayn asked concerned, putting the plate of bacon in front of Lou.

 

 

 

Lou groaned and nodded his head, “Alright. ‘M just tired, is all.”

 

 

 

“Figures. Quite a nightmare you had last night,” the taller of the two caressed Lou’s head, recalling how the boy suddenly woke up screaming at three am. “Let me work on the eggs and we can have breakfast, okay?”

 

 

 

Lou agreed to it, thinking he could swallow down the weird nausea he felt when the bacon was placed in front of him. But just as Zayn began on the eggs, the smell invaded his senses and suddenly, Lou had the urge to throw everything out.

 

 

 

So he made a run for it to the loo and without that much force, he was able to throw everything out into the toilet. He heaved and choked and he swore he was crying because it was so agonizing. His hands trembled as he gripped the seat while the other pressed onto his stomach in attempt to soothe the burning feeling.

 

 

 

A gentle hand was placed behind his neck; it lowered down to his back rubbing soothing circles as Zayn coached him to let it all out. And soon it all ceased but he was left with the feeling of knives in his throat and a weight heavy on his shoulders.

 

 

 

 

“Zaynie…,” he sobbed, letting the other man wipe the snot that was coming out of his nose.

 

 

 

“I know, love, I know, it hurts. Come on, let’s brush your teeth.”

 

 

 

Lou let Zayn help him to the sink and he did just that. He was suddenly drained out of his energy that he needed Zayn to carry him to bed. Zayn made it back into the bathroom and got a towel wet so he could place it onto the back of Lou’s neck. He then told the boy to try and rest while he makes him some soup and call Liam because upon placing his hand onto Lou’s forehead, he found that Lou was slightly feverish.

 

 

 

“I think he ate some bad Mexican food yesterday. I made him eat the chicken, I shouldn’t have done that, he has a weak stomach, Liam, oh  _god_.”

 

 

 

“Hey, hey, calm down, babe,” Liam placed both of his hands on the side of Zayn’s face in attempt to calm the panicky man down. Zayn’s big brown eyes stared back into Liam’s as he searched for answers and probably, a little calm. He wouldn’t know what to do if he was the cause that Lou fell ill. “Whatever it is, it isn’t your fault okay? You did such a good job taking care of him, Zee, such a good job.”

 

 

 

Zayn chuckled wetly. He let Liam gently rub his cheekbones with his thumb, loving how simple touches from Liam were able to return his senses back to him. “Thank you, Li.”

 

 

 

“He probably just fell sick, maybe from the food and no one could’ve seen that coming. So, I’ll have a look at him, then after-,” Liam headed for his bag, taking out a few boxes containing what Zayn knew was urine pregnancy tests. He was perplexed, Liam couldn’t possibly be thinking of-

 

 

 

“We just have to be sure. By this time, if he’s pregnant, there’s enough beta HCG in his urine to tell if he is with child. And if he is, I’ll have to bring him to the hospital for an ultrasound scan.”

 

 

 

“But he couldn’t be- it was just one episode of barfing-“

 

 

 

“We need to know as soon as possible, Zayn, a man’s body is not engineered for child bearing. I’m afraid if he is pregnant, he might need professional care.”

 

 

 

Zayn didn’t say anything in response to what Liam stated because in reality, it was the truth. It was the right thing to do.

 

 

 

So he watched as an irritated Lou got up from bed after Liam had checked his pulse, blood pressure and temperature, to walk into the bathroom where Liam instructed he urinate on three of the familiar looking white sticks.  

 

 

 

Five minutes felt like an eternity, especially for Zayn as he held the boy close. Lou had been dosing off every couple of seconds but was startled, fully awake by the sound of the alarm from Liam’s phone indicating that five minutes ended.

 

 

 

Liam shot up from where he was sitting and grabbed the three pregnancy tests he asked Lou to pee on while Zayn kept still on the bed with Lou. It appeared like the two older males were more interested in the result because Lou seemed indifferent about it, probably not understanding what just happened but knowing it wasn’t such a foreign procedure to him. He had men in the facility made him urinate in front of them with the sticks in their hands.

 

 

 

“Three positives,” Liam announced, turning his back to face the other two who was in the room, “Lou’s pregnant.”  
  


 

And that was the only thing that caught Lou’s attention.

 

 

 


	24. twenty three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Lou meet after months

 

 

 

“I should hate it but I can’t!”

 

“Lou, calm down, you’ll hurt yourself.”

 

“I want to hate it, Zayn! I want to!”

 

Zayn grabbed hold of Lou’s wrists, pulling his arms away from his head because if Lou was to pull harder, Zayn was afraid he’d go bald.

 

“I want to hate it, Zayn; it shouldn’t be in here in the first place!” Lou sobbed, face blotchy and red. Tears seemed to stream out of his eyes in never ending streaks and Zayn really wanted to take the pain away, ease Lou from all his worries.

 

“It is not your fault if you feel that way, Lou.”

 

“Don’t you get it, Zayn?”

 

Thunder blasted outside their poorly dimmed flat. The way the storm brewed outside, how fast it was to cover the rays of the sun, blanketing the little town with its dark clouds - Zayn didn’t have the time to turn on the appropriate lighting. So when a strike of lightning hits, the millisecond of light produced showed how distraught the crying boy that was in front of him was. It accentuated the misery on Lou's face.

 

“I can’t hate it. I’m supposed to hate it-this baby inside of me-because it was made without my permission when it’s my body! But I- I  _can’t_.”

 

“Oh, Lou-“

 

“I loved the baby from before, the child of one of those men in white- so how- how was I supposed to hate the child that’s half of the man I love?”

 

The sentence, created by a 15 year old that has pieces of broken memories that its shard shreds to every inch of his soul and no longer having the innocence he once had, it made Lou seemed older than he was, than he’ll ever be. But nonetheless, that sentence made perfect sense to Zayn because at the end of the day, Lou loves Harry. Despite everything, he hated what Harry had done, that monster Harry was at that time in the back seat of a car, yet, he loves him, that other Harry, the one that took a good care of him - the one who was weak and succumbed to his own demons.

 

If it made sense, Lou loves 90% of Harry, and the 10% was the Harry that raped him – the one Lou hates.

 

Zayn could only imagine what Lou’s feelings were. The torture his had to endure, mentally and physically. The two divisions of what his heart tells him and what his brain does too. Lou was torn, Zayn could see that, and that was way Zayn felt at that moment he could murder his own mate for what he had done to Lou.

 

“You shouldn’t suffer for what he has done, Lou, it’s unfair.”

 

“It’s unfair, it’s unfair, “Lou repeated, now finding his way into Zayn’s arms, his face to the other lad’s chest. Zayn held his tongue, he wanted to say things to make Lou feel better but somehow he couldn't find the right words. So he just kept Lou close as the boy cried the whole night, till he tire himself and fell asleep.

 

It was truly unfair. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

He didn't feel like eating or talking or even waking up for that matter. All he wanted to do was lie in bed, sleep and wake up finding Lou by his side. Lou would the almost too gracefully flutter his eyelids open, revealing the most clear blue eyes Harry had ever seen. And when the gaze of those blue orbs fell upon him, Harry would gently plant his lips onto Lou's as his heart melt with the presence of the one he loves. 

 

Love. Yes. Love.

 

Harry was in love, madly in fact with a person he might never be allowed to see again. To hold, to kiss, to spend a lifetime with him - never would it happen because of his mistake.

 

It was a shame for him to realise too little too late. It was a shame that Harry had to hurt him first, felt his own heart break as Lou's shattered into pieces. Remembering the day he had destroyed whatever hope he had with Lou, having it repeatedly being played inside his head. He just wanted to wake up finding everything was a nightmare, but it wasn’t. So when Harry woke up, cold and lonely with the thought that he had hurt his lovely Lou - Harry wanted to die.

 

But he couldn’t, he couldn’t die until Lou forgive him. He would do anything, anything at all to have Lou look at him as he did before.

 

Winning Lou's heart back proved to be a difficult task, but no matter what he needed to do, he would. 

 

So he decided to write to Lou on how he loves him.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

 

"Sending those letters again, mate?" Niall asked from the sofa, eating away a bowl of popcorn he intended for the movie he planned on watching later but seeing how golden and buttery and oh so yummy it was sitting on the kitchen island - he couldn't resist. He decided to make more later. 

 

Harry shook his head, putting on his dark brown coat, "Nah, I'm going to try and see him this time."

 

"Zayn will kill you," Niall stated matter of factly.

 

"It's two months, nearly three. If he's pregnant, I want to know. It's  _my_  child, too."

 

Niall shrugged, tossing popcorn onto the air then catching it with his mouth - it missed. "Still, Zayn won't let you see him, after what you did. You're lucky I have a soft spot for you or you'd have to go home to your parents."

 

"I'll take my chances."

 

Putting on a maroon scarf around his neck, Harry waved his current flat mate off and left the house. 

.

 

.

 

.

 

After pressing the doorbell, as expected, Zayn answered the door and once his eyes landed on Harry, he crossed his arms and raised a brow. Harry tried to see whether Lou was inside, extending his neck but Zayn was quick to block his view. 

 

"What do you want?" coldly, the olive skinned man asked him. His face showed no interest for the answer however, knowing clearly why Harry had showed up. In fact, he predicted Harry to drop by earlier than this.

 

"I want to see Lou," Harry stated firmly.

 

"I think you lost that right the moment you decided to assault him at the back of your car seat, Harry, goodbye-"

 

Before Zayn could close the door, Harry held at it, refraining it from being shut. 

 

"I need to know if he's pregnant. Please. It's half  _mine_."

 

Zayn let out a non-humorous laugh, "And then what would you do after, if you finds out he is?"

 

"Take responsibility for what I had done."

 

This time, Zayn scoffed, "It's too late, Harry! You've done enough!"

 

A loud thud was heard from inside, interrupting the two men arguing by the door. Zayn couldn't be bothered about Harry that was also concern of the source of the sound and he immediately disappeared into the apartment. Harry followed suit, thinking it was a chance and also because he was afraid the thud was from something bad happening to Lou. Sudden thuds were not a good sign. 

 

Zayn headed for the bathroom but now Harry was taking the lead, opening the door with a force that its handle hit the wall, cracking it. 

 

"Lou!?" he exclaimed upon seeing the small boy on the ground next to the toilet, unconscious with vomit stains on the toilet seat and on the ground. 

 

Ignoring the putrid smell of the vomit and the stains on his jeans, Harry was by Lou's side on the ground, cradling him in his arms. He used his hands to open the boy's mouth and scoop out any remnants of vomit that could obstruct his breathing - thanking God that Lou was still alive. 

 

Tapping lightly on the boy's cheek, Harry tried to coax him back to consciousness, “Lou? Lou, baby?" 

 

Lou grunted, scrunching his face and his hand weakly tried to swat Harry's hand away. 

 

"Lou, open your eyes, babe," he tried again, "can you hear me?"

 

"I'm tired, Zayn," Lou replied in a slur and Harry's heart sank a little. Zayn who was sitting by the side, grabbed Lou's hand. 

 

"I'm right here, love, right here with you."

 

Ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest, Harry asked his mate,” Has this happened a lot?"

 

Zayn shook his head, "His morning sickness had been so bad lately and he's been so weak but this never-" noticing that he had said something he shouldn't, Zayn clasped a hand over his mouth with his eyes widening but hoping that Harry didn't catch on.

 

Harry did, however. 

 

"Oh God, he is- isn't he?"

 

The eye contact Zayn had with Harry earlier broke and he snatched Lou from Harry's lap, carrying him into his room. He was wrong to think that that would stop the curly haired lad. He was wrong to think that Harry would just leave after what he had found out. 

 

"Zayn, did Liam-"

 

"It's confirmed," Zayn deadpanned, placing Lou on the bed and the boy immediately curled up into a ball, "I don't think you deserve to know this but- he's carrying twins."

 

Gasping slightly, Harry could feel stinging from his eyes - why does he felt so overwhelmed by such info?

 

"Twins-" Harry dropped to his knees by Lou's side, "twins, _twins_!" He wanted so badly to touch Louis, to caress that belly, to just- heck, Harry didn't know. He knew that he felt like crying that moment onwards because f-uck, his babies, his babies were inside of Lou,  _now_. 

 

"Don't touch him," Zayn stated firmly and Harry retracted his wondering hand away, "don't  _ever_  touch him without his permission."

 

Harry nodded to that. He felt the need to wipe his eyes and he did with the sleeves of his shirt, quite surprised to see it wet. And now the tears won't stop, s-hit, why won't it stop. His chest hurts, he wanted to hurl and the worst part is, there is snot and tears everywhere on his face because damn it, why can't he stop crying?

 

"I'm truly sorry, Lou," he whispered, close to Lou's face, but it sounded more like a sob, "I'm really sorry, forgive me,  _please_." 

 

He felt a hand on his shoulder, Harry looked up to see Zayn there for what seemed after a few months, a crack in his cold demeanor towards his best mate. 

 

"Come on, Haz, I'll make you some tea."

 

"Can I stay? Please? At least until he wakes up, to know he's alright and I’ll leave, I'll leave right after."

 

Sighing in defeat - Harry just looked miserable, he really couldn't help it - Zayn nodded again, "but you'll be only in the living area, don't ever come near this door until I say so."

 

He honestly didn't want to leave Lou's side but if he wanted to make this work, he had to agree to anything Zayn proposes because he was in the wrong, he was the one with Lou's trust down the drain.

 

He just needed to gain it back. 


	25. twenty four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to patch things up

Liam was the first to come out of the room. Harry stood once he saw the older male emerged from the door. His always-neat-side-swept hair was disheveled, like he had made a run from where he was, probably sleeping, to get here. 

 

"He's dehydrated," Liam spoke, putting his hands on his hips, "I'm going to head to the hospital, see if I could sneak a couple of drips out for him."

 

"The pharmacy should sell some," Harry suggested. He then fished his wallet out of his back pocket and took out his golden credit card, "here, buy as much as you need for him."

 

Liam stood unmoving, staring at the shiny card in Harry's large hands. The name Styles could be seen clearly engraved onto the card - a name that was so powerful in his field. A name that could be seen on the packages of the most reliable drugs - miracle drugs, if Liam was to say. It still awed him sometimes how he came to know Harry, an heir to such influential empire. 

 

"Please. It's the least I can do," Harry spoke again, seeing the hesitation in Liam's face, "I did this to him. I'm not running away anymore, I'm taking responsibility."

 

Liam took the card finally, slotting it within the many cards his own wallet held before putting on his coat and walking out the door. Harry sighed in relief, having known that he was doing at least something for Lou. His eyes darted back to the door of Zayn's room and laced his fingers together. 

 

As his mind searched for words that he was going to say to Lou when he has the chance, Harry waited for Zayn to let him in. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

"Speak to him, Lou. He's devastated. My own heart has gone soft seeing him how he was before you woke up. At least, let him apologise properly."

 

"But I'm scared, Zaynie."

 

"I'll be right here."

 

"What if he hurt me again?"

 

"He won't."

 

"How do you know?"

 

"Because he is Harry. Harry loves you, remember? And if he tries anything, I'll be the first one to kill him -  _literally_."

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Harry didn’t realise how long he stood just staring at the door until Zayn gave him an encouragement nudge. 

 

He could hear his own heart beat in his ears and his breakfast stood at the junction between his stomach and his throat - just waiting to escape his insides. It wasn't facing Lou that scared him, heck, Zayn nearly killed him, it was the possibility of Lou rejecting him that terrified him to his knees. 

 

What would he do if Lou doesn't forgive him? Knowing he would never be able to lay eyes on the beautiful brunette ever again and, he would never ever see his children. His twins, his babies - the very thought of it was able to knock him off his feet. He would fight any man, any being to be apart of his babies' life.

 

But if Lou decided to forget him, to have Harry out of his life forever - then Harry deserved it. He deserved every torture the blue eyed boy casted upon him because honestly, his own thoughts told him he didn't deserve Lou's forgiveness. If he doesn't then, he was still going to take responsibility - he was going to take care of Lou and maybe his children - without them even knowing it.

 

Of course, all his confidence were thrown out of the window when the door opened and he saw Lou. Despite his tired eyes, chapped lips and sorrowful expression - Lou was  _stunning_. It wondered Harry why did he take so long to notice how much he fell for the boy. He even wondered how he chased vaginas before meeting Lou. 

 

Harry turned to see Zayn was standing by the door, giving him a curt nod. Obviously the lad wasn't planning or haven't trust him enough to leave him alone with Lou - and Harry understood his reasons. 

 

"Hey, Lou," he said softly, approaching the smaller male lying propped up on the bed. 

 

Harry didn't miss how Lou winced when he spoke, his tiny fingers gripping the duvet slightly. Lou hasn't heard that voice in a while, he wouldn't deny on how much he yearned it despite everything but it was still ever so painful to hear.

 

The air was thick and on both ends - Lou's and Harry's - it was suffocating. When will such upheaval between them, within the air, ends? Will it ever? Will they return back to the feeling of comfort and safety in each other's arms? It all depended on Lou.

 

Harry dropped to his knees, and because he couldn't hold Lou's hand, he grabbed the end of the bed. The heaviness in his heart was weighing on his shoulders, he could feel himself crumble, trapped underneath it.

 

"Lou, love," he heaved, why does it feel so strangulated? 

 

"Harry," Lou spoke in return, eyes for a minute catching Harry's before falling back to his lap. 

 

Harry took in a shuddering breath because it was so gratifying to hear his name in that voice again. His eyes started to water and the pain in his chest intensified, "I made a terrible mistake, Lou."

 

Lou just nodded, eyes still low.

 

"Will you look at me? I need- I need you to look at me. I know, it's so much for me to ask of you after what I did and I don't deserve any attention from you but I- Lou,  _darling_ , I need you to look at me when I say this,  _please_."

 

It took a while, he hesitated, Harry saw but at the same time, Harry saw a glint of hope and when those eyes met his green ones, the hope that entwined with such devastation within the depths of those blue pools - they were calling out to him, begging him to say something that would change the glimpse of the devil that Lou saw in the past. 

 

"I  _love_  you, Louis."

 

And Harry could hear the sharp intake breath Lou took, in defiance of having known the fact from Harry's letters - it was different to have Harry actually said it. 

 

"I love you, I want to be with you and I made a mistake. A mistake that doesn't deserve the slightest forgiveness from you, I hurt you. But all I ask is for you to give me a chance, Lou. Give me a chance to show you that I am not the man that- that you saw in the car. Allow me to atone my sins towards you. Because truly, I- I can't live knowing that you hate me forever, knowing that I hadn't done anything to prove to you how much I love you."

 

If Lou couldn't look at Harry before, now he was staring dead into Harry's eyes - and Harry didn't know what to make of it.

 

"Please,  _Lou._ "

 

Lou tore his gaze away from Harry and fell onto Zayn's. The hazel eyed lad shrugged, mouthing - "it's all up to you, babe." It was true, everything was up to Lou. To forgive or not, to give chances or to completely eradicate Harry from his life. 

 

Closing his eyes, Lou took one more deep breath, exhaling it then catching Harry's eyes again. Zayn was being truthful - Harry looked like a proper wreck. How long ago did he had a good night's sleep? Why did he look like a mirror of Lou whenever he saw his reflection? 

 

It hit him that how much this ordeal was killing him, it was killing Harry too.

 

So, Lou nodded. 

 

Lou didn't say anything but everything was clear to Harry on what he meant with that simple gesture. Now, he couldn't stop smiling. Sure he was crying - with snot out of his nostrils and tears that seemed to beat the English downpour -  but he was smiling. Half of the weight on his shoulders and chest had been lifted. Everything wasn't into place just yet; Lou had given him his say, now it was up to Harry to return the remaining pieces back to where it belonged. 

 

He wanted to badly to hold Lou at that moment, his heart was aching.

 

"May I- may I touch you?" he asked softly, Lou's permission was key - he didn't need a reminder for that.

 

Lou nodded again, his face a pretty shade of crimson. 

 

With the allowance, Harry wasn't planning to tackle the boy, no, as much as he wanted to but he coundn't. Not yet. He needed to take it slow, to gently carve his way back into Lou's heart. So he took Lou's hand in his and brought kissed it, multiple times. 

 

"Thank you, Lou. I promise you - you won't regret it. I promise you, I love you so much."

 

And there may or may not be a ghost smile lingering on Lou's lips. 


	26. twenty five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress

It was slow, but progress was still progress.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

"How is the soup, love?" Harry asked, scratching the back of his head though it doesn't itch. It seems to be a habit of his lately. 

 

Lou hummed in content, loving the way the spices from Asia mixed well along with some chicken and fish strips. He won't deny missing Harry's cooking because though Zayn was a good cook - Harry was a lot better (or maybe he was bias but who knows). 

 

"I take that as a compliment then," Harry said and he chuckled nervously. 

 

He wouldn’t call it awkward, but they haven't gotten back to their normal Harry and Lou rhythm. Harry promised Lou he would patient, that Lou was to take all the time he needed to open up to Harry once more, to be comfortable having him around and Harry really couldn't blame him because it was his fault to begin with, truth be told. 

 

"I uh I'm going to move back in, Lou."

 

At the moment the words were spoken, Lou lifted his eyes from the soup to meet Harry's - the older lad felt nervous all over again.

 

"I mean, I wan-wanted to ask if-if it's okay with you- I mean-mean I understand if you're uncomf-uncomfortable, Louis-Lou. I've talked to Za-Zayn and he said to ask yo-you. I kind of really mi-miss you."

 

Lou shrugged, and licked his lips, "it's your apartment," was his only answer. 

 

Indeed it was. Part of it belonging to Zayn and it would be truly unfair to have Niall bear the costs of having Harry over. But then again, there could be another reason as to why Lou was okay with having Harry back, besides, the lad had gained enough trust (though not fully) from both him and Zayn these past few weeks. 

 

"You sure, Lou?" Harry enquired again, hopeful, "I can stay with Niall longer-"

 

"I kind of really miss having you around, too," Lou chimed in with a blush creeping on his pale face. 

 

That was all Harry needed to pack his clothes and return home with a clear line drawn between where he can be in the house and where he can't be - and he can't be in Zayn's room where it's temporarily Lou's fort without Zayn being around. Other than that he was free to roam and Lou was reminded to keep his door locked every time Zayn had to attend work.

 

They had very little trust of him - Zayn, Liam, Niall and even Lou - but Harry was out to prove them wrong.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

The temperature had dropped immensely. Even though it was only five in the afternoon, the sun was already out of sight, the wind not helping anyone who was outside with less than three layers of clothing to keep their body temperature down and Harry was thankful that he decided to where his dark brown jumper underneath his coat that day. 

 

He sat on the stairs, looking out for Zayn in a distance. He should be on his way home by this time now that he was ranked to a manager; he rarely ever needs to stay at the cafe beyond six o'clock. Even then, Harry would wait for him to return so that he could enter the house. 

 

It wasn't like Zayn didn't allow him back, he did (Lou did) but it was only because Harry still didn't feel like he earned enough of their trust to be alone with Lou that Harry waited outside for Zayn to return so he could follow suit. Trusting himself was the real problem. It was the tiny bit of his father that reside in himself that he fear would take over, just like that night. So Zayn let him be. It was a conflict only Harry himself can resolve. 

 

"Hey," Zayn finally appeared, ears hidden behind his maroon beanie, "waiting long?"

 

Harry shook his head, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets as Zayn went to open the door. 

 

The warm air once they stepped inside was comfort compared to the freezer of the outside. Both of them shrugged their outer wear and Harry helped placing Zayn's jacket onto the coat's rack. The house was warmly lit, only several lights were on and an empty green mug was seen on the kitchen counter - Lou must've finished his tea Harry made him before he left for uni.

 

"I've got leftovers from the cafe - mind having baloney sandwiches for dinner, Haz?" Zayn asked from the kitchen, taking out wrapped sandwiches from his bag. 

 

"Not at all, " Harry said, walking towards Zayn's door, "Lou?"

 

There was a faint 'Harry' that came from inside and the curly haired lad took it as a green light to open the door. 

 

Lou was in bed, as usual, the pregnancy has certainly weakened him even when he just crossed his four and a half months mark. Mornings was  routine of vomiting his breakfast out, crying, forcing himself to eat and then falling asleep while the other lads went to work or uni. He rarely gets out of bed, he did so only when Harry forces him to walk around because it wasn't healthy for him to be sleeping all day. 

 

Harry knelt down beside the bed, where Lou was lying on his side, the duvet only up to his mid-thigh, revealing the sweat pants he was wearing and the white jumper he had on was hiked slightly up from his position, revealing an almost there pudge. His right hand was connected to a drip, something Liam had attached to him in fear that the young boy might dehydrate from the amount of vomiting he did and the little amount of food he takes.

 

Taking note of an almost untouched bowl of lamb stew he made for Lou for lunch sitting on the breakfast in bed table, Harry lightly scolded the boy, "Lou, we've talked about you finishing your food."

 

Lou groaned, hiding his face behind his jumper clad hands, "Everything I eat I throw up - so I don't."

 

Harry tsked, "you have to, love, you'll get yourself sick and put the twins in jeopardy."

 

"I'm trying, _okay_!?" 

 

Lou didn't mean for it to come out harsher than it actually did, but seeing how taken back Harry was - he realised he had been a little too jarring. He regretted it almost immediately, feeling like he wanted to cry. It was terrible and he really didn't know what has gotten into him. He was either extremely happy at one point ( an emotion he didn't get to enjoy because of his fatigue) or extremely sad or angry at another. 

 

It frustrated him because he never really wanted to hurt anyone around him. Especially the father of his child. 

 

"Lou, sweetheart, don't cry," Harry tried to hush him, glancing over the door, worried that Zayn might notice Lou crying and the first shot that he would fire was going to be at Harry. Luckily, he didn't. 

 

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to shout-" Lou kept sobbing into the pillow. 

 

"No, no, darling, no- It's not you-"

 

"But it is me! I got angry when you're only worried about me and our little kittens!"

 

Harry resisted cooing at their twins' nickname - he tried really hard to. "But darling, you're pregnant. It's understandable- you're emotional, it's only natural."

 

Lou's sobs stopped, and he looked up at Harry with teary innocent eyes, "natural?"

 

Harry nodded, "You're full of hormones, babe, they make your feelings go mental."

 

"But I don't like it," Lou whined and his bottom lip wobbled as he said that. 

 

"No one does, but I find it rather adorable."

 

Lou blinked, sniffing, "you do?"

 

Harry chuckled," yes, Lou."

 

"You don't find it irritating?"

 

Harry shook his head, “You see what you do to me, Lou? I'm completely smitten. I love you, everything about you."

 

Beyond the tears and the red rimmed eyes, Harry could see the blush painting Lou's cheek and he wanted to badly to kiss him senseless. He couldn’t, just not yet. 

 

"Can I touch you, darling?" he asked, he always did. It was his routine every time he wanted to as much caress the boy's head. 

 

Lou nodded and Harry gently placed a hand on top of the boy's head, threading Lou's soft hair with his fingers. The boy leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, loving these tender touches that only Harry was capable of giving. Zayn was comforting, but only Harry was able to give him such sense of contentment, despite his sins in the past, Lou was trying his best to oversee them.

 

"I love you, Louis," Harry repeated, gazing into Lou's face. His tongue never once got tired of saying those three words to Lou - it was only his most sincere feelings for him. "Forgive me, Lou, for what I've done."

 

"I already did," Lou whispered, almost purring to the feel of Harry's fingers massaging his scalp.

 

"I'll never stop saying it, until I forgive myself. I betrayed you and this is my punishment. These stabs in my heart because you forgave me already when I didn't."

 

Lou opened his eyes, catching Harry's gaze - he looked so torn, Lou wanted to take the pain away. 

 

He grabbed Harry's other hand, the one that wasn't on his head, catching Harry off guard - his eyes widening - and he brought it to his stomach, Harry's large palm almost covering the baby bump. Harry's hand was cold, it made him flinch slightly but he didn't mind, he needed Harry to understand this. 

 

"Hazza," Lou spoke, holding Harry's hand still, "I think it's time you stop worrying about the past and start on the future.  _Our_  twins,  _our_  little kittens."

 

"Our-our twins," Harry repeated in a trembling voice. His own eyes were fogging up because the dam had been breached, "Our twins, Lou, our babies."

 

"Yes," Lou smiled, "our twins don't need to know how they come to- but they need to know that their daddies love each other so much. And their daddies love them too."

 

It's amazing how a fifteen year old was able to make such a stupendous, yet genuine, statement. While he was stuck in the trap of the past, chained to the sins and to binds of what happened that night, Lou, the victim of his monstrosity was stronger than him, breaking past all means necessary that was meant to keep him in the abyss. Here he was thriving more than Harry. 

 

It awed him speechless. 

 

"Harry, will you promise that you'll never leave us?"

 

Holding on to Lou's belly where two of his seed with hearts that beat reside, Harry answered truthfully, a promise he wished he would never ever break. 

 

He dared himself to promise Lou again - with his heart and his soul. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

 

Lou didn't get any better, instead it was rather the opposite. He was deteriorating.

 

The fluid support through his drip could only do him so much. His appetite didn’t improve and he was still vomiting out his almost everything he ate despite reaching his fifth month. Harry and Zayn cooked various meals, different kinds that could entice the boy's hunger but it didn’t, at most Lou would eat a few mouthfuls before he would feel sickly and run for the bathroom. 

 

Because he wasn't eating well, his body shrunk when his belly grew. It stretched his skin and he had to go through intermittent painful cramps.  Liam had given him normal painkillers, worrying that stronger ones would hurt the babies because hell, he knew nothing of male pregnancies. It worked somehow, giving Lou a few hours pain free. Also, his stamina is also weakened. Now, he needed help to go to the toilet.

 

Harry no longer waits for Zayn to enter the house, he would even stay home from classes, having Niall taking his notes, worrying that the pregnant boy would hurt himself while no one was home. Indeed, it happened once. Lou collapsed in the toilet while Harry waited outside. He bruised his forehead and had a very mild concussion but the babies were fine, Liam assured. Their hearts were beating strong according to the doctor. 

 

It was like the twins were feeding off everything Louis was. 

 

"What do you feel like having, love?" Harry asked one night while he laid his head at the side of the bed where Lou was. The younger one was playing with his curls while he watched Lou's stomach move with his respiration, his hands playing with the stretched skin.

 

"Ice cream," Lou answered, eyes droopy. He was tired twenty four seven and it sucked because Harry was being such a darling to him, he didn't want to miss a moment of it. 

 

"We ran out of ice cream, so I'll head to the store and get you some, yeah?"

 

"Be back soon?"

 

"As soon as I can, baby."

 

Harry got up from where he was and ran his hand down Lou's face lovingly, noticing how hollow his face was getting, his cheekbones protruding more than usual. He smiled at the boy one more time, promising he'd be back soon with a variety of flavors before heading for the door. 

 

"Harry," Lou called out suddenly just as Harry placed his hand on the door knob. 

 

Harry turned," yeah, babe?"

 

Lou pouted slightly, fingers playing with one another as he looked at the ground, "I want a kiss."

 

Harry chortled, retracing his steps back to Louis. He knelt down once again so he was the same level as the boy and he held the boy's face in his hands, admiring the beauty hidden behind such tired eyes. 

 

"I love you, Lou," he said and he gently placed his lips onto the others. 

 

It was their first kiss after the incident and it was relieving on both ends. Lou whimpered and placed his hands on top of Harry's as he let him kiss him tenderly, lovingly. Both of them didn't want the kiss to end but it had to, so Harry pulled away after a while and Lou whined at the loss of contact. 

 

"I love you, too, Harry," was the last thing Harry heard before he walked out of the room. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Zayn and Liam were arguing when he got out in search for his keys and wallet. 

 

Sure, the couple had fights back then where they were official mostly because of Zayn's lack of ambition or Liam's hectic scheduled that he wasn't even free for Zayn. But the fight they had then in the apartment wasn't because of any of that. In fact, it wasn't even about them.

 

It was about Lou.

 

Once Zayn saw Harry he trudged towards his best mate with tear stained cheeks that it made Harry worry because it took a lot for Zayn to cry. 

 

"Harry, will you knock some sense into that man!" Zayn half screamed, pointing at Liam who looked as distraught as Zayn was. Only, he wasn't crying. His hair was a mess showing how much he had his fingers run through them in frustration. There was even a smell of a cigarette being lit - one of them or both had been so angry to light up.

 

Harry raised both his hands in surrender position, “I sort of need to know what is going on."

 

"Tell him, Liam, dammit!" 

 

Liam rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, walking towards where the other two were, "I told Zayn that Lou isn't going to make it through the pregnancy like this."

 

Harry snickered unamusingly,"you don't have faith in him, innit, Liam?"

 

"It's not that," Liam retorted, "Lou is a strong one, believe me. But his body- his body is an experiment. A man made experiment allowing him to bear children. Here's the thing he's  _an experiment_  - a theory, a hypothesis - but it hadn't come to any conclusions. It  couldn’t because Lou ran away and lost the last child."

 

Harry narrowed his eyes onto Liam,"What are you saying?"

 

"I'm saying is - there is no proof that Lou will make it to the end of the pregnancy with his deteriorating  condition. He will die-."

 

"Don't say that!" Zayn wailed, perfectly describing the words Harry wanted utter.

 

"That's fact, Zaynie, his male body isn't made to carry a baby! In his case  _two_! What do you think will happen as the babies grow? How long do you think will it take for his lungs to be constricted by his gravid uterus that won't be able to breathe! Tell me, Harry! Tell me!"

 

The other two stood dumbfounded by the end of Liam's sentence, completely unexpecting the outburst. Liam coughed, fixing his shirt, obviously embarrassed by the loss of his composure. But before Zayn or Harry could speak, the young doctor spoke again.

 

"I think we should ask your father for help, Harry, if we want Lou to survive."

 


	27. twenty six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Circumstances forces certain measures to be taken

Harry returned an hour later with four flavours of ice cream.

 

He would take longer, driving through farther roads just so he could get his mind clear enough to think but he couldn’t. Not when he knew Lou was at home, with his children in his belly, waiting for him. And mot when he knew Liam would be there.

 

What will he do if he went back home finding Liam gone along with Lou? Returning him to Harry's father in order to salvage him?

 

 " _Your father and his team created Lou's child bearing abilities and I believe they're the experts at it. Sending Lou to a normal hospital despite explaining to them what happened has more risks as they are not familiar with Lou's condition. Your father would know what to do. They managed to maintain Lou's the baby's health last time - until Lou ran away._ "

 

Harry was able to breathe a sigh of relief when he stepped into the warm air of his and Zayn's apartment because Liam was still there, comforting a crying Zayn on the sofa. For a moment Harry stood with the door closed watching the couple. Zayn had his knees to his chest; crying and mumbling about how Lou didn't deserve all this, how there must be another way to save him. Liam leaned in close to Zayn, hand rubbing up and down soothingly on Zayn's shoulder. 

 

" _Don't you get it, Harry? Your father is the best chance Lou's got._ "

 

Then Liam held Zayn at the back of his neck and connected their lips together. Zayn completely melting in the arms of his ex-lover. 

 

" _Do you want him to die?_ "

 

Harry took it as a signal to leave; he tore his eyes away from the kissing couple and headed towards the kitchen. His very presence went completely unnoticed by two of his mates. Harry wouldn't dwell too much about it; he would spare the couple awkward excuses they need to make up for their kiss. Honestly, Harry thinks they should just get back together already. All of these pulling and pushing was a waste of time. If only they would just realise how much their differences was the main reason why they should end up together and the fact that they needed each other.

 

He placed four scoops, all different flavours (chocolate, vanilla, strawberry shortcake and mint), in a bowl, searched for any sprinkles available anywhere in the kitchen (there was none) and headed back to where his little Lou was waiting only to find him already sound asleep. But before he can turn around to place the bowl of ice cream into the freezer for later, a small whimper was heard coming from the boy.

 

"I want my ice cream," Lou mumbled, half asleep.

 

Harry snorted, making his way back, "Your ice cream is here, babe.

 

Putting the bowl on the night stand, Harry helped the pregnant boy onto a more upright position. Just reaching five months, Lou looked severely affected by the whole pregnancy - his stomach bigger than expected (not as big as a nine monther though). 

 

Harry watched as Lou's face lit up and a small squeal escaped his mouth when Harry handed him his bowl. The boy eagerly took a spoonful, sighing delightedly as his taste buds were fulfilled. Harry just observed Lou with pure adoration in his usual spot beside the bed.

 

Moments passed and Harry let Lou finish his ice cream while he lay his head on Lou's lap his hand caressing the swell of the boy' tummy. It was such a wonder. Harry never knew he wanted so much to be a part of this - a part of his children's lives, a father. If he were to ask whether he was ready months ago he would answer no but now, he would do anything, anything at all to ensure Lou and his twins were safe. 

 

 _Anything at all? Really now, Harry_ , his mind taunted. Liam's words replayed again and again in his head. It was just as when he met Lou - his mind couldn't rest, he couldn't help but worry and the fact that he was finally establishing feelings for the younger one wasn't helping in the slightest bit. It made him even more stressed than usual. 

 

 He wanted a happy ending for him and Lou - especially for Lou - with their twins, their children, but was it all possible? The future didn't seem so to Harry, it felt far away, beyond his hands' reach. What he wanted and what the future looks like what it holds - they appeared to be two different entities. 

 

A light flutter beneath the touch of his palm on Lou’s belly widened his eyes in surprise. He gasped and so did Lou, who paused from devouring his cold dessert to stare at Harry in the same expression he held. 

 

"Is that-?"

 

"Our kittens!" Lou squealed. 

 

Harry sat up, placing both of his hands on the mound of Lou's belly, feeling more flutters underneath the skin. 

 

"Oh, oh dear, Lou," Harry exclaimed, smiling wider by the minute, "Lou they  _moved_! They moved! Can you feel it?"

 

"Of course I can! They're inside of me!" Lou scoffed, but with a gleeful expression.

 

With his eyes trained to Lou's belly, his lips never ceased the curve it had on; Harry laid his head just by the side of Lou's navel, kissing the skin over and over. Lou could hear the words of affection coming from  the older one's mouth, whispering sweet nothings to their children, and he gently run his fingers through the lovely curls on Harry's head. It seemed so surreal because there were beings inside of him, human beings - part him and part Harry - and the fact that they moved, made them believe it was actually happening. They were having babies - their children.

 

"I love you, oh, I love all three of you so much," Harry said, still keeping close to Lou's stomach, caressing it like it was the most important thing in the word as the sense of protectiveness inside of him intensified. 

 

Somehow, Harry fell asleep like that and the last thing his heard was Lou telling him how much he loves him too. 

 

.

 

,

 

.

 

A week later, Harry was standing by the stove after his class preparing some boiled broccoli and carrots for Lou while Zayn and Niall sat on the barstool of the kitchen counter, both of them finishing the beef kebabs Niall had bought on the way over to the apartment.  Zayn had a day off and he has been watching over Lou all morning, trying to get him to eat, helping him to the toilet and other times, admiring the way visible movements were seen on Lou's growing belly.

 

Now that Lou was asleep again and Harry was home to make him lunch, Zayn could take a few hours off. 

 

They were talking mindlessly about the X-factor that was going on the telly last night and somehow in the back of their minds, Liam's words were swirling. All three of them including Niall (Zayn had filled him in) knew the words the Liam spoke were the truth and somehow they didn't know any other options because they were too risky. 

 

It was true that Harry's father was Lou's greatest chance of survival.

 

But no one dared to bring it up. Zayn wanted to remind Harry but he was also in doubt of Liam's plan. Liam had told Harry maybe his father would reason with him if he knew that Lou was carrying his grandsons and Harry had shrugged it off,  telling him that his father was a true man of science (and money), willing to sacrifice his own blood for it.

 

Time was ticking and Lou was dying. They had to choose. Regardless. 

 

Then the option of aborting the children had come up, Lou of course, had denied such a thing. There had been a lot of screaming and crying before the small pregnant boy passed out from exhaustion. Since then none of them dared bring it up on Lou - the option to remove his babies. They feared it would kill him, literally. 

 

The stress had been showing on all their faces, especially on Harry who appeared haggard and drained almost every day. 

 

Their discussion about who was the best singer came to a halt when a small timid voice calling out Harry's name was heard coming from Zayn's room. Turning off the stove, Harry didn't manage to even walk out of the kitchen when he saw Lou stood in the hallway, his body supported by the wall, with blood running down his thin legs. 

 

"Harry-" Lou gasped, face completely red and devastated, tears running down his eyes, " _Harry_ , it hurts."

 

Everything after that happened too fast. One moment, Lou's knee buckled and Harry caught him. Then they were in Harry's car, Harry in the back seat with Lou trying to keep the boy awake, drenching his own jumper with Lou's blood while Zayn drove and Niall in the passenger's seat. The blood didn’t stop pouring and upon placing his hand on Lou’s abdomen, Harry could feel how hard it was.

 

"Should-should we take him to Liam?" Zayn asked his voice cracking as he tried with all his might to drive fast on the slippery frozen road. 

 

"No," Harry answered immediately, holding tight to the boy who was almost limp in his arms, "No, no, Liam can't help, the hospital we'll be alerted and we can't- we can't risk it."

 

"Then what do we do, Harry? He needs the hospital!" 

 

Harry didn't respond and the tension in the car grew. Lou's whimpers were heard as he cried and they could hear Lou sobbed, saying how they babies can't die, they haven't named them yet. Harry just tightened his hold on the trembling boy, kissing his forehead repeatedly. 

 

"Harry!" Niall screamed, he was as frantic as the other two were, “Tell us what to do, mate! We haven't got the time!"

 

"Zayn-," Harry finally spoke in almost a whisper, "-my father's. We need to take him to my father."

 

.


	28. twenty seve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Harry's father's facility, Lou's future was still uncertain.

 

Blood. 

 

A colour so devastating in Harry's eyes. Its vermillion hue stained everything that was once pure. It was blood Harry found Lou in, blood that followed suit, blood that stained the back seat of his car after he defiled Lou and it was certainly bloodied hands he was staring into when he awaits outside for news of Lou - who was whisked away the moment he arrived at his father's facility. 

 

He was certain he hasn't gone through some of the corridors, it was a passageway that leads him to the deepest part of the laboratory - where all the secrets lie and maybe, where Louis Tomlinson became Lou. But, of course, he didn't think of where he was is called the depths of hell, as his mind was all wrapped up around Lou and his babies. 

 

It had been hours. Zayn and Niall was outside, so Harry was alone, nothing surrounding him but white walls and the sound of animals in cages in a far distance. His mind couldn't be bothered about it as he could only concentrate on how scarlet Lou's blood was on him, on his hands and jumper, and whether Lou would be alright. 

 

Upon arrival, Lou was unconscious. The boy didn't even realise he was being brought back to the place he tried to escape. He didn't realise that Harry had broken another one of his promises - that was to never let the men that held Lou once, have him again. And Harry feared of what will occur once he did. Lou would probably will never forgive Harry, won't even let him see his children and it scared him senseless of that possibility but somehow, deep down, Harry knew that this was the right thing.

 

He was saving Lou, and his babies, and if Lou couldn't forgive him afterwards, he'd understand because Lou was important to him. 

 

One of the two large doors creaked open and his after appeared complete in a suit. Harry stood once he saw the man - face florid with anger, Harry presumed. Yet his father never screamed whenever he looked like that. Bernard Styles was always composed and sophisticated. That was the scary part; no one knew when he'd blow or when he'd fire anyone.

 

The senior Styles looked over his son, face still unreadable and Harry could die from the way his heart was thumping against his chest. His father sighed, then began walking away with a few last words that Harry swore when he heard them, his stomach dropped to the ground. 

 

"Clean up and meet me in my office."

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

He tried washing the stain away in one of the restrooms, but somehow no matter how hard he scrubbed the blood on his jumper, it wouldn't disappear - just like the uneasiness he was feeling in his heart. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Niall asked as he shivered. Waiting outside the facility in the cold was certainly a bad idea. He leaned his body back onto the railing of the stairs and tipped his head back - his blonde hair matted onto his forehead. The blue sky hidden behind white clouds, beautiful, too beautiful to be on such a dreadful day. 

 

"Lou's a fighter," was Zayn's answer then placing a cigarette to his mouth, taking a deep breath in. 

 

"That doesn't answer the question, Zee," the smaller of the two sighed, now, dropping his head low. He pushed the dirt with his feet, wondering when it'll start to snow again.

 

Zayn blew the smoke he earlier inhaled, watching it dissipate into thin air, "Either way, it  _does_."

 

 

.

 

.

 

.

The head of the Styles' Pharmaceuticals' office was at the top of the main administration building floor. A rather large room for one man, almost presidentially decorated with a large desk and a very comfortable looking office arm chair with a large window overlooking the whole factory and facility. In the center of the room there was a sofa set with a coffee table, where informal discussions and meetings of the main executives were held. 

 

Harry sat on one of the sofas, all stiff and at the same time giddy. He couldn't stop moving his feet, and his eyes couldn’t stay at one place. His father was supposed to be here, but when he entered after he managed to somehow remove (most) of the stain off, the room was empty. His father's secretary - Whitney - told him to wait inside as his father had an important phone call he needed to answer. 

 

Almost twenty minutes later Bernard Styles came in. Seeing his son, he coughed lightly and fixed his blazer. He then went to sit on the sofa in front of Harry, crossing his legs with his shoulders back. Before anything was said, there was a knock on the door and Whitney came in with two cups of tea. The English breakfast scent filled the whole room. Before she left she gave Harry an apologetic smile.

 

If it was intense before, the air surrounding Harry was unbearable after the red haired secretary left.

 

His father hadn't said a word, he proceeded to pour some milk and a tea spoon of sugar into his tea then having a sip before placing it back down onto the saucer. His grey eyes met Harry's and Harry couldn't breathe, so he lowered his gaze onto his father's brown shoes. 

 

"Specimen Lou is surprisingly fine," his father suddenly spoke, causing Harry's head to snap up, dumbfounded. Bernard crossed his arms and closed his eyes, "we've experienced such incidence in his last pregnancy before he escaped."

 

"So he is alright?"

 

"He lost a lot of blood otherwise stabilized now. It is all due to his immunological reaction towards his fetuses. His body is simply confused or rather felt threatened because the fetuses are foreign objects to his body - a male was never meant to carry children - hence forth causing a reaction. In short, his body was trying to kill off the babies. We can't explain why it took months for the reaction to occur this time when before it occurred quite earlier in the pregnancy. I guess some amount of desensitization occurred," Bernard pinched the bridge of his nose, "overall, he is fine at the moment. Nothing steroids couldn't handle."

 

Harry nodded, a weight on his shoulders dropped and relief washed through him because Lou and his babies were okay. The urge to see them was boiling inside of Harry he wanted to run out of the office and find the three human beings he love. But he couldn't do that, not yet, as he had things to settle with his father.

 

Bernard cleared his throat, leaned forward, narrowing his eyes and focusing his stare on his son who looked too much like his wife, " Do you have any idea how much 'Project Lou' costed?"

 

"Your humanity," Harry replied simply, suddenly feeling brave. He regretted it somehow by the look his father was giving him, like he was ready to put Harry his own son on the operating table. H tried his best not to depict such emotions that would deem his inferior to his father. 

 

Bernard scoffed, "you're an immature one, my son." And it was Harry's turn to cross his arms. Not surprised however that his father thought of his that way.

 

 

"The 'Lou' project is government funded. It's confidential to the public until it is proven successful. But that's not the point,  the point is you've been hiding a billion dollar experiment in your apartment without knowing the risks. If project Lou fails because of you - Harold - imagine the amount of money from the people are wasted," Bernard raised a brow at Harry, "And you dare talk to _me_  about humanity. I am a scientist thriving in research to find the next solution to the survival of humanity."

 

"You stole a child from his mother, took all the innocence from him with the hands of your workers in order to conserve humanity? That's pretty contradicting, father," Harry rebutted.

 

"You can't triumph without a little sacrifice. Anna Tomlinson is a woman gone bankrupt from debts after her husband left her. The government offered her a solution - her son for a new life. It's basically putting her son for adoption and we took him in. She willingly signed papers for Louis to be handed to us."

 

Harry somewhat knew of the story of Louis' mother involved money. Everything from the start revolved around money. 

 

"If the Lou project is successful, the world is in great deed of the boy. The decline in the world's birth rate is alarming and we're just - as humans - finding a way to propagate our population. Ensuring that extinction is not an answer."

 

"You're a self-righteous fool, father," Harry deadpanned, his hands together in a tight fist.

 

"And I supposed you are not your father's son? Whose twins is that boy carrying, Harry, because I have an idea."

 

The last sentence left staggered the younger Styles, his Adam’s apple bobbed as he nervously swallowed his words. His son's demeanor only confirmed his statement regarding the father of the twins Lou was carrying.  

 

"Maybe you thought you'd play the hero, Harry. Save the poor boy from his torture but who was it that brought him back here, heavily pregnant and dying? You thought you saved him but in truth my dear boy, you are no different than me."

 

"I am  _not_  you," Harry seethed past gritted teeth, his eyes seeing only red, his fists clenched so hard that if he didn't he'd land it on his father's face.

 

Bernard's face however, remained unchanged, "Good, pack your bags."

 

Surprised, Harry leaped off the sofa, "what?"

 

"Pack your bags, Harold, you will be finishing your medical degree in Canada."

 

"Are you serious? Father, you can't be serious!"

 

Bernard stood up, his eyes on the same level as his son, "I've called your faculty's dean, telling him that you'd be transferring to a university in Canada where one of my close friend is the Chancellor. They had agreed in the transfer."

 

 

"I won't go! I want to stay with Lou, these are my children for fuck's sake and I love him!"

 

Harry's ear rang after his father's palm hit his right cheek and he nearly fell to the ground but the hit wasn't as hard as Zayn's fist the day of the incident. 

 

"You are the foolish one! I can't guarantee Louis Tomlinson's survival for as I said earlier he is an experiment. It was a miracle he made it this far without his supplements. Its better you don't get any more closer to the boy or his children-"

 

"But father, I love him already!"

 

"And that is why you must leave!" his father's voice boomed. It was the loudest Harry has ever heard him, "Leave and mend your broken heart because Louis is never meant to be yours, Harry."

 

"You can't-," and Harry didn't know how - it was so sudden - he felt warm streams of tears shedding from his eyes. Seeing his only son  in front of him like that, Bernard's face softened, even his voice was on a different tone.

 

"Harry, Lou doesn't belong to me nor does he belong to you. He belongs to the government."

 

Harry kept his eyes to the ground as the tears kept coming. Bernard placed his hands on Harry's shoulder in attempt to comfort him.

 

"Whatever happens to him, he will be in the hands of the government. If you oppose them, there is no telling what they will do to you or the boy! You can't have him neither can I. Please understand that I too is a spawn in this game. Leave Harry. The earlier you leave, the less pain the boy will feel and you yourself will recover far more easier."

 

Harry let out a sob and his father wrapped his arms around him.

 

"Do not oppose ones who have greater power than you. They can hurt you and the ones you love."

 

"Will he be in good hands, father? Please, I don't want to leave if they're going to torture him," Harry wept on his father's shoulder. 

 

"He will, I promise you that. I'll handle him myself, I'll fire those who once abused him. I promise that he will receive better treatment than he did before. I will send you updates on the boy while you're in Canada. Nothing too detail just to inform you that he is beind treated well."

 

Damn his father, Harry thought because no matter how eccentric Bernard could be, there was some sense into what he was speaking. Who was he kidding? Who was he in this whole game? He is nothing  but a mere ant, watching giants make their move. He couldn't do anything, he couldn't save Lou by himself. And to think he imagined having a small house with the boy and his children playing around them - it was never going to happen because his father was right , Lou wasn't his to begin with. 

 

So Harry wiped his eyes and regained his composure, pushing his hair back. If he wanted what's best for Lou, this is what he had to do - leave. Leave Lou in the hands that could at least save him, because all Harry ever did was bring him pain. Finding Lou might seem like the best thing that could ever happen to him and Lou may love him back, but it appeared the opposite for the young boy. 

 

"Father," Harry spoke, voice coarse, "if it's possible, after everything ends and it is regardless successful or not - will Lou ever be free?"

 

Bernard shook his head, " I can't say for sure, but I will try and speak to them. It's the least I can do, I owe you and the boy an apology. I am truly sorry it came down to this, Harry."

 

Harry nodded his head because he too was sorry. Sorry he had casted all of this upon Lou. 

 

Before he left the room Harry asked his father one more request and that was to see Lou one more time. Bernard was reluctant, but gave him the permission either way because he just couldn't stand seeing his son in such a state - extremely shattered. 

 

And when the door to his office was shut and his son headed to where Louis Tomlinson was, Bernard Styles slammed his fists to the coffee in frustration as his own eyes stung because he just ruined a beautiful love that could have blossomed if they were in different circumstances. 

 


	29. twenty eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry wasn't going to break his promise again.

 

 

 "I need you to do something for me, Zayn. Niall."

 

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There were two guards in grey suits in front of the door whom when Harry flashed them his identification card, let him in. Harry took note of that. The guards were rather large, as tall as Harry but bulkier, and they wore black shades hiding away their eyes. They reminded Harry of the men in black even though the suits they had on were of lighter hue. They certainly looked like they were trained to keep an important (rather expensive) object in place.

 

"Harry," he heard a weak voice call as he stepped into the heavily guarded room. 

 

A small boy lay on a hospital bed with various kinds of wires attached to his forearm, chest and stomach. Two steady beating sounds heard from one of the machines, and Harry's eyes couldn't help but water. Water at the way Lou was looking at him, smiling tiredly and the tears spilled out like a dam when he realised the steady beating sounds were from his babies, his twins, his and Lou's little kittens as Lou would call them. 

 

"Baby," Harry wheezed, rushing by Lou's side yet still careful of the many wires literring the ground. 

 

The younger of the two giggled, reaching out his hand to wipe the tears on Harry's face, "Our kittens are fine! I can hear them! Those are our kittens, right, Harry?"

 

Harry nodded, leaning into Lou's gentle touch, "yes, yes, those are our babies."

 

It wasn't loud but the heart beats filled the background other than Lou's own heart monitor and it was surprisingly comforting to Harry's ears - to know that the three most important people in his life were okay. Lou's colour had returned to his face somewhat, thanks to the blood transfusion still going on with one of the lines to the dorsum of his left hand. On the right hand however, was clear fluid. There was another line to his neck - a central venous line - and Harry presumed there is where they set Lou's total parenteral nutrition, since he's not eating well. 

 

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Harry asked as he pulled over a chair to Lou's bedside, sitting on it then lacing his fingers with Lou's. 

 

"Better," Lou stated, his legs moved underneath the covers, "it stopped hurting. And there's no more blood."

 

"That's good. Did the doctors - did  _anyone_  treat you bad while I wasn't here?"

 

Lou shook his head to that because it was true, well, he wasn't awake till an hour ago but so far only a nurse had seen him and she was extremely nice to him. Even her touch was tender, almost loving, like a mother's - not that he remembered a lot of his mother, just bits and pieces of memories here and there. 

 

"What's on your mind, love?" Harry wanted to know, seeing how Lou's eyes seemed to be staring into the distance. 

 

Jumping a little, Lou smiled warmly at Harry and placed his hand over the swell of his belly, " I just - I was just thinking that I - I'll never leave my babies like my mum left me."

 

Harry tightened his grip around Lou's hand, "you will never be a bad parent, Lou. I'm sure; you'll be a great one."

 

"And you'll be a great daddy, Harry!" the small one suddenly giggled, "It rhymes!"

 

Oh, how innocent Lou sounded all too sudden, Harry thought, planting a kiss onto the boy's knuckles. 

 

"But,” suddenly Lou spoke again, face falling and smile fading, "but what if I die?"

 

"Lou, don't"

 

"What if I die before I meet them, what if- what if they think I left them on purpose like my mother-?"

 

Upon hearing how Lou's heart monitor suddenly increased, Harry somehow knew it would ring an alarm somewhere alerting the staff so he needed to calm Lou down before that. He got off his chair, holding Lou's face in his hands, forcing the boy to look at him and goddammit, Lou was crying, Harry wanted to shoot himself.

 

"Lou, darling, you're not going to die, alright? You're not. You're so strong, Lou, I know you can do this. And they- they're going to help you, okay, baby? They're going to make sure you get to see your babies."

 

The speed of the sound in the background from Lou's heart monitor reduced and Lou sobbed a little before giggling again. It must've been the hormones. 

 

"Our babies, Harry, _our_  kittens! They are yours too!"

 

Harry beamed at that, leaning in to kiss Lou's forehead, "Yes, darling, ours."

 

"And you'll be here to greet them with me, Harry. You'll be by my side then too, right?"

 

The tall lad stiffened, his father's words returned to him. But then he nodded, forcing a smile to return to his face as he sat back down. He held one of Lou's hands while his other hand he used to touch Lou's stomach, feeling slight fluttering underneath.

 

"I promise I won't leave you three now, didn't I?"

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

 

It's been two nearly three hours and Lou had finished his 6th packet of blood when all of the sudden a loud noise was heard from outside the room. A nurse recently came in for Lou's hourly checkup and had left within twenty minutes before the noise erupted. It startled Lou from his sleep, the boy gasped as if he needed air and Harry was there to soothe him almost immediately.

 

"What was that, Harry?"

 

"Shh, it's nothing, love," Harry comforted his lover, rubbing gently his thumb on the boy's cheek, "wait here, I'll have a look."

 

Lou grabbed his wrist, face crumpling and voice wavering, " don't go."

 

Harry turned around once more, pecking Lou's lips. It was dry and chapped but it was Lou's lips and he wanted so badly to snog the boy till he was breathless. Now was not the time though. He had to set his priorities straight and that was keeping Lou safe.

 

 "I won't leave you, babe. I promise."

 

Reluctantly, Lou let Harry's wrist go.

 

.

 

.

 

. 

 

There were no guards by the door when Harry poke his head out. It appeared that the distraction was a success. The guards were probably off to where ever Niall had set the sound to explode, buying Harry enough time to get Lou out of here. He hurried back inside, not answering Lou's queries of what happened and he went straight to unplug every system monitoring Lou's body. 

 

"Harry, what's going on?" Lou didn't stop questioning however, as Harry unstrapped the fetal heart monitor from his stomach, "Harry tell me,  _please_!"

 

"I'm getting you out of here, love," the other answered simply, carefully detaching the line which had previously been used to transfuse blood into Lou - his haemoglobin had increased tremendously since then. Afterwards Harry moved to Lou's central venous line, not removing the nutrition bag attached to it nor the needle because he thought Lou might need it (and it'll be such a hassle to set up a new one). 

 

"To where Harry?" Lou allowed passively for Harry to fully detach everything off him. Hearing how suddenly alarms started ringing when Harry pulled off his heart monitor. 

 

"Anywhere where you and our babies can be free."

 

There were no questions further as Lou was satisfied with that answer itself. Once everything was off except for the TPN, Harry lifted Lou up bridal style before making a swift exit through the door he earlier came in from. 

 

 

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.

 

Sirens were blaring and different guards in all sorts of uniforms started running around the whole facility. One of the most important assets had disappeared along with a detonation of mysterious handmade explosives in of one of the laboratories. Everyone involved was going hysterical. 

 

Outside, just out one of the back doors, Niall was waiting with his uncle's Range Rover, hearing the entire ruckus going on the inside. He rubbed his hands together, generating heat that could stop his shaking from the cold but he knew it wasn't just that. It has been ten minutes and he was where he should be five minutes earlier.

 

He knew it was going to take longer. It was no easy task escaping a highly secured facility, the failure rate was close to a hundred percent but there was Harry and Niall was sure Harry would do anything to ensure Lou was safe. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Everything felt like deja-vu to Lou. 

 

He did this once. Causing chaos in the facility. Back then he was desperate to escape. Back then he hurt or killed people standing in his way. Back then, he was running on bare feet with nothing except a piece of thin clothing he was forced to wear and he had no one to hold on to, no one to make him feel like he was safe.

 

Now he had Harry, as he clung to Harry, hiding his face at the crook of Harry's neck, he closed his eyes, escaping the entire havoc around him - the footsteps and the sirens. He inhaled the scent of Harry, trying to calm his frantic heartbeat and his shallow breathing.

 

He felt Harry's hand at the back of his head and he whimpered, he wanted this to be over so badly.

 

"Just  a while more, lovey," Harry whispered, docking under the stairs as a few men was seen running towards one direction. Once they were far enough, Harry went the opposite way. 

 

 _Just a while more, just a while more_ , Lou repeated in his head.  _Harry would keep me safe, Harry would protect us._

 

Lou gasped as he felt himself falling forwards, holding onto Harry as the taller lad caught his footing. Harry is always clumsy - Lou thought to himself, smiling a little against Harry's skin - even when he is trying to save us.

 

It felt like an eternity, and he wouldn't mind clinging onto Harry like this forever if it was in a different kind of situation. If they weren't trying to escape. If they weren't being chased. 

 

"We're almost there," Harry said once he saw the door he was aiming for. A back entrance forgotten by most of his father's employees. The reason he knew of such exit, he owed it to his childhood as he remembered exploring his father's facility to such depths. Years passed and he never though knowing such passage would come in handy.

 

"Baby, we're almost there," he half laughed, he was finally going to set Lou free. Niall was waiting outside the door with his uncle's four wheeler and they're going to speed out of here through the woods. Then they will meet up with Zayn at a particular restaurant where his best mate would hand him a bag of cash - withdrawn from Harry's account just enough for them to make it out of this country and hopefully, enough to buy supplies to ensure Lou and their babies' safety.

 

It was a full proof plan. They would escape and have the happy ever after together, as a family - free. 

 

But of course the image of his dream house and his children playing with their tricycles on the driveway shattered when the door opened and one of the guards in grey suits was holding Niall, his arms twisted back and crying in pain. 

 

"Harry, don't come over!" the blonde shouted and Harry stopped dead on his tracks. 

 

"Is that Niall-," Lou asked, still unaware of the situation because he had kept his head down and Harry held it there, shunning him away from the view. 

 

Turning around, Harry thought he was ready to make a run for it, find another escape route but his plan failed when his father stood there in the middle of the hallway with a number of guards behind him. 

 

"What do you think you're doing, Harry," his father questioned, though he knew pretty well what his son was up to. " Do you think the bank won't send me a notification of the mass withdrawal from your account?"

 

Holding on to Lou protectively, Harry shot back, "I'm saving him. Setting him free. Ain't it pretty obvious, father?"

 

"We've discussed this-"

 

"This is unethical and I am just righting your wrongs, father!"

 

Bernard's lip formed a thin line. He stared back into his son's green eyes then eyed the whimpering boy in his arms. His heart was conflicted and Harry saw right through him - he knew, Harry knew, he had a chance.

 

"Father,  _please_ , I just want Lou to be happy."

 

Looking to the side, Bernard tore his eyes away from his son's pleading eyes. He then ordered with a thick voice, "Break them up."

 

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.

 

.

 

"Get off me, you bastards!" Harry screamed as the men tore Lou from his arms and pinned him down to the ground. Lou was frantic, he struggled within the grasp of one man, one man was enough as he was already so weak to begin with.

 

"Harry! Harry! Help me!" Lou reached out for Harry's hand, stretching as far as he could so he could just touch him but the men holding Harry down wasn't letting Harry to even extend his hand for Lou.

 

"Louis!" was all Harry could do, his face was pressed to the floor and it was hard enough to look up, "Get off! Get off me and let him go!"

 

"Tranquilize subject Lou quickly, he'll damage the babies," Harry heard his father ordered and a man in his late forties with a lab coat stepped forwards, a needle in his hands. 

 

"No!  _No_! Harry!" Lou wailed when he saw the familiar man with the medicine to knock him off. His eyes was begging for Harry to break free and save him but all Harry could do was struggle, struggle and failing. 

 

It was such torment to Harry - to see Lou crying and pleading for Harry to hold him, make him feel secured but Harry wasn't able to anything else but watch. Watch as they injected some fluid into Louis and watch as the boy slowly weakened, falling with someone else catching him.

 

"Louis-," Harry cried out weakly, his vision blurring from the tears that had shed. Lou's eyes never left him until it closed completely and one of the men carried him further away from Harry. 

 

" _Dammit_!" Harry bawled in frustration, trying to wrestle the men who held him down off him, "fuck all of you!"

 

"It's for both of your good, Harry."

 

"Shut up!" Harry lashed out to his father, "Shut. Up."

 

No one else said a word, the only whimpering he could hear was from Niall, who still had a man holding his arm back. Bernard coughed lightly then placing his hands back. He signaled for the guard carrying Lou to take him away, the servant immediately obliged. 

 

"You are to be sent to Canada as discussed. A flight is ready for you and you will only be allowed to return after you've achieved your degree."

 

With that being said, Bernard left as the guards dragged Harry out of the facility. 

 


	30. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The grand finale

 

 

It haunted him like a ghost - invading his very dreams almost every night, his thoughts whenever it was possible. It was almost beyond the bounds of possibility for Lou to stop existing in his mind. 

 

He would sketched his face - his ability to draw had always been there since he was a child, hence why Harry thought he was more of an artistic being rather than the scientific - Harry would sketch Lou's face from his memory every single day, without fail. His art book was failing to hide underneath his mattress as days went by and he resolved it by hiding it in his drawer, where his roommate couldn't find. 

 

But of course, the ginger with freckles down his neck would notice, his mysterious roommate from England seemed to be lost in thought most of the time. If he wasn't studying he'd be facing the window, staring out in the open with a sketch book in hand. The ginger - David - out of curiosity asked Harry of what he was drawing and Harry would just show him - a picture of a mesmerizing male almost feminine with, always, only his eyes were coloured blue. But never once Harry would tell him who the mysterious yet truly breathtaking face belonged to. 

 

A lover - possibly - the confused roommate thought. Harry wasn't one to go on dates while he lived in that foreign country but he was never on the phone with a particular person either. So who could that person he repeatedly sketched be? And when David enquired about the reason behind such drawings, Harry answered simply - he didn't have  _his_  picture so he didn't want to forget  _his_  face. David left it at that, thinking that his roommate was better left unbothered.

 

.

 

.

 

.

Time went agonizingly slow, torturing the curly haired lad to the brink of his sanity until it was the day he graduated with a medical degree. The day came when he received a letter from his university congratulating him. His convocation went on and Harry saw the faces of his parents in the crowd when he went up stage but he never greeted them, disappearing into his hostel. He couldn't face his father, not even after three years. 

 

Then it was the time he was bound to go home. Even the flight felt longer than it's supposed to be and Harry couldn't fall asleep because he was coming back to where Lou was. The first thing he would do when he reached the ground was look for Lou. 

 

He tried to escape his father's men when he saw them as he walked through the 'arrival' gates but of course, they caught onto him, gripping his arms like he was the president's son or something. He would struggle, throw a couple of punches as they dragged him to the car, but once he saw Niall and Zayn inside, he immediately calmed down and the thought forgotten.

 

They gave each other the longest hugs and Harry realised how much he missed his friends. The car started moving and his two mates began bombarding him with questions of Canada. Niall went more specific, "how were the girls?" and Harry answered with a shrug because while he was there, he didn't notice anyone. Lou conquered his mind. Lou was everything to him. He even graduated because of Lou. 

 

The car moved and Harry wanted to ask of Lou from his friends but before he knew it, he already arrived to a familiar place - his family home. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

"Go on, mate," Niall coaxed as Harry stood uncertain in front of his house. 

 

He hadn't been here in three years yet everything looks familiar. The water fountain, the garden, the century old mansion - an heirloom of his family. It felt like the day he was forced to leave, dragged out by his father's - or more precisely, the government’s- men and forced into the car where he was then again dragged into a private jet. It all seemed to extravagant, luxury - like the lives of the rich and famous - but to Harry, it felt like prison. He had returned to his own prison cell.

 

"I don't need to be here," Harry deadpanned, turning around but Zayn stopped him.

 

"Haz, just go inside and talk to your father."

 

Harry slapped Zayn's hands off his shoulder, "I don't need to. I have no relations to that man."

 

"Harry-" and Harry was walking away. He didn't know where he was heading to but he was sure, he didn't want to go into the house. He was sure the day his father took Lou away from him was the day he disregard that man as his own blood. 

 

He was going to find Lou himself. The sound of the door opening only made him walked faster. He expected a loud voice to boom - his father's voice - to call him, order him to turn around. But instead it never happened.

 

"Daddy?"

 

And Harry stopped when he heard a young child's voice.

 

"Papa, that daddy?" another one spoke. Harry have yet to turn around because - what the hell?

 

"Yes, that's your daddy." Despite he hadn't heard that voice in over three years, Harry recognized it immediately, forcing him to turn around too quickly, and he nearly tripped. 

 

He still fell to the ground, however, his knees feeling a little weak when he saw who stood in front of him. He looked a bit older, his hair shorter than Harry remembered and his face seemed a lot healthier than the day they part. Yet his eyes, godammit his eyes were still so beautiful, shining brighter than any star. Those faces he drawn a million times just because he was afraid he would forget him but how could he? How could he forget such a beautiful human being? 

 

"Daddy! Daddy!" He felt a tug on his arm. As he was on his knees his eyes was at the same level of two little toddlers. 

 

One a pretty little girl, her hair a mop of luscious brown curls, some tied with a pink ribbon. Her eyes bright blue and she had a dimple on her right cheek. Her nose was slightly up-turned and when she smiled at Harry, calling him 'daddy' and placing her small palm on his cheek - Harry sworn he would protect her from all the men that would be aftering her when she grows up. 

 

Then the other was a boy, light feathery hair, almost blonde in nature but still, having that brownish tint and his eyes were jade - Harry saw himself when he looked at the child's eyes. He had dimples on both sides of the chubby cheeks and unlike his sister, he seemed a little shy. He whispered daddy and Harry wanted to see the boy growing up to be a wonderful man. 

 

"Tell daddy your names, kitties," Lou said, kneeling down and Harry just couldn't take his eyes off such beauty - feeling like he had fallen in love all over again.

 

"I Ewa!" the girl chirped.

 

"n' I Feeweep," the boy followed her sister.

 

Lou chuckled and shook his head, "This is Eva, your daughter and this is Philippe, your son."

 

"My-," Harry chocked, looking back and forth at the two beguiling children in front of him. His eyes started to water and there's this constriction within his chest making it hard to breathe because oh, they were his children.

 

"My- mine- our-"

 

"Yes, Haz, our twins."

 

"Our twins. Our kittens," Harry cried, wrapping his arms around the two children who giggled because their father's hair was too curly, it tickles. 

 

"Come to uncle Zayn, Eva, Philippe. Give your daddies some time," Zayn called and the twins detached them from Harry (even though Harry was reluctant to let them go) before running and giggling happily towards their favorite uncle. 

 

"It's really you, Lou," Harry gasped, touching Lou's face just wondering if this was all a dream and he'd wake up still in Canada. 

 

"Yes, Harry, it's me," Lou confirmed, leaning into Harry's touch. His smile was never as bright as this, Harry thought, remembering the last few days they had with each other.

 

"If this is a dream- oh god, it's a nightmare-"

 

Lou chuckled, "It's not a dream you big nerd."

 

"You're here," Harry pulled Lou into his arms, nuzzling his face to the crook of his neck; "you're really here." 

 

Feeling the warm droplets of Harry's tears on his skin, Lou began tearing himself, "Yes, I'm here. Our babies, too."

 

Pulling away, Harry gaze into Lou's eyes, seeing somehow his blue eyes weren't so radioactive looking than last time. It was of normal blue, a beautiful blue nonetheless but it was as it were. Harry realised how he missed those eyes so much and it was only in his dreams before to have Lou look back at him like this.

  
"I love you, Lou."

 

"I love you, too, Harry," Lou replied, "kiss me, you nerd."

 

And he did. He kissed Lou. Feeling his heart melt at the touch of his lips against Lou's soft ones. As he kissed Lou he felt so alive, alive and a sense of overprotectiveness washed over him again - he had his family and he was going to protect them with everything he has got. 

 

"Ew," he heard his daughter said and his son just giggled followed by Niall's contagious laughter.

 

When they pulled apart, behind them stood Bernard - looking rather dashing in his maroon sweater and slacks. He gave Harry a warm smile in which Harry returned because he figured out this was probably his entire father's work. It made him feel rather bad for doubting his father's intention as a human being. His father really does care - his father loves him.

 

Before Bernard turned around to enter the house and leave the little family reunion, he said, in an almost smug tone (in which Harry found it was his way of joking),

 

"I told you I'll take care of them for you."

 

 

_**Fin** _

 


End file.
